Need some advice

[maz]

One of my closest friends gave birth to a beautiful sleeping baby boy on mothers day 9 years ago this year.

We talk about him still and I see the pain in her face from time to time. Many of our friends dont want to hear about him and I know they wouldnt join in on this so it would be just us.

I really wanted to do something nice this year. I was thinking of taking her out to his final resting place, with a small brithday cake and some balloon's so we could wish him a happy birthday. We'd sing to him, have a cuppa and cake and then release the balloon's together. I havent mentioned anything to her...J man and I thought we could all go out together, kids and all (she has 2 other children) and it would be like a birthday party for him and then he said maybe justher and I should go out alone so she could have a good cry and let go some of the sadness without worrying about the other kids seeing.

I dont want her to be upset but I want to show her that he is still alive in our hearts and wont be forgotten either. Do you think im overstepping at all? I really dont want to hurt her.

Your thoughts good or bad will be taken on baord

thanks so much

[Spring Angel]

If one of my friends offered to do that for me I would feel so touched to know that my boy meant that much to you and was remembered.

I tend to think it would be better if it were just you and her as opposed to the kids also. The thing is though that everyone grieves in different ways and you know her best.

HTH
Spring

[Tanya]

Maz, I was at our local SANDS group last week (ask her if she would like to come some time I can give you the details if you like) and one of the women said after her son died a close friend of hers would come around every year with a little something to commemorate his birth. She said that this really didn't help her deal with things.

However, everyone is different and your friend may appreciate it, I think the only way of knowing would be to ask if you can do something with her.

You are a fantastic friend.
xx

[feeb]

That sounds so sweet.

Maybe ask her if she would prefer just you or do have a little party with kids also.

You are a lovely caring friend to think of this.

xoxo

[maz]

thanks girls, means alot to hear your thoughts

I know she will love it cause she finds it hard still to talk about him but im worried about taking the kids there.

I think I might just do the 2 of us and not tell her, just pick her up in my car and drive her there and do it.

thank you all so much again

[Willow]

You know her best Maz. If she is the sort of person who is open to it, I think it's a lovely idea. I agree, just you and her would be best.

My only hesitation is that some people prefer to grieve in private, I know I do. But it sounds as though you're sure she will appreciate it.

You're a good friend.

[Boo Boo]

You are gorgeous Maz, what a beautiful thought. I tend to think just the two of you then if she wants to have a good cry then she can really let go and not worry about upsetting her other two kids. How wonderful she has you in her life to acknowledge and remember her beautiful sleeping baby boy and be open to grieve and share her feelings with you.

Laurin x

[diannescruffy]

Maz, you are a beautiful friend. If I had a friend that did this for me I would be truly blessed it would mean so much. For me personally I would prefer going to his resting place without the children but a little something maybe at home afterwards would be nice.

Regards,
Dianne