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Thread: There's a cloudy storm front approaching ...

  1. #19

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    Michelle, what a beautiful tribute to your precious daughter. Your love for her is so clear to see and I am sure that she felt it in the 25 weeks that she had with you.

    It sounds like you had a special day yesterday...I hope you are feeling some peace today, having reached such an important milestone.




  2. #20

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  3. #21

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    Michelle
    sorry I missed Caitlyn's anniversary.I know anything I say is inadequate about it being bittersweet - sad and a day when we remember with love and the good memories and all we looked forward to sharing with them too.
    But I was thinking of you ... I saw this post title but never looked at it.

    The way you wrote your feelings- I couldn't have agreed more - we will never forget

    Loving memories of one so dear,
    Treasured still with a love sincere,
    In our hearts she is living yet,
    We loved her too dearly to forget
    today is 2yrs,2months and 2 days since Charlotte grew her wings and I still miss and think about her every day.

    Dear Mom

    I know this is a rough time for you.
    So I will be as gentle as I can be.
    First of all, thank you for so many tears,
    particularly those shared with another that you love.
    They are a gift to me, a precious tribute to your investment in me.
    As you do your mourning, do it at your pace only.
    Don't let anybody suggest that you do your grief work on their timetable.

    Do whatever it takes to face directly
    the reality of what has happened,
    even though you may need to pause frequently
    and yearn for my return.

    Do this with courage and my blessing.
    Know that sometimes inertia is the only movement
    possible. Give your best to
    keeping a balance
    between remembering me
    and renewing your commitments to life.

    It's okay with me if you go through minutes, hours
    and even days not thinking about me.

    I know that you'll never forget.
    Loosening me and grabbing hold of a new meaning
    is a delicate art.
    I am not sure if one comes before the other or not, maybe it's a combination.

    Be with people who accept you as you are.
    Mention my name out loud,
    and if they don't make a hasty retreat,
    they're probably excellent candidates for
    friendship.

    If, by a remote possibility, you think that there is anything
    that you could have done for me and didn't.
    I forgive you, as our Lord does.
    Resentment does not abide here, only love.

    You know how people sometimes ask you
    how many children you have?
    Well, I am still yours and you are still my parents.

    Always acknowledge that with tenderness, unless to
    do so would fall on
    insensitive ears or would be painful to you.

    I know how you feel inside.
    Read, even though your tears anoint the page.
    There is an immense library here and I have a card.
    In Henri Nowens' "Out of Solitude", he writes,

    "The friend who can be silent with us
    in a moment of despair and confusion,
    who can stay with us in an hour of grief and
    bereavement,
    who can tolerate not healing,
    and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
    that is a friend who cares."

    Mom, I don't know where you are spiritually now,
    but rest assured that our God is not gone.
    The still small voice you hear in your heart is His
    voice.
    The warmth that sometimes enfolds you is Him.
    The tears that tremble just beneath your heartbeat
    is Him.
    He is in you, as I am.

    I want you both to know that I am okay
    and I have sent you messages to ease your pain,
    they come in the form of flowers that bloom out of
    season,
    birds singing, voices and visions and sometimes
    through your friends and even
    strangers who volunteer as angels.

    Stay open but don't expect the overly dramatic.
    You will get what you need and it may be simply an
    internal peace.
    You are not crazy, you have been comforted.
    Please seek out people bereaved longer than you.
    They are tellers of truth, and if they have done
    their work,
    are an inspiration and a beacon of hope
    whose pain lessened dramatically
    and one more wisdom before we close.

    There are still funny happenings in our world.
    It delights me to no end when I hear
    your spontaneous, uncontrolled laughter.
    That, too, will come in due time.
    Today, I light a candle for you.
    Joined with your candle, let their light shine
    above the darkness
    (author unknown)

  4. #22

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    Trish - that was just beautiful and I think I needed it today more than ever The sky has cleared, but Caitlyn will always be a part of my world.

    Now my biggest struggle is how to get through this pregnancy without the fear and trepidation taking over.

  5. #23

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    Michelle, Trish that was just utterly beautiful.

    The strength you display as women and mothers never ceases to amaze me.

    Michelle, you will get through this pregnancy and we are all here holding your hand along the way.

  6. #24

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    Thanks Willow I need you girls now more than ever. The past few weeks have been difficult but the fear seems to be increasing. I knew a new pregnancy would be a challenge but there are days when I don't know how I will make it through these next few weeks sane.

    I guess it is just one day at a time.

  7. #25

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    Michelle, one day at a time, one hour at a time if that's what it takes.

    I am so focused on trying to fall prg at the moment that most of the time I put thoughts of that fear aside. But I have no doubt that if (when!) I do fall prg again I will feel exactly the same.

    I have to admit that every month I am not prg there is a tiny shred of relief in there amongst the despair because I have nothing to be scared of, nothing to fear for another month.

    ((Hugs)) sweetie.

    Man, I want my **** emoticons back!!!

  8. #26

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    Michelle, I am also a little late - you wrote that so beautifully and while I have only read it today you & Caitlyn are in my thoughts.

    Mel

  9. #27

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    Thank you Mel I hope you are doing OK at the moment too. The first few months are the hardest, and even then you still have days .....

  10. #28

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    Hi Michelle, we are at the same stage in our pregnancies, and i will most def be here if you need to talk.... i have never lost one but i know how i would feel - how i am feeling about the possibility of it happening.....

    BIG TO YOU AND YOUR LITTLE ONE FROM ME AND MY LITTLE ONE.

  11. #29
    kirsty Guest

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    Michelle sweets we are always here to support you however we can while you travel this path. It will often be rocky & you will often feel like you are not sure of the outcome but unfortunately there is nothing I can say that will take that feeling away for you but please know I am here if you ever need someone to vent to (I found it unbelieveablely helpful when pg with Thomas to help get me through the difficult times I had).

    Big hugs to you

  12. #30
    3 princesses Guest

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    Hugest hugs to you Michelle xo

  13. #31

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    That was so beutiful - thinking of you.

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