thread: Refusing Toilet

  1. #1
    Resident Samsquanch

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean

    Refusing Toilet

    I have a problem with my 3 1/2 yo DS and his stubborn refusal to go on the toilet or potty. I am being very patient with him but it is starting to wear me down, especially when he kicks and screams at me when I change his nappy.
    It doesn't help too that I have a very curious 20 month old DS that wants to be a part of the "fun" and join in. I even got 2 identical potties so little one could join in but they fight over one and leave the other alone.
    I have had success when by fluke he weed in the potty after which much fuss and a freddo frog was given. I thought he'd be keen to go again but he refuses.
    I've tried training pants, new undies he picked out and no pants but he hides behind curtains or in the corner and pees

    I need to hear from anyone who has dealt with this as it seems too easy for other people. I read toddler taming and have been trying to use his ideas but when DS won't even sit on the thing I can't even get a start.

    Sorry for the ramble


  2. #2
    Nikki Guest

    Oh Sam,

    I hear you on this subject.

    Our little man is the same. We have to put with the kicking & screaming at change time. We've tried the new undies, read books with him while he is sitting on th toilet. Nothing seems to work, he just constantly wants his nappy on.
    It is easier to TT girls than boys? It seems all the girls at Jayden's daycare are already TT & the boys are lagging behind.

    Please someone help us.

  3. #3
    Breastfeeding mummy extraordinaire

    Sep 2004
    Sydney's Norwest

    Hi Girls,

    Don't that I can help much, I just want to jump on the wagon. I have been try to tt Noah for a few months now. Most days we do ok althought there is no way I get a poo on the toilet. I am training him straight to the toilet, I find that is easiest otherwise you have to retrain them from the potty to the toilet. We have one of those seat things with steps on the front and handles. I find that this makes him feel more secure. We do have more luck when his dad takes him. Not really sure why though. Maybe it's because I don't have the patience to stand htere foe 10 minutes while he stuffs around trying to play with the paper or anything else he can find.
    Noahs reward when he goes is a big hooray, then he's aloud to flush the toilet and wash his hands. Crappy reward I know but he likes it

    Persistence is the only thing I have to say. And yes, I think girls mnust be easier to tt, all of my gf that have girls have no problem doing it. Obviously yet another male thing.

    Take care

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2003

    sorry girls, just thought id pop in and add my 2 cents worth lol
    cant help but wanted to say that Joshua was an easily TT child and it only took a few months apparently, i started him just before i had to come home without him and a few months later he was going to bed without a nappy.
    BUT I think girls may be easier to TT because my neice has only just turned 2 and is already out of a nappy all day and night!

    sorry, thats probably something u didnt wanna hear, but just wanted to add my 2 cents worth

    hope someone can help!
    take care

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2004
    Chasing Daylight...


    My sister is an early childhood teacher and when I was having trouble tt my ds she suggested setting aside a couple of days at least, leaving his bottom half undressed and following him around with the potty, as soon as he starts going, catch him and sit him down. When he gets some in the potty, reward him.

    She also said to set up a star chart or something and give him a star for each success. When he got to 5 stars, he got a bigger reward (like a trip to McDonalds, or a toy). The big reward has to be pictured on the start chart.

    Now I know this can get costly, but it depends just how desperate you are. I think it would work better on a 3 and 1/2 yr old because he has that added reasoning ability ie if I do this, I will get that.

    Hope that helps

  6. #6
    Resident Samsquanch

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean

    I just wanted to share this update. Last night I went out in the evening to chiropractor and when I came home DH had him sitting on potty in front of teev. He said when he was putting him in jammies he said no nappy and got potty himself and sat down. Nothing fell out but its a start.
    We made a big fuss and I read a story to him while he sat.
    This morning refusal again and so far no interest in sitting.
    Maybe I should go out every night!

    Is there a toilet training school like a sleep school? It would be a good idea I think.[/img]

  7. #7
    lulusmum25 Guest


    I just have to say toilet training girls can be just as hard as boys!!

    My DD has been on and off the potty now for quite a while. I have the same problem, hard to get her out of nappies. Am thinking of telling her there are no nappies left at the shops when we run out so she has to wear undies. Not sure though.

    We bought her a seat that goes on the toilet which we call the potty. At first she would happily get on it.(we started this just after she turned 2) She does a wee on it some times and for a while she would even tell me when she wanted to go. Now she seems to have lost interest in it. The minute I mention going on the potty she starts to scream and kick and carry on. A lot of her friends are already trained and I thought that would be a help her seeing them with undies.

    I have been told not to force the issue but it is really frustrating as she will be 3 in May and we are expecting our second in August. I may be selfish saying this but I really really want her trained by the time the baby comes.

    Any thoughts on this I would love to hear. I have tried getting her to wear no nappy at all, but she refused.

    Not sure what else to do.


  8. #8
    Ali Guest

    Hi Sam,

    Not sure if this would be any help, but the answer to my toilet training problem was to buy one of those little seats with 2 steps that goes over the toilet. My daughter flatly refused to use a potty and this product was the answer to my problems because she liked to use the toilet mum and dad use but was scared of the big seat.
    We bought it with her at Big W (I think it was about $35) and brought it home to put together with her. It comes as a flat pack but is very easy to put together. Chloe helped to assemble it and take it into the toilet. She thought it was great fun to be able to climb up the steps and sit down by herself.
    Maybe your little man might like the idea of a ladder as boys generally love to go climbing!

    Good Luck!