Thanks all for your replies.

I felt the same way in regards to wanting people to acknowledge that I had even had a baby, rather than just a 'sympathy' thing.

I'm thinking for the flowers from the work team I will purchase a nice blank card and write something like "Congratulations on the birth of X. Words cannot express how sad we are she could not stay. You and (DH) are in our thoughts and prayers". I like Tash your idea about the brighter flowers so will run that by the girls at work. Maybe a teddy? Plant? balloon? hmmm...I really don't know.