thread: 4 year old won't number 2 on the toilet!

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Sydney
    459

    4 year old won't number 2 on the toilet!

    Does anyone have any tips for getting a 4 year old to do number 2's on the toilet? My son took to toilet training easily and was pretty much trained in a couple of days, but he refuses to poo on the toilet and insists on having a nappy on to do it. We have tried lots of encouragement, praising him, bribing him, begging him and even telling him we don't have any nappies - he just held on all day, I could not get him to give in. He has started day care this year and we thought that maybe he would see the other boys doing it and want to copy, but he still won't budge on it - stubborn little bugger. Does antone have any tips or advice??
    TIA

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    North Brisbane
    24

    You are not alone. My eldest was over 4 before he started doing it in the toilet. Like you we tried everything, in the end I allowed him to use the nappy to poo but he had to sit on the potty to do it. Slowly I cut holes in the nappy without him knowing. I started off with a small hole in the back so the poo would fall through - so he would see that it wasn't such a big deal. I never made too much fuss about it, just wow look at that. Each time I made the hole bigger until before long we were just left with the band of the nappy. It took ages to get rid of that band but in the end he would sit on the potty without it, once we got to this stage we finally advanced to the loo, putting toilet paper over the water to ah, avoid the splash.

    LOL I can't believe what we had to do to get him to poo in the toilet. I know exactly how you feel. My DS was still pooing in Nappies when he started Kindy, he just waited till he got home to go.

    Try not to stress, it will all come together (sooner or later)
    Last edited by three4me; March 17th, 2008 at 08:28 PM. : for bad spelling

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Sydney
    459

    Thanks for the suggestions and reassurance three4me. I think it is just good to know he's not the only one. Lol about the holes in the nappy. I might try to get him to sit on the potty in the nappy, that might help. Thanks again

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean
    6,110

    Bribery was my trick! Chocolate frogs worked for my little guy.

    Have you tried a potty? See if you can bribe him to do one one that and take it from there.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    KA, Western Australia
    554

    I cant help with tips or advice but can reassure you that yep its not just your DS and he will poo in the toilet eventually. I worked in childcare before DS was born and it was suprising just how many children boy and girl that would not poo in the toilet, and yes there were quite a few of our kindy aged kids too.

    So have a hug hun he will get there

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    S/West Sydney
    1,794

    WOW, is it great to hear from someone having the same issues- although at least your DS will hold out for nappy... Mine will just poop in his undies all day... He's just over 3 and its driving me INSANE.....

    He's been TT since he was just over 2 #1's easy as but #2's he went ok bout 4 months into the TT... now i'm not sure if its lazyness or something but we can go through 10 pairs of undies in 1 day...

    I tell him to hop on and try and he sits there (after a 10 min struggle to get him on) then its "i cant do it" he gets off and sure enough 10-30 mins later he's pooped his pants... I smell it before he finnishes and make him get on but he "cant do it" again and the whole cycle starts all over again....

    Everyone keeps saying its a boy thing.... i'd love to hear any suggestions...

    We've tryed bribing, praising, cheering when he does the slightest bit on there... even tryed leaving pants off all day but he just goes where ever he is...

    Love the idea of the holes in the nappy but as i said he'll go in undies- not holding on for a nappy....

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean
    6,110

    Jess I had the same problem with Angus! He'd do 10 little skiddy poos in his jocks some days and it drove me mental. I thought it was an attention seeking thing that he started after Caleb was born because he was previously fully TT.
    I'd read him a story while he sat on the potty and if he did a poo there he got a chockie. A few times there I almost put him back in nappies.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Sydney
    459

    Thanks for all of your replies. It is good to know it is not just us, lol. I thought it may have been a problem just we were having. He has actually had a tough couple of years with us first losing a baby and then a newborn in the house and although he has seemingly been taking it all very well, I thought it may have been contributing to his reluctancy to go to the toilet. But it seems like it is a fairly common thing, so I will try not to worry about it too much and let it happen.
    Raven, I have tried bribing. Won't work with him, I tried with small bribes and graduated to all sorts of expensive toys and things I know he really wants, the stubborn little bugger still won't do it, lol, he just says "No, maybe I can get that for my birthday instead" ha ha.
    Je$$, wow, that must be hard work.
    Tears_of_joy, I figure, like you said, i will just click one day and he will do it.
    Thanks again for your tips and reassurance guys

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    S/West Sydney
    1,794

    well i dont want to jinx us but after i posted DS rang to the loo and yelled out "MUMMY it went splash... YAY" i was like what went splash... went in and he was sitting on there doing #2 without being asked and without dirtying his undies first...

    So excited i brought him a thomas the tank train today (thats what he wanted if he did one)

    Hopefully this is the begining of the end of pooy undies.... Lets just hope he continues... i dont care if i have to buy a damn train everyday for the next few weeks... If it saves me washing poo of 10 undies daily then its worth the money...

