Baby in SCN, feeling really down and hopeless

[black_rose]

Dd1 was born at 34 weeks by emergency cs, so I have been through what you are going through. Leaving them is the hardest thing to do, especially if they are unsettled. When you are with her take over from the midwives. Take her temp, changer nappies, clothes, bedding anything you can to be part of her routine. Cuddle her while you are expressing so you have extra time with her.

Hopefully it won't be long before she is home, how is she health wise? Are they just waiting for to be able to do all suck feeds in a 24hour period?

Focus on each day, to successfully manage a bf, even for 5 minutes, enjoy the cuddles. Take photos to have at home. When you are home rest, expressing full time is exhausting.

Hope your dd is home soon.

[teresa]

when DS was transferred to the hospital closer to our house, they felt he was ready for all suck feeds the next day and we took him home 2 days afyter that. maybe the new hospital might do the same?

[Yarrawin]

I don't think she'll get to come home... she's really little... since she dropped down from her birth weight she's under 1700g so she has to stay in a humidicrib thingie and she can't maintain her body temperature. She's got to put weight on before that will happen and this whole overfeeding/vomit fiasco REALLY didn't help that but fingers crossed thats sorted itself out now.

Health wise its just weight gain and suck feeds. That's it, which is a huge relief when I see some of the other babies in there (which makes me feel so guilty for feeling the way I do as well but again, I can't help it).

[Sunny Love]

Yarrawin, I can't imagine how you must feel. Days sound emotionally tumultuous for you right now. What i'd like to say in my post is that you are doing a fine job of being a mother. No one can prepare you for anything about having a child, regardless of your own journey and its difference to someone else's. No one is judging you or your actions right now so PLEASE don't feel like a bad mother ever, and don't feel ungrateful around other parents too in possibly less fortunate circumstances. This is your journey and how you walk it is yours to own. Chin up mum
Your little girl will be keeping you running around like a mad chook soon enough, and you'll look back at this time and simply say, 'wow, aren't we an amazing family!'
All the best xxooxxoo

AND congrats on a beautiful little princess for 2010!

[*Infinity*]

Firstly hun, congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl. Sometimes we forget to celebrate when things don't quite go to plan. I'm sure she is gorgeous.

Leaving your little one at hospital is the hardest thing you'll probably ever do, I totally understand. Our DD had a long stay in hospital this year too, so I can very much relate to your experience. She sounds like she's doing really well, but it is a very scary time and recovering from a c-section too is tough enough on its own. Have you got someone to drive you to hospital to see her?

The emotions will run thick & fast for you and things change so quickly. One day you can feel like you're managing ok, and the next you feel like you're falling apart. Don't feel guilty comparing yourself to the experience of others.....anyone who has a bub in hospital has their own journey and everything you are feeling is valid. And well done on expressing for her, its a really tough job but so very valuable for your baby girl. Its exhausting so make sure you get as much rest as you can. There were some days where I had to force myself to take a break from visits and I asked DP to take over for a few days while I got my head back together and regained some strength.

There are lots of things you can do that will make you feel more involved in your DDs care. It took us a few weeks to get familiar with the routine in hospital but it wasn't long before we were practically doing most things we could for DD. She was in a closed crib for a long time, and with some practice and the guidance of the nurses you'll soon be a pro. Nappy changes, tube feeds, sponge baths, taking temp, changing positions and other cares in general can all be done by you and your hubby so let them know you want to be involved.

Are you getting many cuddles with her? The staff should understand the value of skin-to-skin cuddles so don't be shy to ask them to help you get her out for a cuddle at any opportunity. It feels like its a lot of work and like its disrupting her for a while, but truly the benefits are real for the both of you. I used to sit for hours with DD tucked into my top and it was so healing for me.

I would have a chat to the social worker at the hossy too, they can really help you de-brief and work through what you're feeling.

Good luck

[UsPlus2]

Congratulations to you and your DH on the birth of your little girl.

My son was born via emergency c/s at 32 weeks and was in the NICU/SCN so I totally understand where you are coming from. It was easier to deal with when I was still in hospital with DS for 5 days due to the c/s but as soon as I went home without him my heart broke. Please dont think your a horrible mum for crying, you have to remember not only are you giong through a journey you werent expecting, but your body is also going the post pregnancy hormone re-adjustments. My DP was like yours was just so focused on the practical side of things, its a mans instinct, ours at this time is to protect and nurture. It's totally natural to be upset when you can do that.

Being told your not the best person for your child to be with was the worse thing to deal with, but try to look at it from the point that you cant be there for her the way you imagined, but you can be there in other ways, expressing is liquid gold to your little girl, its the best gift anyone could give her and your the only one that can give it to her. Concentrate on the next feed, then the feed after that. If you get to change bubba girl, ask the nurses if you can take her shirts home to wash and bring back, same with cloth nappies if they are using them, it will help that need to nest and feel like a mum. If time allows try staying there between feeds and just read and talk to her, if your hands are allowed in the humicrib hold her hand. It will do wonders for you and for her to have that small comfort.

In terms of getting her home, talk to all the different nurses that are caring for her, they will all have different opinions. I wish we did this earlier. I went back at midnight on about day 6 because I just lost the plot and needed to see my little man. That nurse asked why we said he couldnt have finger feeds, we never did, it was just assumed we didnt. But it was the first step in getting him to suck properly. We also agreed to let him do bottle feeds, as it allowed him to get learn to suck, but still get food without the exhaustion of breastfeeding. When he got good at that we did breastfeeding. Its all about small steps towards a bigger goal.

its fantastic that she is doing well enough to come to a hospital closer to home. Keep a daily journal of all her milestones, when she opened her eyes, feed and weight increases etc, it helped me realise the real progress my little man was making.

I hope she is home in your arms soon

[Early Kids]

Congratulations!!!

Health wise its just weight gain and suck feeds. That's it, which is a huge relief when I see some of the other babies in there (which makes me feel so guilty for feeling the way I do as well but again, I can't help it).

I'm glad she is doing well, but please don't feeling guilty. No matter what gestation the absolute hardest thing to do is walk out the doors leaving your baby in a plastic box while strangers watch them. It's absolutely heart wrenching as I'm sure you are well aware

I truly hope that your gorgeous girls surprises you and is home soon, you are doing such a great job.