TT dilemma

[Astrid]

Well in the past few days Maggie has started to refuse wearing a nappy. This wouldn't be a problem except that she telling us that she needs to go to the toilet. As she is weeing she will say something, but not before.

I ask her regularly does she need to go, I even try taking, but she wont go. Other times she will go herself, sit and read, but not do anything. She is getting hysterical about having a nappy put on, but I have run out of pants except for one, which we have over the nappy to keep her happy.

Early in the year she looked as though she would toilet train, as she was telling me before she needed a poo in the morning and I would put her on the toilet. Other times before bed she has asked to go to the toilet and then done a wee. If I use the parents rooms at shopping centres she will want to go on the little toilet there and she always does a wee.

So I am really confused. She really wants to wear undies, but does not seem to want to do the rest the goes with it. What is the best way to deal with this??

[MantaRay]

Astrid, Maggie sounds a lot like Jack. He too is quite capable of weeing on the toilet (and pooing on occassion) but he mostly doesn't as he doesn't want to stop what he's doing. Sometimes he makes a fuss about wearing a nappy too, but when I put undies on him he wets or dirties them. Most times I can get him to wear a nappy without a fuss if I tell him that he has to wear it until he has done more wees and poos on the toilet, then he can have undies on. It solves one problem but doesn't bring us any closer to TT. Sometimes "treats" for using the toilet works, but only sometimes - it is fine if he isn't busy playing!!

Sorry this isn't helping you much, but I guess at least you know you are not alone. I will have to monitor this thread for ideas for us too!

[Lucy]

Astrid, Maggie sounds like she is doing EXACTLY what Olivia did at the exact same age.

I had no idea what to do, and one of my other dilemmas was that Olivia is very petite, so even the smallest undies were too big, LOL!

In the end, after a week or so of confusion and messes, I bit the bullet, bought 20 pairs of size 2 undies, spent a day with just me and Olivia (DH took Charlie out ALL DAY). We had no TV, loads of drinks. and did the Dr Phil method. (Google it.........)

Then we stayed close to home all week. The accidents disappeared after only about 2 days.

To this day Olivia hasn't had one accident, bless her. She just needed a few days of Mummy's concentrated time and patience and help.....

In hindsight it was ME that needed to get my head around it all as much as she needed to learn how to identify the wee sensations with her innate feeling that she didnt need nappies anymore. Does that make sense? (I had kind of thought we would do it when she was 3......not nearly a year earlier, so it was ME that needed to get prepared for her!)

I am glad I took advantage of her readiness....it made the whole TT bizzo fairly painless.........

VERY BEST OF LUCK!

[nikbrad]

We used the old fashioned terry towling knickers which you can get at Safeway when we were training. I remember someone saying once out of Nappies dont go back when TT. Mackenzie ripped her nappy off when she did poos one day and that was it. I stayed home for a few days and we had a few accidents but nothing too major and then we were away! I also used a sticker chart which I blue tacked to the toilet wall so each time she went she got to put a sticker on it and when she did poos I gave her a chocolate bud as a reward. Bribrey and corrupiton are well and truley alive in our house still!

[Astrid]

Cool - thanks for the advice. Unfortunately she had to start on a weekend with DH home, so he was just interferring and yelling at her if she would not wear nappy or undies. I was happy for her to have a bare bum, but he was not. Also he does not want her in the car without a nappy, so maybe I should get some pull ups for those times.

Was out and about this morning, so we had to use nappies. Visited a friend and Maggie was asking for the toilet, so I took her there and she did a big wee on the toilet. Better go shopping then I only have 4 pairs of Wiggles undies and 3 pairs of toweling training pants. Wonder if I can find somewhere open tonight.

Oh another question. What happens with childcare? Do I just tell them she is training and take in a heap of clothes and pants??

[Lucy]

Oh another question. What happens with childcare? Do I just tell them she is training and take in a heap of clothes and pants??

Yep. I took along a bag of 6 knickers and 6 fresh pairs of pants and they were more than accomodating. I think the other kids going to the toilet was all part of the motivation for Olivia........maggie may be the same?

[nikbrad]

Just thought I'd add, for the car trips for the first few outings I just popped a towel between the car seat and Miss M's bottom. Didn't need it but it would have done the trick if we needed it to.

[Lucy]

We did the same actually: good point.

And if we did go out in the car in those first few weeks, I kept asking Olivia if she needed to go when I knew we were coming up to a public toilet/ a suitable wee spot!

[Astrid]

Well not much luck today. Sometimes she was yell "piddle" as she was weeing, other times not a word. Often she would do this 2 minutes after me asking her if she needed to go to the toilet. Took her to the park and she had an accident. She refused to get changed and went on playing, was happy to be wet Yet other times if she is in a nappy she will ask to go to the toilet. This is so confusing.

[nicolelh]

your dh is yelling at her? it's not likely that she'll get reliably toilet trained until HE relaxes about it a bit - tension aroudn the issue will only make them more nervous of making a mistake - you know what happens when you get nervous!! Not to mention, excess worry about having a mistake will make her ask to go to the toilet more often when she doesn't really need to do anything - which can get rather annoying!