ok, we sorta have #1 down pat, there are the occasional accidents (more likely to happen at daycare than at home). J goes to Family Day Care, with a lady in our street.
We are having issues with #2. He wont tell you that he needs to do it. He just does his thing (play, read etc) and when he's doing it, he'll stand really still. But by the time you see that, it's all over.
The FDC lady scolds him and tells him he's naughty and puts him on the naughty spot
He's not naughty, he just doesn't have all under control yet.
I just stand him in front of me, get down to his level, look him in the eye and tell him that he has to tell Mummy when he needs to do a poo, coz poo goes in the toilet.
J even told dh that the other night when he did 2 in the bath tub! (dh cleaned it up, then had the same chat that I have with him, and then J did it again! Musta needed to go!)
I want to start a sticker chart, and reward with Marshmallows after so many stickers. I know marshmallows are sweets, but he LOVES them and would do just about anything for them. And they're only a treat for him anyway. I can't keep buying matchbox cars for each poo, that would cost me a fortune! They can be when he reaches so many stickers.
So the FDC lady wants me to continue what she does at home. I don't want to. I think that she should follow what I want. Also, she wants me to supply her with pull-ups for when they go out to playgroup etc. Um, no. Thats why I pack him a bag of spare clothes.
I'm just at a loss as to what to do. He's at FDC 3 days a week (and only coz I started uni).
This morning I knew he needed to go and when he was sittting on the toilet, you could see that he needed to to one, but he was acting like he's afraid. He's never been afraid of it before. He demands to use the toilet to do a wee, and he's #2'd in the toilet before.
I just don't know what to do, what to say, what to tell the FDC lady, what to make the sticker chart look like (he'll get one for daycare too), how many stickers to get a marshmallow, how many more stickers to get a car etc.
The sticker chart might be a good idea. Sometimes kids are scared of pooing on the toilet. If you think about it, it would be a bit scary- something coming out of you and splashing into the loo! My DD refuses to poo on the toilet. She will wee on the toilet all day but when it comes to poos she will get a nappy. Which is ok with me for now, we will deal with poos soon. Shes only just been tt for about 5mths. I would just persevere with what you are doing, he will get it eventually. You are dealing with it really well. With family day care, I would insist your carer do what you do. I would not accept that she reprimands him and tells him he's naughty, it's not good practice in my opinion, it will only traumatise him when you want him to feel safe and onfident in going to the toilet, not scared of being belittled. Pooing is such a personal thing. He will get it, I promise! Talk to him about what he's doing. Maybe if you don't mind let him come with you or Dad when you go. Not nice, but it might help! It may just take some time. There are some books you could get to encourage it too, and maybe if yousee he needs to poo, take him to the toilet and read them to him, spend 15 or so mins in there with him and reassure him it's ok. Don't stress about it if he poos in his pants, be matter of fact about it, routine.
Last edited by MrsFabuloso; March 19th, 2010 at 10:29 AM.
Definitely don't let that woman punish him and make him feel bad! That is really poor form and would never be tolerated in a child care setting. It could really set him back and make him afraid to go, causing some real health issues.
She should absolutely be following your lead in all aspects of his care. In all honesty, I would be looking at finding somewhere else if at all possible, or at least contact the FDC people and request their policies on the situation. Then you can use the info to back yourself up. I can't believe she is expecting you to do what SHE wants!
Don't be afraid to tell her the way it must be from now on.
#2
They can be when he reaches so many stickers.
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