    Good luck to you all (i know i'll need the luck to keep this going)

    Finger crossed

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    KA, Western Australia
    554

    YAY for you DS Je$$ It looks like your perservering may have paid off, welldone hun.

    fingers crossed this is the start of a new beginning for you both.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    May 2004
    Shepparton
    4,871

    Emily was the same!! Would hold on for over a week!!

    We tried looots of things and eventually had her on double lax AND metamucil(docs orders)!!

    Anyway I know this won't help but I will tell you how the problem was solved...

    Emily was constipated (after focibly holding it in) and got a bout of gastro. So she vomited!!

    I used to say to her that if you keep holding it in it's going to come out your mouth!! Well that is what she thought happened and has been cured ever since!!

    Yay!!

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Oct 2004
    Caroline Springs,Melbourne
    1,531

    We are having similar prob with Jordan at the moment. We have only been TT for under 2 weeks however he will not sit down to do a poo. He stands over the potty and I have to catch it.
    He will sit on the toilet to do wees or stand over the potty but will not do #2 sitting down. He screams also if I try and make him sit.

    I am glad we are not the only ones with this issue also. HOpe you all sort it out soon, and us.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Adelaide, SA
    896

    My DS was the same with poos, we would find him hiding somewhere do his poo in his undies. I found he was scared of doing it on the toilet, so for a while i would sit and hold his hands or talk to him, when we had success we all cheered and he got to phone Nana with his news......lol poor Mum.
    My DD started a sticker chart for him and he would get to pick a sticker to put on his chart every time he did a poo, this worked for him, i must say though we still have the occasional accident.

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    S/West Sydney
    1,794

    Well after several threads of my own about this and few i have posted in started by others did some research and found what i think is my DS problem... Also posted all about it in another thread here is the link- not sure if its the same issue you are having but worth a peek

    https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ddlers-2s.html

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...
    3,793

    My DS turns 4 in May and up until last week was TT fine for #1's (for a the past year), and also fine for overnight without wearing a nappy, but had absolutely refused to do a poo anywhere but his nappy (which he used the same time every night.
    Last Sunday we said thats it, NO more nappies for poos, and encouraged him to use the toilet, and then the potty - as he seemed more comfortable with that.
    He did not then pass a BM until Thursday, which was lumpy and hard and involved lots of crying and screaming on his part.
    Same thing happened Sat, and Sun, and yesterday I was called to pick him up early from kindy because he was so uncomfortable he wouldnt even sit down.
    He spent the whole day/night crying, and lying on his belly with his bum in the air as this was the only position where he obviously didn't feel the pressure of the poo. He didn't even want to sit on the potty, and was just desperate to hold it in.
    He was also getting leakage.
    I had been giving him occasional Parachoc (paraffin oil) earlier in the week, so I gave him more, and began to ply him with lot of pear juice too (by this stage he didn't have an appetite either). and he STILL held it in all night.
    This morning we gave in and went and bought some more nappies, and lo and behold a few hours later he had filled it.

    I am now not going to attempt poo training until his bowel has returned to normal, and am going to have to find out how to approach it differently. Because he just downright refuses to let it out... after doing some research on the net I am finding out that it is not entirely uncommon for kids to go through this.... but my god... what a drama!

    I don't have any advice, but just wanted to share, as I was going to post my own thread about this too...

  16. #16
    Registered User

    May 2007
    newcastle
    5

    hi everyone i to am having a very big problem with my ds1 he is almost 3.5 years old and has been toilet trained for number 1's for along time and also wears no nappy to bed but when it comes to doing number 2's he needs a nappy or pull ups. he has now been holding on for four days because we told him there is no more nappys, he is starting to feel some discomfort and i'm about to crack and go back to letting him wear a nappy and breaks my heart to see my baby crying and screaming for a nappy and because he is in pain. i have tried the hole in nappys before as well but it didn't work for us because he would jump off the toilet and poo all over the floor. please if any body has any ideas or luck please let me know

    why are boys so hard?
    i am also on face book under rachel hollands

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    S/West Sydney
    1,794

    Hi there,

    Its such a difficult problem, For my son he doesnt use nappies he'll just poop his pants, but still hold on when you ask him to use the toilet.

    Maybe try some parrafin oil (works kinda like a laxative but safe for kids i have read) give him a dose and keep putting him on the toilet every 20-30 mins- i make my son sing, try to blow up ballons, read books or i read to him, its not nice having to sit in there with them but anything to help is a blessing.

    I read blowing up baloons uses similar muscles so doing this on the toilet may open the bowel. maybe try bribing him with stickers/stamp charts when he uses the toilet, ask him what toy he'd like and buy it if he goes on the toilet... appart from that i'm not much help either... My DS is around the same age and were continuously battling this situation. Just best not to get frustrated and try not to give in- maybe try a nice bath to relax the bowel and then try on the loo...

    Good luck,

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