I hope you get some answers soon because that does sound strange.

I feel the same way you do, that my body has failed me. I now have more angels than babies and it breaks my heart. I get HG too with my pgs so I understand where you are coming from. It would be very difficult for you to cope with such a small baby and being so ill. Your emotions seem totally rational to me, so dont feel guilty at all.

Thinking of you.