My Boxing Day angel

[chepie]

Wow can't believe I am here again............

After saying goodbye to Hugh in August we thought hard about trying again....... and we decided that we would try again, so when I found out I was pregnant I was so joyed but so scared at the same time... especially when I worked out our due date to be in August and I hate August (as you can see in my sig).... so after having a scan on Thursday to make sure bubs was in the right spot, the tech said we measuring 6 weeks not 7 weeks and not to be worried about it (but I was!)... On the Friday I started spotting, so the began the panic.... Though I had spotted in other pregnancies- this felt different... It got worse on Sat and the cramping began on Christmas day....... So I tried not to let it get me down as the kids were so excited about Christmas, went to bed with really bad cramps that night- lit a candle for Hugh and asked him to watch over us.......

Woke up on Boxing Day and that when the bleeding really started..... Went to local doc who wrote me a letter to take to hospital.... Mum arrived from Syd for our annual Boxing Day lunch, so she took the kids for us ..... Waited 4.5 hours in ED during that time **TMI*** I went to the toilet and this big clot came out and when I looked at it I could see a tiny sack - my baby ..... I gently wrapped him up and put him in my bag - sorry if that sounds weird but I couldn't allow him to be flushed away or put in the bin!! I just couldn't so I am going to bury him....

Finally got taken to antenatal and it was confirmed that we had miscarried..... The doc was so nice to me, gave me some pain relief and explained that I miscarrying naturally and come back next week for a check up.... And there is not reason to try again...... so we left hospital after 6 hours empty and broken again

Try again, I really don't think that I can..... I know that I am sooooo lucky to have DS and DD, but to have another buba pass it's too much to bear....

I know things have just happened but it hurts so much, that my heart hurts and it hurts to breathe

thanks for reading and please don't judge me or think I am weird for taking my baby home -please

xx

[*LittleMissSummer*]

No judgement here hun I didn't allow my baby to be flushed away either.

I am so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for you.

RIP little one xoxo

[Enchanted]

Oh Chepie I am so sorry gorgeous.

This is so unfair. Sending you loads of love & hugs right now
Be kind to yourself and try & take it easy. Don't be silly about taking your angel home, I have done the same.

Im going to light a candle for your precious angel now.

Thinking of you

[Maruschke]

So sorry to hear that your bub has gone RIP little bubba xoxo

[MistyFying]

I'm so sorry Chepie. And I don't think you're weird

[Charlotte91]

Oh, chepie. I'm so sorry.
I would have done the same thing, wrapped up my angel and taken him home.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

RIP sweet angel.

[Footsteps]

Not weird at all huni...Im so sorry huni. Huge hugs and love. R.I.P Angel xx

[diannescruffy]

sweetie, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Regards,
Dianne

[LuluHB]

I'm so sorry your precious baby couldn't stay. I don't think its strange at all to take your baby home - I would have done (and have done) exactly the same thing.

[Marley&Me]

I'm so sorry chepie xx

[RhiChiChi]

Chepie, I am so sorry to hear that your bubs couldn't stay earthside. I would have taken my bubs home too. ((hugs))

[Pip82]

So sorry chepie. I would have done the same xx take care

[Kirley64]

Oh hun I'm so sorry that this pregnancy hasn't lasted. Xx It hurts so much I know but hang in there sweetness. The pain will ease. U will know intime whether you.are up.to trying again. Xx I would've also taken my baby home xx

[minniemouse]

so sorry for your loss our stories are similar i have 2 children, almost the same ages as yours and i have had 4 losses in trying to get that 3rd child, it is so unfair you are going through this again

[Trillian]

Chepie, I think any one of us would have done the same thing in those circumstances. To you he was your baby and he deserves a proper burial Its just devastatingly sad that you have to do this again

[Rainbow_Mumma]

Im so sorry your baby had to leave, it never gets any easier does it (though, why would it) I hope when/if you try again that it will have a happy ending.
Not weird at all if I could have I would have done the same thing each time we m/c

[~Hestia~]

I'm so sorry

[Joeve]

Oh sweetie I am sorry x