I had a friend that I let go after the loss of my first daugher Dory - so I can empathise.

I had been up until then someone who was always available to help. I didn't say no. This friend had been in my life for a long time. We knew each other when I was in my late teens. We had been close friends for years.
She had turned up on my doorstep with 2 kids in tow whenI was still pregnant. She said her new husband of 2 months was abusing her. Of course I took her and her kids in. Two days later she returned to work & I was left to look after her two kids and my four. This went on for about 4 weeks until I said she needed to call her parents as I couldnt' keep doing this... She didn't like that at all - I called her Dad & then I had him here as well for a week whilst he helped her sort out AVO's etc..

Anyway I just felt really overwhelmed with all of her issues -she was hysterical when she wasn't working, crying, smoking, her kids were distraught & I was trying my best to support them. It was hellish.

About 2 days after she left I discovered my baby had died & went to hospy for a D & C... When I got home there was a message on my machine telling me I was being selfish for not picking up the phone when she needed me etc etc etc.

I realised that our relationship wasn't balanced. She is a woman who constantly gets herself in a pickle & I was always bailing her out.
I replied to that message with an email explaining why I was so selfish.
I haven't heard from her since.
She ended up back with that husband - now she is divorced from him and separated from the next partner.

Some people you do have to let go. I found that hard as I always try and make it work - always try to see the other perspective. However, the friendship drained me - it didn't sustain me at all..
That was sad & confronting. I think we grow to know how short life is when we are confronted with death - that is the gift of our Goodbye Babies. We know that life is too short to dally around with negativity and those that drag us down...

I hope you can feel okay with whatever your decision is with this friend. I do understand how hard it is...