Hi Oouie,

Im so sorry about your baby. The loss of a child is the hardest thing to go through in life i think.

I think that it was very brave of you to visit your neices. Seeing babies is something that i find particularly hard so well done for doing this. I think that this shows more strength than you realise.

To be honest i have had a few moments with my work mates that i showed lots and lots of emotions over the death of my daughter Katelyn. I dont think that you need to be embarrased even though people dont totally understand how you are feeling they still "feel" for you being in this situation.

The best advice that i have had through all this is to just let yourself feel whatever you feel at the time. What i mean is if you feel sad then let yourself be sad, if you feel happy then that is very ok too. Dont try to make yourself be strong. You have been through a terrible ordeal and nobody who really knows what you have been through (all the girls on this site) wont expect you to get over the loss of your baby in 5 minutes.

Nobody can tell you how long that you are going to feel all the emotions of greiving for your baby. Its a very individual experience and the time it takes you is perfectly ok. It has been over three months since i gave birth to Katelyn and i still feel Sad, Angry and confused every day. But that is me now and i am learning to deal with everything. I also have happy times where i can laugh and smile and not feel guilty. Our little angels wouldnt want us to be sad. That i am sure of.

Well i hope that you are feeling a little better this afternoon. The only other thing that i can say is follow your heart and let each minute come with what it brings.

As far as talking to someone, i have spoken with both a contact from Sids and Kids and the chaplain from the hospital who was with us after Katelyn was born. I have found both these ladies to be absolutely amazing and i can highly recommend contacting Sids and Kids if you feel that you need some more support. You need to do whatever gets you through this.

I will chat to you again soon if you like.

Love Sarah