After hearing endless stories of how difficult it was to toilet train boys, we finally bit the bullet and put Sam in undies one afternoon. We practiced pulling pants up and down to use the potty and all seemed well. He had a couple of accidents but that was ok. The next time we put him in undies, he would start to go, realise, stop and then go to the potty. Progress! Next thing we know, he wakes up completely dry from overnight, tells us every time he needs to do a wee, and that was that. In the space of three days Sam has become completely dry, including overnight. He stayed in a nappy for night time that was always dry in the morning, up until the night he woke us at 4am because he needed the potty. He's not been in a nappy since. Lucky us! Head still spinning at how quickly it happened.
Poos on the other hand... in the first few days where he only wore undies at home, we managed to catch a poo or two in the potty. Unfortunately, he went to day care and had a poo accident. And then he was at home with just DH and DH was mowing the lawn, and there was another poo accident. Ever since, he has completely refused to even try to poo on either potty or toilet. It's like he's become so scared to poo his pants that he's holding on so much that he can't even try to go. This morning became really stressful - I could tell he needed to poo (a few trips to the potty where he sits down and just says "gone!" are a bit of a clue), but he wouldn't. He wouldn't even pass urine. He'd gone all night and up for several hours, eating breakfast and drinking heaps of water and was holding on to his poo so tightly he couldn't even wee. Two accidents at day care and things are moving again, but I just have no idea where to go from here.
Putting him in a nappy to do a poo isn't an option. He just refuses to use it. The only thing preserving my sanity is the fact that we can tell a poo is brewing and can put him in a pull up if we have to go out, just to make things easier to deal with, but the result is always the same. He is so stressed that he holds on until he can't possibly hold on any longer and apart from those first few days, every single poo is done in his pants. At home he'll tell us, but at day care he didn't tell the carers. Don't know if he wasn't aware (doubtful), or just didn't care once he'd got it out.
I'm just all out of ideas. Having him hold on so he couldn't even pass urine this morning has got me scared and stressed. Anyone else had to deal with similar?
Yes! We're in the same boat at the moment. Our DS1 didn't have an issue with poos on the potty and then toilet, but DS2 just won't go poo on either. He waits until he's in a pull up for a sleep, before going. So frustrating. We've also had quite a few accidents in his pants. I'm not sure what to suggest, as we didn't go through this with our first son. We've got a sticker chart next to the toilet (as he got a bit lazy with his wees) and not sure what else to try. We're trying not to get angry when he has accidents and talk about his big brother doing poos on the toilet. He got to the point where he started regressing and didn't want to wee on the toilet, so he's now doing 'big boy, stand up wees'. Still no poos yet.
Sorry I'm not able to offer any suggestions. I guess they won't be doing number 2's in their pants when they're 21!
Right there with you. No ideas sorry. I've tried everything. We can only get poos if we accidentally catch one. Hopefully someone will have the magic answer for us
My son went through this and was another one of those toilet trained overnight kids I found when I noticed it was about time for him to do a poo I would put him on the toilet (bought the cusey tooshie) and say it was time to practise out pushing sounds and wait within 15 minuted he usually had results he got bored of that I would brush his teeth or something to keep him occupied becase just sitting on there long enough seemed to finally make him want to go
My dd went through a phase of refusing to use the toilet for poos and for her it was a shame thing, so I started to talk really positively about poo and how great it was. My dd was under two, but at sam's age you could even talk about digestive systems and the process of making poo. Then I ignored all accidents for a few days...no mentioning or even wrinkling of noses. Then I started to show dd her poo and talk about how normal it is...this was a bingo moment for us, as she stopped running off to hide and started telling us when a poo was coming. That meant I could get her onto the potty in time.
Kids are very possessive about their poo...they need to feel it is safe to share it with others iTMS?
We're fortunate enough that with Sam and his holding on until he can't any more, we are getting very solid, very formed bowel motions. No need to scrub undies here! The night he had corn and grated carrot in his dinner - I didn't dare put him in anything other than a pull up!
Arcadia, I think you've got some great ideas there. I'm honestly quite tempted to really go with the visual approach and show him next time I go... Will be tricky to avoid the potential trauma generated by me having AF this week, so perhaps next week! Might definitely be time to start getting excited about poo, no matter where it is.
It's comforting to know that Sam's not alone in this, so thank you all for sharing! Day care said the same thing, that they've had other kids do the same and they do eventually come through it. But the holding on so he couldn't wee thing really scared me yesterday.
We have issues with DS1 and this he has been late to TT and has had wees downpat for weeks but poo we have only have 4 in loo, he does them in pants or pull ups and I am over scrubbing undies.
We need help with poo!
Two accidents at day care and things are moving again, but I just have no idea where to go from here.
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