thread: Toilet Training Information

  1. #1

    Toilet Training Information

    Toilet Training

    How do I know my child is ready

    Your child will show certain signs when they're ready to start toilet training, including:
    • * Age - your child needs to be somewhere between 18 months and three years before they are mature enough to recognise the urge to use their bowels or bladder. Boys usually take longer than girls.
      * Interest - your child expresses curiosity in watching others go to the toilet. Although this might seem embarrassing at first, it's actually helpful to the child if they can see you or older siblings using the toilet.
      * Dryness - their nappy stays dry for up to two hours; for example, their nappy may be dry when they wake up from their afternoon nap, showing that they are able to store urine in the bladder.
      * Nappy issues - they may tell you they hate wearing nappies, or else try to take them off themselves, particularly after soiling them.
      * Awareness - your child can tell you they're poohing or weeing while they're doing it, or can tell you straight after. If they can tell you before it happens, they're definitely ready for toilet training.

    Blap says- We tried training Aaron when he was around 2, but he just wasn't interested. They say boys take longer and boy has that proven right. Paige was born when Aaron was 2.5 and I wanted to only have 1 in nappies, but it didn't work out that way. We had accidents and he wouldn't even tell us when he had wet, so I gave up.

    Not long after his birthday (3), we began again and have had no accidents for wees. He was ready himself.

    TJKids9901 says - I started potty training my Tyson after he turned 2. He was telling me he was wet and pulling at his nappy so I just bought a potty and sat it in the loungeroom. I wasn't really keen on having him use it in the loungeroom either but he got used to it and learnt to use it because it wasn't a foreign object in the end

    He's been pretty good ever since and the only accidents we have is when he's busy and rushing to get to the toilet on time. When he used to do a wee I would say "Your doing a wee and wee's go in the potty" That seemed to do it for us.

    Astrolady says - I found Kameron was becoming ready when he kept taking his pooey nappy off and giving it to me, about a week later he did his first wee in the potty and he is still trying to get the hang of knowing when he has to go, but I have him in jocks and pants thru the day, so needless to say we have a lot of accidents. But has only been in the last week he has shown interest in training, and he is 2yrs 8mths.

    I think my child is ready to train, but not sure how to go about it
    • * Stop using nappies during the daytime, and put your child in underpants or training pants. Continue to use a nappy for daytime sleeps.
      * Dress them in clothes they can easily manage - for example, trousers with elasticised waistbands instead of buttons and zips. In warmer weather, consider leaving them bare-bottomed at home.
      * Give a gentle reminder at regular intervals throughout the day to see if they need to go to the toilet, but don't nag.
      * Don't make them sit on the toilet or potty for long periods of time, because this will feel like punishment.
      * You will need to wipe their bottoms for them at first.
      * Teach them to wash their hands every time they go to the toilet. Use a special soap just for these occasions.
      * It may take days, weeks or even months to help your child become fully toilet trained. Don't lose patience or heart.
      * If they refuse to use the toilet or potty, don't force them. Leave it until they are willing to try again.
      * If one week goes by without any success, postpone all attempts and try again a few weeks later. Remember - there's plenty of time, it's not a race.
      * Praise success. You might even try rewards like an animal stamp on their hand (kids love them)!
      * Be casual about accidents - take an 'oh well, it doesn't matter' attitude.
      * Don't try to toilet train if there is a major thing happening in the toddlers live, eg. new baby

    BellyBelly says - When I spoke to the MCHN about training, she told me to buy a heap of cheap undies for them and spend the week at home. If they are ready but are still going to wet themselves, they will learn that it's uncomfortable to be wet - but you have to persist for the week.

    Sounds like a very messy job, for Marisa the only thing that seems to work is when she is wearing nothing, she will tell me when she needs to wee, but with undies or a nappy, she wont say a thing!

    Astrolady says - We started with Kameron sitting on the potty fully dressed when one of us went to the toilet. He would even pretend to wipe himself. When he started handing us the dirty nappies I put him on the potty and fed him almonds till he did a wee (approx 30mins) and then gave him ALOT of praise.

    Pinky McKay says - Toilet training is easier in warmer weather and usually when kids are over two - it wont be long!

    I simply bought my girls pretty knickers (undies like Dad for the boys) , showed them and said "when you can wee in the toilet like mummy you can wear pants too"

    Darling 2 & 1/2 year old wasnt the least bit interested until one day we were visiting a girl I had worked with some years previously (BC) and missy decided she would wear her knickers - insisted in fact! She told me she would definitely wee in the toilet.

