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Thread: Toilet Training

  1. #1
    Obsidian Guest

    Default Toilet Training

    I thought I'd share with you our (long) tale of toilet training.

    When she was about 9 months old I got a bit of a false hope in toilet training early. I was at my mother's house and she started calling out to me (before she could really talk) in a very insistant (but not upset) way, but I couldn't work out what she was on about, so sort of did the "yes..yes....." and ignored her. So she crawled over to the baby bag and started pulling at it, doing those insistant noises again... then something made me twig and I asked her if she needed a nappy change and she nodded. So I grabbed the bag and got set up, pulled her nappy off to find it empty, but a poo starting to emerge! So mum raced off to get the potty but it was too late. So I was convinced she was telling me she was doing a poo, but couldn't say the words. yay I thought - toilet training will surely come soon. So we bought a potty and left it in the lounge room, to get her used to the idea. Only about 1-2 days after we got it, I was sitting on the couch watching her and she crawled over to it, got onto it, sat there a moment and made the "i'm doing a poo face" then got off and crawled away - I checked her nappy and sure enough, a poo.



    So we figured that was it, she knew what to do and where, this was great. So we tried putting her on the potty occasionally through the day. We didn't want to pressure her, and we also don't like the approach to just put her on there for hours until she actually does something... so when she didn't want to sit on it, or sat there briefly and did nothing, we let her go. So we did that for a few months, and then gave up for a while, thinking she was obviously not close at all and it was just wasting time.

    Several months later we tried again. We managed to catch a few wees and poos - mostly because she'd start one in nappy off time, and we'd grab the potty and plonk her on it to catch the rest of it. On and off she'd either refuse to sit on the potty at all, or only sit for a moment. very frustrating. Then a few months later she started telling us when she'd done poos and sometimes wees. Which was great (although then she'd want her nappy changed after every tiny wee, so that went through lots of nappies!), but she would only tell us when she'd already done them, we got no warning, so we weren't able to catch any in the potty. But then that lasted only about a month and she went back to no communication about it at all and flat our refused to sit on the potty. So we decided to put it away again and not bother for a while.

    We were always really careful to make sitting on the potty fun (singing songs and geting her toys to sit on the potty before getting her to try and stuff), and not pressure her or make her feel bad for not going in the potty. We tried it in the lounge room and then in the corner of the toilet so she could sit there while we were going - to try and teach her what to do. So I don't think she was scared of the potty, she just decided she wasn't going to use it I think.

    Then at about 1 and a half she started showing a bit more interest again. Her older cousin (a year older) was now toilet trained, and Tahlia wanted to go watch her go to the toilet, and would happily sit on the big toilet (they had a special fold up kiddy seat on it), though she never did anything. She was still refusing to sit on the potty, but we bought a kiddy seat the same, and she was happy to sit on that - she wanted to sit on the big toilet like her cousin. Which was great.

    I tried to tell her to let me know when she needed to go, and several times during the day we'd go and sit on the potty, but it was very sporatic catching a wee, and we had tons of accidents on the floor. By this time it was summer, so she spent a lot of time in no nappies, hoping it would help. Mum bought her some little girl "knickers" (and now we can't call them anything else or she gets mad lol), hoping that telling her she couldn't do wees in them would help (but it didn't). She did get better at doing wees, and she got to the stage where she would do a wee when we got to the toilet, but then she'd do another one within about 15 mins later on the floor.

    Poos were harder to catch, and I'd try and put her on the toilet around the time she'd normally be doing a poo, but I could never catch them. I tried explaining how if she could feel a poo in her tummy she should push it out, and did a prentend poo scrunched up face, which she copied, but no poo. Then one day she farted on the toilet and got a bit of a surprise. So I said that was the start of a poo, make her bottom do that noise again. So she did. I was careful not to make it into a game, it was a matter of fact thing, those noises would end in a poo. So sure enough, she did a poo. Excellent!

    So for a couple of months we probably only got something in the toilet once a week or so... and we didn't really try to get her to use the toilet much, because we really didn't think it was getting us anywhere.

    Then, out of the blue 2 months ago when we were getting dressed in the morning, Tahlia said "no nappy please"... which was the first time she'd asked. She had taken her nappy off by herself (usually with disasterous consequences), but hadn't ever asked not to wear one. So I said of course and dressed her in her knickers and she was very pleased with that. So I told her she had to tell me if she wanted to go to the toilet (like I had been doing for months) and she said yes. After a few hours I realised she hadn't had an accident or asked me to go to the toilet, so I did the "lets go to the toilet" thing, and she happily came along, sat up there and did a wee on command! YAY. So I praised her like mad (as I'd always done) and stuck a sheet of purple paper to the door with a column for wee and a column for poo and gave her a sheet of star stickers (I happen to have already) and let her put one on the wee side. For the rest of the day I asked every few hours if she needed to go to the toilet and she'd go and get her star. I did put a nappy on her for her nap, and she wet it, but the next day she didn't wet her nap nappy, so after a few days of dry ones, we stopped putting a nappy on for nap time. Just at night.

    Poos took 2 weeks longer to get all in the toilet, and we had tons of poos happen in her undies in those 2 weeks, but she finally got that sorted. She didn't really have many wee accidents at all, and when she did it was just a few dribbles on the way to the toilet.

    We had 5 main accidents though, which isn't bad. The first 2 were only about a week after she started full time no nappy, and we were out at a family BBQ.. and she had been sitting on a chair and got down, tipping the chair over which poured wee off... no idea how long she'd been sitting in her wee puddle, but luckily we had plenty of changes of clothes! Then a few hours later she did another similar wee. I put that down to the excitement of being out though. We had a wee accident the first time I took her out shopping. I'd decided not to put her in a nappy, and not even to put anything into her undies to catch any wees... figuring if she did a wee and got all wet and made a puddle, it might help her realise she needed to hold on. So in Toys are us, she did a wee! luckily I'd brought a microfibre cloth for such an emergency, and space clothes. She had another such accident in Bunnings (but we didn't have anything with us) and then she was really good until 2 weeks ago when she had drastic poo accident in a play centre.

    But then in the last 2 weeks, she's gone backwards a bit. She will tell me she needs to do wees, but when we get there her pants and undies are soaked. One day she went through 8 pairs of pants! She's also done wees on the floor or in her pants and not told me. I've never got angry at her for having accidents, but I have explained to her that I will get cross if I ask her to go to the toilet and she refuses to try, and then does wees in her pants moments later. Or if she does wees and doesn't tell me. So mum suggested something she apparently saw on Super Nanny (but tweeked to suit us), where if she does wees in the toilet and has no wet pants she will get a bead put into a special jar, and if she does one of the things where she has an accident when she's refused to go to the toilet, or doesn't tell me when she does then one gets taken out. Since we'd only done the star chart for 1 month. Tahlia loves the bead in a jar thing, so hopefully that will help. And I've told her I won't get cross if she tells me shes done an accident, but I will if she hides it. So we are hoping that will help. Maybe it's because the weather has turned really cold and it might be messing with her feeling the wees? not sure why she's having troubles now.

  2. #2

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    Sounds like she is getting there!
    I know it's frustrating and I still get days where Angus will be dry all day then the next day wet his pants 3 or 4 times. I think it's important not to show any frustration (no matter how you may feel about the situation!).
    We had a huge day out yesterday which involved Angus going on several different public toilets and having a sleep in the car. Luckily we were dry all day and that was the first big test for him so I'm proud he did so well. I don't know how we would have gone if a poo had to be done...but we'll tackle that one in it's own time I'm sure.

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