Hi Tegam
Really feeling for you.

But i dont think its over yet. Your DH had a big scare. Men are meant to put the health of their wives above their children, (and women put the children above everything). Remember that he is doing this out of instinct and love. My DH was so worried about me after my ectopic, I got mad at him for not greiving the life we'd lost. He does still want kids so badly but he is so scared to try again in case something else happens to me.

Hmm, I just wrote the bit below and then realised it's a bit opinionated and preachy. Sorry about that, I do tend to get a bit that way. But I promise it's written with love. I hope it helps a little but feel free to ignore it!

It's got to be an ongoing discussion. As he recovers from the scare and as you move along your greiving process, keep talking. It may be that your desire, while intensely strong now, might be overtaken by practicalities. But it may also be that your desire stays strong and your DH will see that another child is what you need to make you happy and his desire to make you happy will overtake his need to keep you safe.

I know you feel you're running out of time, but i think that a few months extra between your kids is worth it to make sure you're really happy with your decision. And I guess that will be one of the practicalities you've got to weigh up as you talk it out.

And through it all, if nothing else, it will be an exercise in open, honest communication and (hopefully not too much) conflict resolution. Which can only make you stronger. It's important to approach the decision as a team, both thrying to figure out what's best for your family, not as two sides fighting for their way.

But for now, lots of big hugs cos I know it's so so hard and you must be emotionally raw right now.