    When I got to friends house (I had never met her partner) partner was VERY strict on their kids (she had always been really easy going at work) and the house was spotless. Darling girl disappeared - I thought - no! She will be creating a piddle puddle somewhere and Ill be in deep poo! When I found her she was perched on their potty chair and weeing - pants down and all!

    I realised she was probably afraid of the big toilet (it hadnt been an issue with the boys) - after that we rarely had an 'accident" she just wore the knickers.

    My point is - toilet training is a bit like eating solids etc - when your baby is physically ready it is very easy and no power struggles are required. Let her follow you around, take her napopy off outside and let her "get" the sensation of weeing and connecting that this is happening - this needs to happen before she can anticipate that she is about to wee.

    Also with tots in "disposables" toilet readiness can be later as they dont experience the discomfort of being wet - so there isnt that as an incentive.

    I started toilet training and it is going really really well. However, I am unsure of what to do when i go to the shops

    Astrolady says - I started slowly. trip to a nearby park, over to mums etc I made sure he went to the toilet before leaving as well and is now in that habit. After a few successful small journeys out we tackled the shops for 1hr and he was fine. We did it again a few days later and asked him if he needed to go to the toilet, if he said yes we would take him and if he said no we would continue on. Then when we were out he started saying when he had to go, so now we have had no dramas and he now spends all day (cept nights) in jocks no matter where we go.

    Dee says - Ashlea was the same. Me and mum took her out for the first time in jocks, and made her go to the toilet before we left, then constantly kept asking her if she needed to go to the toilet. She got the hang of toilet training really quickly and has been toilet trained thought the night aswell for quite a few months.

    My child hides when he/she does a poo

    From Parenting & Child Health

    Quite a lot of children start hiding in strange places when doing poo, while they are being toilet trained. Some research has suggested that more than 50% of children do this at least a few times. They may do poo behind the sofa, inside a cupboard, outside in the garden or anywhere that they feel safe. It is not known why they do this (they certainly cannot explain it). They also stop doing it, probably without parents having to do anything much to stop it other than encouraging them to do poo in the toilet.

    Check that he still has easy access to the potty or toilet, and that he still has the footstool and special toilet seat in place if using the toilet. It is possible that he needs the potty to be in a more private place.

    Punishing toddlers for doing poo in the wrong place will not help.

    What can I do to help
    • * It is important for your child to feel she has your support in learning to use the toilet or potty. If it is not working she needs at least a few weeks with all the pressure off.
      * If you have a new baby, your toddler will see you happily changing the baby’s nappies, while inside she is wanting some babying herself. If she asks to wear a nappy or have a bottle again for a while, let her. Once she feels that she is still special to you she will be able to go forward again.
      * The first step towards a new beginning is to tell your toddler whenever and wherever she does her poo, that poo is good and doing poo is good for her. This will help her to feel free to tell you when she is doing it, or when she is ready to.
      * If she is relaxed about it you could take her to the toilet or potty at a time when she usually does poo (such as soon after a meal), or soon after a sleep if she wakes up dry. The first praise needs to be just for sitting there for a short time, or for pulling up her pants or whatever she can manage.
      * Children learn new tasks in small steps and each step can be praised. Don’t wait until they can do the whole task properly before praising her.
      * It is not helpful to make toddlers wash their own pants or sheets. This usually makes them feel bad and may make things worse. (Sometimes a counsellor will suggest this as part of a program to help older children with bedwetting problems, but it is not appropriate for younger children.)

    • * Start toilet training when your child shows he is ready.
      * Give praise for small steps - don’t wait for the success of being toilet trained.
      * Go at your child’s pace, and don’t expect too much.
      * If there are any setbacks, stop for a few weeks and then start again.
      * Don’t get into battles over toilet training. It needs to be your child’s achievement that he can be proud of.
      * Punishment has no place in toilet training.

    Night Time Training

    (From Australian Parenting & Child Health websites)

    A child usually masters daytime toileting before they can keep their bed dry at night. Don't be concerned if your toddler wets the bed, because most children under the age of five years still urinate in their sleep, and one in 10 younger primary school children do too. Don't assume that your child can keep their bed dry because they can manage their toileting when they're awake. It might help if you think of staying dry at night as completely separate to daytime toilet use.

    How to tell when your child is ready
    Don't take your child out of night-time nappies too soon. Suggestions include:
    • * If your child wakes up every morning with a wet nappy, they're not ready. If you take them out of night-time nappies, they'll just wet the bed.
      * Keep your child in night-time nappies until most nappies are dry in the morning or until they are wet just before your child wakes. The nappy will be soaked and the urine warm.
      * Your child may attempt to go to the toilet during the night, or call out for your help.

