Hi Kelly.
You're right about the less reaction the better (although this isn't all that easy to control when you know she is doing it intentionally! )
We tried to the incentives thing (we would reward her for going to the toilet with a treat or something) but we found she soon turned it into a big negotiation. She would demand payment up front, before budging to go to the toilet! :eek:
That just became waaaaaaaay stressful for us. It was doing our head in.

We currently have ticks and crosses on her calendar, enforced. We don't tie the tick to her toilet attendance per se, but we say an overall behaviour through her day. If we think she has been particularly bad behaved, she gets a cross. If she gets 4 ticks in a row (4 days of being ell behaved) she gets a reward.
Of course there is the little mstter of catching her climbing up on her bookshelf to get the calendar and try to give herself tick, when she should be having a nap!