forshelby - i had a similar experience but not quite the same - i knew i was going to lose my baby (ivf pregnancy) but had to wait for it to happen - i couldn't stay at home as it was just doing my head in, so i chose to go to work. i told my direct supervisor what was happening, and he was a pig about it. he was just rude and i was disgusted with him. i left and went home. the next time it happened, i again chose to work, and was told i had to go to an offsite meeting on MY LUNCH BREAK - which, given i was in pain and bleeding, i didn't want to do. i told him i wouldn't be going - he told me i had no choice - ummm YES I DO - my lunch is unpaid - it's MY time! anyway, he pushed further so i told him what was happening (after the first incident, i'd sworn he wouldn't know) and he told me if i could be at work, i could walk to the venue for the meeting - if i didn't go, i would have to take the afternoon off as sick leave - so i swore at him and left on sick leave!

i was called into a meeting with our site supervisor when i returned to work and he asked what had happened (apparently swearing at your boss is bad...) - when i told him, he was appalled. the following week i had a new supervisor and was a much happier person all round.

there is nothing you can do to change what has been. you have started to work through the pain and anger now, and you will continue to work through it. don't let anger at the woman cloud your grief though - all that does it hurt you more. what has happened has happened. if the unthinkable occurs and this happens again, you will be able to face it differently - you're new sipervisor sounds like he is much better. i just hope you never face this again

as to the "it wasn't planned" sentiment - i just want to say WHO CARES?!?! many MANY pregnancies are unplanned - that doesn't mean that the baby is unloved. that doesn't mean you don't bond with that little blob from the moment you suspect it exists!

hugs hun - you've done a great thing reaching out and spilling this - the only way to work through grief and anger is to find a way to process it - this is your first step.

BG