My early loss - a few questions

[TickToc]

My cycle afterwards was normal - except I seem to have ovulated earlier but that could be normal too as I've haven't been temping long enough to develop a set pattern.

I hope you're feeling ok xx

[Ladylove]

I've just realised it's CD 7 and I'm still spotting. Normally I bleed for 4 days, almost to the letter, then MAYBE a fifth day of light spotting. The blood is soooo dark now. I guess that's normal? My hpt came up clear on Sunday already so it must just be that my lining had started to thicken up nicely for the baby already then the miscarriage and now there's just a bit more to be shed than in a non-pregnant cycle?

Feeling ok, not too bad at all just thinking about things a lot.

[juniper76]

I think my cycle was pretty normal.

[Cassius2]

For me the spotting was different from one loss to another. I cannot explain why...other than maybe there was more lining than other times ITMS.

If the spotting continues through another cycle I would get it checked as it can irritate the cervix and make it sore etc. But otherwise, for the most part, after an early loss all went back to normal within one cycle.

[Ladylove]

Spotting stopped so that's good. Hubby and I DTD for the first time last night, was really nice but what an odd feeling to be already looking to the future and wondering if this was a lucky dance while what happened is still so raw and present in my mind. Sad today especially tonight as this was when I was really, physically feeling the loss occurring, exactly a week ago. I'd be 5 weeks 2 days.

[LysnDan]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling sad. Give yourself time to grieve. It may take a while, you might always think about the what ifs.

I know I keep thinking about how far along id be and stuff like that. It's not easy. Praying you get your sticky bubba soon x

[Ladylove]

Thanks PP. I am really not too bad, it's just like a dull presence in my mind. This sounds awful but I would much rather a loss now than further down the line. My mum and mother in law both had late losses and I don't know how they got through it. But that's life I guess- most of us manage to fumble our way through somehow.

[sahbear]

Just checking in to see how you are going LL, hope you are working through it ok.

[Ladylove]

Hello! Thank you for touching base Sahbear.

I'm not bad at all, I'm just thinking about it a lot. Told the first person outside of this forum (and DH) about what happened and it was nice to physically say 'this happened to me' but at the same time I sort of rushed through the conversation to get it over with. I'm hesitant to spend too much time on it because I still feel guilty for feeling sad at only four and a bit weeks and in case I tell anyone else and they raise an eyebrow if I tell them I was not even 5 weeks. I know I'm allowed to feel sad of course, but I also can't help that other feeling. But I keep thinking to myself, you can create a life, you can mourn a life.

[Ladylove]

Hello again, I have another question if anyone is around and doesn't mind reading

I'm on CD8 of my second cycle since the loss. It's fair to say that despite only being pregnant for 7 days it has influenced my cycles as my first cycle was only 25 days, highly unusual for me, including 7 days of bleeding and spotting (the miscarriage/chem bleed) instead of 4 and weird CM patterns.

Now on CD 8 of cycle two I'm spotting with small traces of EWCM. My period was 5 days and the following three days have involved small amounts of spotting in mucousy CM and today the tiny bit of ewcm. Is this normal? I used to ovulate around cd 16 with ewcm from about cd 11.

I imagine being pregnant for 7 days would set things in motion in my body that might take a little longer to re-set, but most people tell me a 'chemical' pregnancy shouldn't really impede future cycles.

Thanks in advance for any replies, I know my loss is tiny compared to what many others on BB have been through, I'm just confused and annoyed by my body right now.

[Mildez]

Was your last period like it normally is?

[Ladylove]

More or less, just a day longer, a little bit heavier.

[Tigey]

Hello again, I have another question if anyone is around and doesn't mind reading

I'm on CD8 of my second cycle since the loss. It's fair to say that despite only being pregnant for 7 days it has influenced my cycles as my first cycle was only 25 days, highly unusual for me, including 7 days of bleeding and spotting (the miscarriage/chem bleed) instead of 4 and weird CM patterns.[...]I imagine being pregnant for 7 days would set things in motion in my body that might take a little longer to re-set, but most people tell me a 'chemical' pregnancy shouldn't really impede future cycles.

Following our CP (see sig), my wife had disrupted cycles like yours for the next 2 months - slightly longer than usual and with heavier bleeding + thicker/weirder CM. As someone who's suffered the grief of a second trimester miscarriage all I can say is "please, please never feel like you have to apologise for grieving". The loss of a life not fully realised and lived out is just that, a loss, and while the later losses were worse for us, all were losses. I don't think anyone here would look down on you for being upset, and caring.

