When should we start?

[Taurean]

DD turned 2 in September and is showing several signs of being ready to toilet train. I've got the '3 Day Potty Training Guide' which my sister used with huge success with both her boys so I'm going to give it a shot. I just don't know when to dive in due to the following:

- we've just moved house (3 weeks ago) so it's been a huge change for DD, although she's coped very well

- DD has moved full time into her big girl bed this week. She moved into her toddler bed several months ago but now she's in a king single and all the furniture is brand new in a brand new room. She's doing so well (5 nights running in it now) but she is up and down a bit at night

- I'm 35 weeks pregnant with our second child so there will be a newborn on the scene soon

- despite coping well, DD is cutting her 2 year old molars. Only one is through so far

So, taking all that into account, I feel like we should hold off until early next year BUT how much harder is it likely to be with a little baby to look after as well?

I'm so confused! Any advice would be great. For what it's worth, two in nappies doesn't bother me at all but obviously I can't avoid toilet training forever

[Beach Mama]

Just take her lead hun, if she is showing interest then I would amp up the talking about it, offering for her to use the potty etc. Not sure what the book entails but if she shows signs of resisting or not being ready I would wait a few days and try again. Kids are so reslsiient - I was so worried about us moving house twice in 3 mths but the kids coped better than I did Good luck!!

[LieseSP]

I'm 35 weeks too, and we are toilet training my 18 month old boy (actually we use elimination communication). We have been doing EC for a couple of months and slowly he is getting the hang of using the potty, although it is a challenge.

My advice is just dive in. In my opinion there is no need for signs of readiness, potty training should be parent lead - as long as you make it a positive happy experience. Children are capable of communicating their potty needs if you encourage them, whether verbal or not, mobile or not. I have heard of awesome success of the 3 day method.

The thing is, you have nothing to lose! If you end up with wee or poo on the floor, which will happen in any style of potty training, you just clean it. Its a fact of life. If it really doesn't work out, or you find it too hard (especially in this late stage of pregnancy), there is no harm trying later.

Relax and take it easy, have fun pottying, and let us know how you go! If you want any tips, just ask :-)

[Nai]

Just my personal experience in TT'ing 2 very headstrong girls is let them take the lead. It saves a lot of angst and cleaning up! DD1 refused to sit on the potty. One day said she wanted to wear undies, I said you have to use the potty so she did. She had a couple of accidents and that was it. Same with night TT. She wanted to wear undies. I said she had to have 5 dry nights in a row and she did. Also probably has wet the bed less than a handful of times since then.

DD2 would have a meltdown at the mere sight of the potty so it was put away and ignored. The more we talked about it the more stubborn she got. So after ignoring it for a few weeks she decided she was ready. So out it came and she has been ever since. Probably one or two accidents. She now wants to night TT so she is on day 3 of her 5 dry night tally.

[wysiwyg]

We started DD once turned 2 and I was about same stage of pregnancy as you, and was winter so all the things they say to avoid - but it worked fine - I read the 3 day thing and adopted bits of it (never did staying at home) - she has been TT in the day for a couple of months - overnight it depends on how early I am prepared to get up - if I get up as soon as she wakes up will be dry but if I let her read and sing etc before I go in then tends to be wet.

I agree with LieseSP just dive in and see how it goes, the 3 day thing is too prescriptive in my opinion (all children are different and can respond to different things) - I think doing it while I was heavily pregnant and with a new born helped in some ways as wasn't the main focus so was relaxed about it, but also DD found she could use it to get my attention so then that helped it along too. If you don't have someone to help you in the first few weeks and you have a little one could be difficult as you need to get to the toilet quick (I had my mum here so she could help). Also personally I am not that convinced by the 3 day thing, as we had 3 successful days in a row but then would have problems a week later for a couple of days - so I could have said she is TT in 3 days but really she wasn't - was a bit of backwards forwards process - am sure some people do have success in 3 days and never go backwards but if you do isn't a failure and don't need to give up entirely in my opinion.

[~Hestia~]

I would be inclined to wait til after bubs arrives, but having said that Moo is nowhere near ready so it's not something I've actually been through!

[Lenny]

I can't comment on the book, but from my experience, you need to let the child take the lead a bit. My DS just decided he like toilets and the potty. I honestly went to the toilet with him 6 times in about 2 hours at a BB meetup in the weekend. I talked to no-one and didn't even get a drink!

I'm taking it much much easier this time. Just really a whole lot more relaxed and patient than i was last time. I think i was lulled into the belief that you can TT a child in a few days. Maybe you can - but not my kids! And it's not really something you can teach per se, you just need to let them learn. They need to be ready physically and mentally.

