Firstly don't be so hard on yourself! It's very easy to look at everyone else and compare what is happening in other households but ultimately you have to run your own race and do whats good for you and your family.
Skybie's right, your little one won't be wearing nappies at 10.
If however you feel up to having another go at trying now with your son, I highly recommend the 3 day potty training e book..google and see.
We have a now 14 week old bubba and embarked on tt our then 28 month old spn using the method over the Anzac day weekend just gone. Like you we were over the two lots of nappies and huge amounts of waste! Our son was also pretty hit and miss in showing interest in going to the toilet.
Very basically it involves telling the child its time to use the potty, throwing away the nappies with his help, explaining how to do but then most importantly at least one adult shadowing the tt train for 3 days and trying to catch accidents as they happen so that as they happen the adult can try and get the toddler onto the potty/toilet so that they can finish on the potty! No night nappies or pull ups, just basically going cold turkey!
It's pretty intensive and probably a method not for everyone!
However we have been happy with the results, we had a rough week with lots of washing after we started and were most tempted to give up/go to pull ups toward the end however we persevered and our DS is now without nappies day and night, in the last 3 weeks we have had two wet beds overnight and a couple of poo accidents after he had too much fruit but thats about it!
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