A life is always worth loving. *hug*

As for trying too early... that depends on the two of you, but it sounds like you need a real chat with your husband, if he'll respond well. You guys need to be on the same page now about this loss - because while things may go perfectly for you in future, if they don't, you'll need far more support, care and consideration than has been provided up to this point. I'm far from perfect, and I'd have cancelled my 'fun night with the boys' to let my wife curl up on my chest, cry and have her hair stroked.

One thing to remember is, of course, that an early loss is not a negative sign for future pregnancies, so please don't read any 'prediction' into what I've written. I just want you to have good husbanding from hubby.

[Ladylove]

Thanks Tigey, yep DH has been great since, to be honest I don't think he understood the emotional response I had, he was sad himself that we were no longer pregnant but he is a scientist so I think mentally he was very practical about the earliness of the loss and the biology of it... After I explained how I felt he was perfect.

I'm on my second cycle since it happened, just waiting to fall pregnant again 'to make everything all right'!

Thanks again.

[Ladylove]

What's happened to my lovely 28 day, 12-13 day luteal phase cycles? Last one was 25 and no obvious signs of ovulation, and today AF arrived cd24 after positive OPKs around cd 12 and again cd 14-15.

[LysnDan]

Oh hun I feel your frustration. My body is acting up too after my loss. So unpredictable now.

Huge hugs xx

[Ladylove]

I'm off to see my GP next week, i might need to see if this chemical preg upset things too much, I'm thinking 7 days of hcg showing up on a hpt was enough to mess things up for a while... and a TCM practitioner for some advice and maybe some acupuncture. I'm also turning 33 this year, no time to waste!

[Ladylove]

Hello all,

I thought I might update my story here, in case anyone comes across this thread one day having been through a similar scenario.

The two cycles following this loss were 24 and 25 days, much shorter than my previously clockwork 28-29 days. My luteal phase is only about 12 days so a shorter cycle even by a few days, had I of ovulated, would have resulted in a very short LP.

My GP, who is also my fertility specialist, said that seven-eight days of clear positive pregnancy tests meant I had experienced a very early miscarriage rather than a chemical pregnancy. This is because the egg had definitely implanted (not a failed implantation) as my body was giving off hgc for a good week which she said was enough for my body to gear itself for baby growing and as a result, though an early loss, the rise then crash of hormones was enough to put my hormones and subsequent cycles into a tail spin.

I know it's all about interpretation and semantics but having my FS confirm a miscarriage not a chemical oddly helped me to heal. I felt validated in my grief.

I didn't ovulate for those two cycles but my day 5 and 21 bloods on the third cycle confirmed my baseline hormones (cd 5) were at perfect levels and that on cd 21 my progesterone had risen a lot. The only thing amiss was my LH and FSH ratio which was slightly elevated (2.5 when the normal range ends at 2). But this was not a surprise to either of us because way back in the day when I was a LTTCer ( a journey that resulted in the surprise natural conception of 17 month old DD), we found that I possibly had PCO but not PCOS as I had a lot of follies on both ovaries but it was just one or two less than the amount on that medical scale that determines a PCO diagnosis. But that is another story!

I think part of my distress was informed by my journey TCCing DD and it brought a lot of the anguish from that period to the fore. She was 19 months, maybe more - I cannot remember when we started TCCing, in the making. It was a long and confusing and heartbreaking journey as I know many other longer term TCCers would be aware of. Wanting a baby and feeling like you are less human because you cannot create the most essential of human creations – another life.

But anyway, this month I also had a clearly positive OPK (as I did with the lost pregnancy). It seems as though I ovulated two days earlier than usual. I know polycystic ovaries can interfere with OPK readings and I always have a second line on my OPKS but they are never close to the control line so when they do turn as dark/darker I know things are about to happen!

And now at 12dpo on the third month it seems I am pregnant again! I am frightened and hyper emotional but two special girls gave me good advice – Carly said to enjoy the moment and TickToc told me to rub my belly and say ‘hello baby’!

I do not know how big of a journey this little hatchling will have but I do feel more confident. Maybe it is the hormones talking but I had a deep subconscious sense, with the last pregnancy, that something was not quite right with the little life. I remember a friend announcing a pregnancy and even though I was in very early pregnancy myself I felt sad and wished that I could share her journey. There was nothing to indicate that this pregnancy would miscarry but I think I knew. I have no such thoughts this time and maybe I will be wrong but only time will tell.