My darling girl was born due to ruptured membranes (no apparent reason) at 26 weeks. I had a very healthy happy pregnancy so was immediately thrown into shock with the knowledge that my baby may not survive. I live in Jamaica and the hospital where she was to be born had no available ventilators . Luckily I was able to get her transferred to another hospital that had one available but the previous hospital did not help her with CPAP so she had breathed with a head box only for 11 hours. She developed severe RDS due to this and arrived at the other hospital with hypothermia . For 3 days I could not see her because of the c section. That in itself required iron will on my part not to fall apart.I nearly did breakdown and I could feel that the breakdown would have done me physical damage. Luckily another mother came to me immediately and kept me strong and intact.I was terrified she would die before I saw her again. When I finally saw her i was just happy she was still alive despite all the tubes and very badly bruised skin from IV sitings. I never let the horror of the tubes , IV's get to me. It would have done her no good and I didnt want her to feel bad about them. If I had thought then about the physical horrors she was going through, I would not have survived the three months I lived at the hospital with her.I was also keenly aware they were keeping her alive.The NICU roller coaster ride was hellish to say the least. The constant crashing and rescusitations were difficult. Added to which we had to work with a hospital that was under resourced as well as work with outdated equipment . Kira did not need much oxygen support by the ventilator but her throat was traumatised and each extubation had to reveresed when her throat closed. The only way for her to breathe was to re-intubate her.She was ventliated for 5 weeks. There were many traumatic moments and we nearly lost her on several occasions. She was ultimately very lucky....she had collapsed lungs, pnumonias, severe sepsis, ROP, 8 blood transfusions.....but no NEC or other gastro intestinal issues. The emotional strength that is required in NICU is huge. You are expected to be positive about the future, a treatment, a weaning but if it doesnt work and there are some steps back you are required to be strong and understand that these things happen and its all baby steps etc etc......Some days I was beaten and i started envisioning her coffin and funeral but mostly I sang and spoke to her constantly... i kissed her alot too....this made me feel better and she did too many times by squeezing my fingers.......she was the most ill baby for awhile in NICU and I had to watch other babies get better...you're happy for them but sometimes you feel your baby is never getting better...actually in NICU it is such a two steps forward three steps back thing that some babies that seemed to get better, she actually left them behind in NICU in the end....sadly some didnt make it.
The docs were convinced she had CLD (chronic lung disease) but in the end she left the hospital without oxygen and zero apnea. She weighed 2.5 Ibs and had difficulty gaining weight for awhile but after a last transfusion she started gaining wieght and now weighs 17 lbs and has no problems save a little exzema.
She is now 11 months actual age and 8 months corrected. She rolls and flips and actually covers alot of ground this way. She's about to start crawling and she sits unsupported. She's a very happy , healthy baby. She has only had one minor cold and one minor ear infection.
To all the mothers out there in NICU now, my heart and soul is with you. Its one of the hardest thing anyone could ever have to do. Just remember its an awful place but a very special one too. The only place that can give your baby what he/she needs. My main advice would be to spend as much time with the baby as possible and no matter what happens in the next hour, day or weeks love your baby now. P.S My baby is called Kira although I spend alot of time calling her boom boom. See link to see pics. Zenfolio | misha earle photography | Kira boom boom Foote