thread: Just have to get this off my chest..

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Sydney
    1,413

    Just have to get this off my chest..

    I have been thinking about my angel baby alot lately (as was recently the second EDD) and was thinking about the D&C as BB Kelly asked for answers on what women who have had a miscarriage hate people saying

    anyways when I woke up after my D&C (10 weeks) the nurse who was with me in recovery was really very awful. I was crying and saying "I miss my baby, I just want my baby back" all things I am sure are pretty common.

    She said to me:
    "don't worry about it, miscarriage is very common, your young you'll have more children".

    ahhh, just had to ge that out - How would she know if I could or couldn't have more kids. It has nothing to do with age - She had no idea that I had struggled to get pregnant in the first place so who knew if I'd be able to have more? All I wanted was THAT baby that was gone, not another.

    All she needed to say was "I am sorry you lost you baby, you have every right to feel sad and miss him/her.

    Thanks for listening!

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Central Coast NSW
    2,160

    I'm so sorry that nurse was so cruel and I know just what you mean about wanting your baby back. It's something I still cry about a lot. Nothing can replace your angel and the hopes and dreams you had for him/her.

    In my experience, even falling pregnant again doesn't reduce the yearning for my angel I'll always have a "gap" where my Jellybean should have been. I'm so sorry you lost your precious baby

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    7,177

    She really had no clue! That's an awful thing to say to someone, I'm so sorry those were the words you received when all you were seeking was comfort I remember waking up from my d&c feeling similar - scared, alone, and missing my baby. Luckily the nurses around me were not as blunt as yours, although they weren't particularly comforting either. All anyone in that situation wants to hear is, 'I am so sorry.'

    Huge hugs

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    In a house, on a hill with a big fat welcome mat!
    6,772

    That is terrible I am so sorry. After my recent m/c where I ended up in hospy, the nurses in emergency (there were 2 on -small town hospy) came up to me after the ob confirmed my m/c via u/s and hugged me, told how sorry they were and offered me some information booklets and a counsellor. I feel so lucky.

    I am sorry you lost your baby and had that experience

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    807

    Oh wow that is awful! When my SIL misscarried she had a horrid nurse to, after crying to hold her bub (eptopic at 12weeks) she was told it wasn't even a baby it was a... (whatever the medical name is). People can be so cruel.

    I'm really sorry for your loss, your baby was just to beautiful for us to see

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A Pirate Ship
    3,627

    I'm sorry you lost you baby I think the things that are said by those so called professional must effect that little bit deeper. When I had a D&C after we found out we lost our bub at the 12 week scan (the one I lost in your Belly Buddy Group) the anethetist (sp) at the hospital said to me right before I got on the table "people should only be having 1 or 2 kids anyway, the world population is growing too fast and there are already too many people living on the planet" As you can imagine I was shattered and wanted to scream at him. If I wasn't already so fragile I would have.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Melbourne
    4,895

    This makes me cry. It is so insensitive of some people just to blurt out whatever they think. You know sometimes just a hug or a pat on the arm is enough rather than say some random awful, almost judging comments. I'm sorry for your loss.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jan 2011
    Perth, WA
    1,245

    I am sorry you lost your little angel and that you had such a heartless, thoughtless nurse
    When I m/c the doctor did an u/s and turned to me and told me that my body had done a good job of getting rid of it...IT was my baby she was cold and unemotional.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    Hugs xoxoxox

  10. #10
    Registered User
    Add EsJay on Facebook

    Jan 2009
    Hunter Valley
    609

    oh ery thats terribly thoughtless. hugs to you hun

  11. #11

    Mar 2008
    Where dreams are now reality
    2,318

    ery I know your pain (we have angels a few weeks apart too) and they feeling of not even being sure you will ever have another baby let alone never having the child you long for is unfair. I am so sorry that you came up against such an uncaring and non compassionate woman

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    954

    Im sorry for your loss. The nurse said a similar thing to me, but I was lucky because my lovely Obs was so caring and compassionate. Why arent we allowed to cry for and miss our babies who were lost? Why do we have to focus on the next pg (which in some cases might not come for a very long time)? I agree with you Ebery, those very comments you mentioned were what hurt the most.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Aug 2010
    Gold Coast
    965

    Im sorry you had such a horrible experience with the nurse hun As if the mc didn't hurt enough! I have had a few horrible comments about my mc's as well, it really hurts Just wanted to give you a Good luck with clomid sweetheart, hopefully it'll do the trick very soon! xxxxxxx

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    2,251

    How awful! They really need to do some training on how to be compassionate! I'm sorry you had to go through that hun, hugs

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brisbane
    5,039

    Like any baby can just be replaced

    I am so sorry you had to hear those words on top of everything else you were dealing with!

    Good on you for getting it off your chest!