    Preparations for staying dry at night
    • * Make sure your child can manage to get out of bed and can easily remove their pyjamas. Encourage your child to practice pulling them up and down.
      * Talk to your child about going to the toilet at night-time. Work out your procedure together. Will they go to the toilet themselves, use a potty in their bedroom, or wake you up for help?
      * You may need to talk about your chosen night-time toileting procedure a few times. For example, you might say: 'Come into my bedroom and wake me up when you need to go to the toilet, and I'll help you.'
      * Put a mattress protector on their mattress.

    Staying dry at night
    • * Make one last trip to the toilet part of their bedtime routine.
      * Casually remind your child to get up in the night if they need to go to the toilet.
      * If your child wakes up for any reason during the night, ask them if they want to go to the toilet before being tucked back into bed.
      * Avoid pressuring your child. They're keen to master toileting and anxious about disappointing you. If your child is dry in the morning, give gentle praise, but don't be concerned if they're wet.
      * Don't get angry or frustrated at your child for wetting the bed. If the extra washing bothers you, buy pull-ups.
      * Don't punish your child for wetting the bed. They're not doing it deliberately to annoy you. Be calmly reassuring.

    Approaches to avoid
    Some approaches will only delay your attempts to help your child stay dry at night. Approaches to avoid include:
    • * Don't criticise, humiliate or belittle your child for being a 'baby'. Night-time bladder control is a complicated skill. All efforts, no matter how small, should be praised.
      * Don't punish your child by making them stay in their wet sheets or getting them to wash the soiled bed linen, for example. If your child is anxious, they are less likely to stay dry at night.
      * Don't deprive your child of fluids in the evening. Make sure they drink plenty during the day so that they are not very thirsty in the evening.
      * Don't talk about your child's 'problem' to other people when the child is present, as this can make them feel ashamed and embarrassed.

    When staying dry at night is difficult
    If your child is finding it difficult to stay dry at night, some of these suggestions may help:
    • * Remember that it might take years for your child to reliably master night-time dryness. Don't stress about it or compare your child's efforts with other children who are apparently dry at night.
      * If your child is scared of the dark, going to the toilet at night is an enormous challenge. Consider putting nightlights in the hallway and in their bedroom.
      * If they feel that trekking all the way to the toilet is still too daunting, you could put a potty in their bedroom.
      * Make sure your child feels that it's okay to wake you up in the night when they need to go to the toilet.
      * If your child is becoming anxious or frustrated, take the pressure off. Forget about night-time toilet training for a while.
      * Older children may want to help to wash their sheets or remake their bed, because they feel more responsible for their night-time toileting. If not, don't push.
      * See your doctor for reassurance if your child is regularly wetting the bed after five years or older or if they are wetting the bed again after a long period of night-time dryness. Sometimes, medical problems such as bladder infections may be the underlying cause.

  2. #2
    Pietta Guest

    Wow that is BRILLIANT information !!

    Thanks Kathryn

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2006
    Wollongong, NSW

    Here i was about to make apost on how to toilet train and then i saw this! im have alot more knowledge behind me now Thanks heaps!

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2006

    Great info! Thankyou.

  5. #5
    DoubleK Guest

    wow just what i needed!! im thinking of giving it a go, i might print that post, just so i can re-read it and show it to DP!

  6. #6
    browneyedgirl Guest

    DS is 2 years and 7 months but not ready for toilet training yet, but I feel armed with some useful tips. Thank you.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2006

    Cool information. My DD is 16 months so no where near ready yet some mums at mothers group are "talking" about starting in next few months - seems so early to me but I will wait till she is DEF ready so it works properly.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Aug 2006

    A parent came into work today and was so excited to tell me that her DS was finally TT (3 or nearly 3 yrs). I said that was great and that they all 'get' it evidentially, i asked how long it took, she replied two days! Great i said

    She replied we encouraged him to go out near a tree, good plan in this weather!

    Then she continued it was all going so well until we saw him squats like a dog and does a big poo in the middle of the lawn! lol then they sat down for a little chat!

    So please remember when you are TT how you go about it


  9. #9
    Registered User

    Sep 2009

    Thanks wonderful info.

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    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2009
    Brisbane Qld

    Ok we have been TT for 3 weeks..

    At home she runs to her potty and she does it without asking..

    We have done the grand parents she runs to the toliet on her own without saying a thing..

    We have done the shops for an hour or so and great.. I ask but she doesnt say yes..

    So today we are going out for the morning, like for 4 hours.. Im worried!! What if she doesnt tell me and she goes.. We are going with her cousins and I dont want her to get embarrassed..

    My plan is asking her every hour do you need to go to the toliet and only when she says yes to take her?? Im scared!!

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2008
    Auckland, NZ

    Great info! Thanks
    Hope to put it to good use soon!