Well, never thought i'd find myself in here but here i am. i'm 10 weeks and found out yesterday that bubba stopped growing at 6w2d. i have some light bleeding and the odd cramp. saw my ob today who has left the decision up to me, but i'm really not sure what to do. she only does d&c's on thursdays, which means i either go in tomorrow or wait another week and see what happens.
i would rather let nature take it's course, but at the same time would like to know that it is over with and can start moving on.
i've just rang them to say i'm undecided and so will leave it to next week, but i'm still not sure i've done the right thing.
how do you know what the right thing to do is? just how do you know that?
:hugs: hun,
So sorry for your loss. I found out on a tuesday afternoon that my pregnancy had stopped. I was 11weeks, so close to that 12week mark like you! DH got back in the country on the wednesday afternoon (was Overseas when i had to tell him) and I had the D &C on thursday afternoon. I just did as the OB said, thinking back, given the choice, would i have waited a week to do the D &C im not sure but after it i wish that i had waited. I would have liked to give my body the chance to end it naturally, with the thought that this would be better for TTC the next time. The week would give your body its chance and your mind a chance to "deal" with whats going on. On the other hand a week wait could feel like a life time if you are ready to move to the next stage of grief. There is no right answer, what does your partner feel. I know my DH was happy that "that" part was over quickly. I was a complete mess about my m/c for a long time....
What ever you do will be the right for you as you can only make the decision with the information we have at the time.
Just a quick thought as i am a nurse and know how hospitals work. If you are really undecided maybe get yourself on the theartre list and then you can always get someone to cancel for you tomorrow. You dont want to change your mind overnight and then be told no tomorrow!
about an hour after i rang my ob, they rang back to say that if i change my mind overnight, then i can still go in tomorrow morning as they have room.
we've had similar stories, so thankyou for sharing. my dh is thinking more to wait the week, but is leaving it up to me.
can you tell me why it's better for ttc? i'm very confused with all the info out there. and you're feelings of wishing you'd waited?
if it's too personal, i understand, but i am just so confused at the moment. i want to let my body do it's job but i don't know that i can handle the waiting, but at the same time a d&c feels so final and i feel i'd like to hang onto bubs for as long as i can - even though i know it's gone.
Hi hun - so sorry for your loss. I can only share my experience and hope something in it helps you decide
I found out at nearly 13w bubs had became an angel around 11w - the medical advice I was given was that i could wait, but given it had occurred 2 weeks earlier, when it is possible to have a haemorrahage etc and if it hadnt happened after another week I would have to have the D & C done anyway, and for me, I found it hard enough to think overnight (yes 1 night) that I had an angel baby inside me - sorry to sound so harsh, but no other way to say it
I wanted to have it done so we could grieve and be on the road ttc again quickly.
With the ttc issue - i think cos mainly your uterus has been cleaned - whereas natural clots might continue for some time and if anything is retained could cause infection etc. But I have also had a natural m/c at 7wks and all was fine.
We waited 2 cycles and then TTC and Zander was conceived straight away.
Jules, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry about the loss of your little one. As you can see the community of women going through what you are is large, ever growing and ever supportive
My own story - I found out I had a blighted ovum at 9 weeks in August last year. I booked in for the D & C the next day as for me I felt like i needed to get it over and done with. The psychological trauma never leaves but i felt as though I could get the physical trauma over with quickly.
My body recovered quickly and i got pregnant again quite soon.
What Sami said is correct, the uterus being cleaned via D & C is like having a spring clean and makes your uterus prime for implantation. My ob said there is no waiting period for ttc after miscarriage with d & c - whenever you are ready.
Good luck with your decision and your journey Jules
bridget x
Last edited by Sanchez; April 15th, 2009 at 09:00 PM.
Jules, I know what you are going through. In Jan this year I went for my 12 week scan only to discover the baby died at 8 weeks. I was given the option to let it pass naturally or have a D&C. I chose to have a D&C becasue I was scared of what I would see if I let it go naturally. I had it done the following week. I got my period about 6 weeks later then fell pregnant that next cycle and am now 8 weeks.
My GP told me that they used to always sent woman in for a D&C becasue of risk of infection but they have now discovered it is better to leave it as it will reabsorb at such an early stage. Even after this info I would still choose a D&C.
I think by having D&C it 'cleans' you out making fertalisation easier and gives you a regular cycle. That is my understanding, it may not be true.
The descision is totally yours, good luck with making this decision. With an early loss, you will more than likely have a suction curette rather than a sharp curette, so is less gentle. You are in surgery for about 10 mins and asleep for about 20 mins.
Wait or D&C? how do you make that decision?
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