will i ever.....

[crumpet]

so as some of u will know, we lost our DS at 22w due to incompetant cervix in jan last year....

ive been going to councelling and have been doing great, been able to mention his name, have a small conversation about what happened without ending up a hysterical mess, not crying at the drop of a hat....

then today i discovered DH is making a special box to put all of our DS's things in, including his ashes which he has wanted to do for a long time....

ive been feeling a lot more confident about things recently and even today so i thought id have a look at our pics of DS again...
not the best idea ive had....

i just want to be able to look at them and not end up a husterical sobbing mess, not feel like my heart is being ripped into 400 million pieces all over again

am i ever going to be able to do that???

[Blixie]

i can't imagine what you're going through, but couldn't read and run. Just wanted to offer you heaps of

[skybie]

I hope so hunny. i really really do

[Charlotte91]

Oh crumpet....

Please feel free to talk to me about it. I'm here for you honey. I wish I could say more.

[TeniBear]

I hope so hunny. i really really do

Me too You'll get there honey - just go at your own pace


---
- Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

[LionsandBears]

Yes, over time

Would it help to have some photos in frames around the house? I find having a couple around mean they are a normal part of our lives. It's when I look at the ones on the computer or the ones the professional did for us with DS1 that I turn into a mess. There's nothing wrong with crying darl. He's your beautiful little boy and you miss him

[Marley&Me]

couldn't read and not post, my heart is breaking for you and I hope in time you will be able to.

[Yas]

I'm so sorry Hun. Massive xxxxx

[diannescruffy]

hun, I went through exactly what your're going through now with Emmanuel. In the first three years I opened his memory box 3 times I think, it was just too hard to look at photos and touch his clothes even though I wanted to so badly. Now I can hold his photo, smile at him and he always gets a kiss too. In time hun I really hope you will be able to feel this way too xxx.

Regards,
Dianne

[Eenee]

[mummytotwo]

sending you hugs & strength x

[crumpet]

thank you all for ur 's and replies....

am feeling a lot better this morning, bit fragile still but thats cool

[New Dawn]

Hun I have no words but huge Hugs is you ever need them

[Tegam]

you dont have to be strong all the time!

[*EJ*]

I hope you can find a place where thinking of your son doesn't hurt so much. Big hugs to you and your family xoxo

[crumpet]

thanks girls

feeling back to normal again...... think it was a let out i needed to have

[Miss.B]

Oh honey, big hugs to you my friend . I have a big round box that I keep most of Josh's things in. I have a small picture album with all his photos, u/s images, and when I feel like I need him close by I have a look at it. I always end up shedding a tear, but it lets me feel really close to my darling ngel. I also have 2 pictures in the house of him and I look at him every day. The only thing I can't bear to look at, and I don't know if I will ever be able to do it, is to look at his u/s DVDs. I have 2 which are at the bottom of the box, but every time I look at them I just can't bring myself to watch him kicking and moving on the screen. I have seen a psychologist for almost 2 years and even she couldn't get me to have a look at them.
It does get easier hun, with time.

[NaeNae]

3 years on hun and I still have problems going through the box with my little ones "things" in it. We do have a few lovely photo's of her around the house and have only recently moved her Urn into the lounge and well out of DD reach which was very very difficult.

I can talk about her and what happened with little more than A tear now but it wasn't always the case, some days still catch me completely off guard.

I think it comes back to "there is no right way or timeframe" when it comes to dealing with grief. I found the sooner I accepted that and just rode the ride without expectation of myself or others the better it became ITMS.

love and hugs to you hun x x x