Supporting my best friend

[Frangipani Lou]

My best friend had a missed miscarriage this week. She had a scan and their was no heartbeat. Bubs died at 8 1/2 weeks and she was 10 1/2 weeks pg.
I took a bunch of Lillies, a teddy, wine, chocolates and a card over to her place when she was in hospital having the D&C and went to visit her today with DD(5months). I asked her if it was difficult seeing me with DD and she agrees it was and that lots of things will be hard. She may also not be able to have children because of issues with fibroids.
The thing is I feel so guilty that I have what I want. A beautiful daughter, a fantastic partner etc and I felt uncomfortable that it was right in her face when I went to visit today. I let her know that it's possible to see me without DD, just to let me know.
How do I manage this situation? What should I do?

[Teeki]

I'm so sorry for your friend And for you.

I haven't been in her position, but I've worried about it. I really think each person would be different and you should be led by her. If it were me, I wouldn't want to be treated differently. I wouldn't want people to stop seeing me, or to hide their babies from me. I can imagine wanting to hold their babies more, and just appreciate their gorgeous little lives.

[BellyBelly]

What to say and how to support someone who's had a miscarriage:

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/health...to-say-support

Lots of great ideas here.

[Frangipani Lou]

Thanks Kelly, the article was a great support when I first found out the sad news this week.
I guess Im after some ideas about how to manage the challenge of my guilt etc.

[Melster]

Thats very caring of you

She may go through some different emotions and she may act differently for a while, i know with myself i struggled to see pregnant woman especially my cousin who was pregnant at the same time and i found it hard when she was born. I also had to go to a baby shower which i struggled with but went anyways. When i got pregnant again which was 4 months later some of my grief went away.

If she might have to struggle with fertility as well it may be extremely hard for her. Try not to take anything personally, even if she lashes out its just the grief.....just be there for her when she needs you, and just let her know that you're there like you have done and just like you have offered to go own you're own. Youre doing all the right things

[Sunny Love]

I think acknowledging her experience and her emotions is the best place to start and continue on from.
Opening up safe communication for her, and her feeling loved and supported is pivotal.
Just be yourself, love your friend and go with the flow of tears and smiles
You've done a great job this far