Scrap everything I have said. Now my dp says he doesn't see himself wanting kids ever, but that if I fall pregnant he wouldn't ask me to terminate. Pardon my french, but WTF? The only way I will get pg is if we are trying.... and that can't happen as long as he says no. Why is he playing these games with me? He keeps changing his story. No, maybe, in 6 months, let's try now, and back to NEVER. I am so upset and angry.... I've waited 2 years, been with him almost 3 and now this? It appears I may have to walk away from a man I love dearly because he's far too busy thinking of himself to even consider my views on parenthood. For every positive view I bring to him, he has a way to shoot it down with his negative attitude. He's told me not to discuss it with him 'for a while' now. I don't want to wait quietly until it's almost too late. What am I meant to do? I am devastated, but can't even say so because if I cry then he'll be angry with me. I feel so broken. Don't know where to turn or which of his answers to believe. He says no, never, but if it happens (no idea how when I'm on bcp) he'll be excited. Games! Sick of it.
I am just wondering if he is saying this to protect himself? It's such a scarey thing putting yourself back out there to conceive again... maybe he's just not ready yet?
Sometimes boys just aren't very good at explaining themselves.
Maybe he just needs a little time. I realise that it may be hard for you to understand but as someone who has been in a position where their DH said "enough" and wouldn't discuss the topic for months on end he probably just isn't expressing himself very well.
I don't know your personal circumstances but I can guess, given where this is being posted. Please try to remember that people grieve loss differently, and it is harder to understand other people's grieving process if it doesn't fit the same timeframe as your own.
Maybe give him a little bit of time and try to put TTCing out of your mind (and out of the topics for discussion) for a little while and give him some space to come around to the idea again.
the rollercoaster continues
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No advice but lots of support. That is not an easy situation to be in.
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