What to say to a grieving family?

[NaeNae]

While I like the idea of people saying "Congratulations on the birth of your baby, sorry s/he couldn't stay" I am going to go against the grain a little and say the word congratulations doesn't seem appropriate to me .... that is JUST my opinion though having never experienced giving birth to a forever sleeping baby.

I am not sure what the appropriate thing to say would be, other than how deeply sorry you were to hear of the loss of their son/daughter. Anything really heartfelt will sound sincere especially coming from a very close team.

If the ladies here who have been through the heartache of giving birth to a sleeping baby say yes to using the word congratulations then do that, I have never been in their shoes so do not know what the right things to say are

Nae x x

[delphmoon]

While I like the idea of people saying "Congratulations on the birth of your baby, sorry s/he couldn't stay" I am going to go against the grain a little and say the word congratulations doesn't seem appropriate to me .... that is JUST my opinion though having never experienced giving birth to a forever sleeping baby.

I am not sure what the appropriate thing to say would be, other than how deeply sorry you were to hear of the loss of their son/daughter. Anything really heartfelt will sound sincere especially coming from a very close team.

If the ladies here who have been through the heartache of giving birth to a sleeping baby say yes to using the word congratulations then do that, I have never been in their shoes so do not know what the right things to say are

Nae x x

Yes Nae, I completely understand what you are saying- the word congratulations isn't 'right' maybe? I can't remember feeling one way or another about it

Also Tash- I am the only pg one at work and I won't be attending and I think the kids thing is a parental choice thing maybe- gosh I don't know

[LionsandBears]

That's why you run it by the family first. Everyone is different. It was important to me that my friends came, pregnant or not. They asked first if it was OK. I just wanted their support. The only kids we had at DS1's funeral were my niece and nephew. My brother decided not to bring them to DS2's funeral because my niece was a mess at having lost 2 cousins so close together

Anyway, I think the card and flowers are a nice idea. Teddies are nice too. I still cling to the teddies we have for our boys. I'm not sure about a balloon though. Other items that we received include Willow figurines, an olive plant, roses. Don't bombard them with stuff though.

It's a tough one, but it's good you're doing something. If you're not sure about adding items, leave them out. It's the card and the real life support that matter the most.

I agree with Skybie - saying the baby's name is really important.