Patience is a virtue that you absolutely require with TT. You might find that she doesn't like to sit for more than a minute on the potty, then wants to come back 5 times in 5 minutes to finish off. Tough with a new baby around. But if she says "mummy wees" then it's hard to say, oh well do it in your nappy 'cos i'm in the middle of breastfeeding!

Summer is a great time though. Kids can go without all those layers of clothing and it's not so hard to wash wet clothes. I have a some pairs of cloth pull-ups and they are FANtastic.

[Taurean]

Thanks so much for all the awesome advice so far. I think we might just give it a go starting next weekend (we have house guests all this weekend) and see where she's at. If she appears to be a bit frazzled, we'll drop it and try again maybe the following weekend. If we get too close to my due date without success, I'll tackle it again in the new year. My folks live close by so I might be able to get mum over for a few days during the week to give me a hand as well.

Will post some updates on our progress. Any more tips welcome, I really appreciate it (man I love this site!)

[Nai]

One more thing, if she is resisting try getting someone other than you to get her to use the potty. Dd1 did it for nanna and dd2 did it for our next door neighbour!

[Taurean]

One more thing, if she is resisting try getting someone other than you to get her to use the potty. Dd1 did it for nanna and dd2 did it for our next door neighbour!

LOL! I'd happily drag in the neighbours to deal with it for me, it would be an interesting way to meet them. Jokes aside, Nanna could definitely be a possibility and she'll be around to help a lot once the baby arrives.

[sangie]

Like the others said just play it by ear and let her take the lead.
Ethan is showing some signs of being interested. Last weekend he was brilliant and used the potty all weekend with only one accident. This week has been a different story and he doesn't want to use it at all so I'm just letting him go and we'll try again when he wants to. She's still so little so don't rush it, if it doesn't work out then try again later!

[Amaunet]

I'm in the same boat 35 weeks utd and my DS was 2 in July.

We've been using the toilet, after naps and before his bath etc but we are definitely still in nappies! I ask him if he want to go to the toilet and in the last few days he's been telling me he wants to go. I find he asks just after he's done a wee/poo in his nappy do he's not quite there yet.

A friend's little girl stopped using the toilet when the new bub arrived so I'm not getting too gung ho about it in case he regressed iykwim.

So no real help from me, just some solidarity

[LieseSP]

If you need a few tips on why your child might not want to potty, you can look at my blog: drawingtea.wordpress.com

We have been blogging our Elimination Communication journey since DS was about 15 months when we started. There can be various reasons that kids don't want to sit on the loo other than they just don't want to. We have had a few potty strikes along the way - the latest one being a 3 week strike, but I have found there is always a reason behind it that you can work out. It is not an easy thing for a child who has being going toilet in nappies for 2 years to be retrained in using an actual toilet.

Some reasons our DS refused the potty were - he did not like the location of the potty, the potty was cold, he is too busy playing, going through a growth spurt and teething. The biggest one which we are overcoming this time is that the floor is too convenient. We have tiles through our house so it has been no issue cleaning up spills. So we have been teaching DS that the floor is not meant to be convenient, by picking him up if we spot him weeing or pooing and putting him on the potty. Two days doing this so far, and we went from 3 weeks without catching a thing, to catching every poo and some wees. It does not make him upset. He he happy that he is learning, because he is rewarded with grapes if he is successful on the potty. It has spurred him on to start using the potty independently because that is what we are teaching him.

Another tip is to let your child in the toilet with you when you go, and show them the process. This way they learn that our waste is meant to go into the toilet, and that everyone does it!

[lyra stardust]

Hi,

I have just used this method and it worked fantastically! DS is 2y 1m and was showing signs that he was ready so I just thought Id try it one day. He literally did it all by himself! We went bare bummed at home and commando when out for about 3-4 days, then started using jocks. We are having a few accidents, (maybe 1 per day on average, some days none) after 1 week but in general I am very impressed and thought it would be harder. I have just moved the potty from living room into bathroom and he seems to have adapted pretty well. I have bought a fold up padded seat to take out and he has started using public toilets with no problems , although for the first few days he didn't like them and would try and hold it in. I still use a nappy for nap and nighttime, but have packed away all my cloth nappies- hooray!

My advice would be to give it a go now before the baby comes, if she's not ready I think you will know and have to wait a bit, but at least you've given it a go. We are still a little bit a slave to his bladder, and I have to watch him fairly closely at home and ask him if he needs to go frequently, so I think that would be hard with a newborn!! So either try now, or wait until your newborn is a bit older.

Good luck!!!

LS x