We'll I give your DH credit for trying to do a nappy wash - more than my DH was every game to do. But i think your method is the right one. I dry pail, then cold rinse, then cold wash in half strength liquid detergent (currently amolin for sensitive skin) and then line dry. Will line dry in the shade in summer otherwise they go too hard and stiff. But the sun is the only thing that can fade the poo stains.