It's all coming back...

[Early Kids]

Totally understandable and I know exactly what you mean. I hear of babies born at 30 and 34 weeks and I cringe, yet babies born outside of those weeks and I'm ok.

[*Beema*]

BW, completely understandable hun, and like you have said every birth and every child is different but the thing that connects us all together is that we have all experienced having a premature baby, born before their time, and with their own challenges big and small.

We are here for you hun, talk through this, hopefully by working through your emotions here can help when you want to face them in "reality"

[Honeybee]

I really feel for your friend BW, I hope she's OK. Have you had any word on how she's doing?

I hope you got a chance to talk to your other friend today, and I hope she could empathise with how you're feeling.

Honeybee, I don't recall you ever telling me about your son's visit to SCN. It is incredibly traumatic... to have your son taken away and your husband asked to follow along to the nursery with him and then suddenly the midwife and OB just evaporate and ****** you're alone! Hideously traumatic.

Absolutely! I planned so carefully for the birth, and just assumed that if I got a natural or near-natural vaginal birth that all would be OK afterwards. I was so unprepared for what happened. I don't really understand why they took him away without me - I could have gone with him. The midwife kept me back to have a shower, then they sent me to my room to have dinner. I just accepted all this without question. Why? I still feel like I really haven't processed what happened fully. Anyway, I should probably write a thread about it, not hijack yours

I really think that birth is such a shocking experience, and when something goes wrong it's even harder to get your head around what happened. I think your reaction is fine, I think most people would feel the same but might not admit it.

Hope you're feeling a bit better tonight.

xxx

[butterfly_warrior]

I had to stay behind - I was in no fit state to walk anywhere (and was still wobbly on my feet the next morning, no epidural or anything it was just a physical reaction to the birth) and I needed to be stitched up. I guess in my head I knew that being prem, he'd need to be checked out and could need help when he was born - but my labour was so hard and fast that I didn't really get any time to think about the reality of what that would mean.

As far as I know my friend is ok. I'm told that pre-eclampsia resolves pretty quickly after birth, so she's had the best possible care in that respect. She's also very lucky - she's had no sign of blood pressure issues through the whole pregnancy and it came on very, very suddenly - but her OB was on the ball and was clued in to the fact something was up due to bub being somewhat small for dates.

I also didn't get to church this evening, Sam slept too long and afternoon naps have been few and far between this last week so I wasn't going to wake him. I also remembered that my friend had a c-section under general anaesthetic so wouldn't have experienced the whole thing with bub being taken away... So perhaps I really am finding more support and understanding here than I would there.

I'm trying to think of reasons for a full-term bub to have needed to be checked out in SCN after birth. I saw a few come into the SCN to be observed due to the mother having gestational diabetes and needing to have blood sugar levels monitored, another who had issues keeping his body temperature up. Two beautiful little girls ended up in SCN and having a few tube feeds because they were small for dates and were barely 37 weeks. I didn't see it in my hospital but I've heard of babies needing to be monitored in SCN because mum was GBS positive... Any sign of distress during labour - like meconium being passed? Low apgars? I think that's about all I can think of.

I'm starting to feel a lot better about things now - just having a place to talk through all the issues that have come up has certainly helped. I think I'll have more issues when I see them - not sure if I can handle a hospital visit or not yet.

BW

[Honeybee]

Sorry BW, I re-read what I wrote and it was unclear - I know why they took DS to the neonatal unit (high breathing rate, prob caused by fluid on lungs which turned into an infection), I just don't understand the need to separate us, especially why I had to go back to the room by myself and have dinner when they could have cleaned me up a bit and taken me to him.

Anyway, I'll stop hijacking your thread now - sorry!

Your friend is very lucky to have had an OB who realised what was happening, I hope she's improving and has had a chance to see her baby.

I'm glad that you're feeling a bit better about things now too. I'm sure she'll understand if you don't go to the hospital, that would be pretty confronting.

xxx

[ElleJay]

All I can say is that I'm thinking bout your friend BW - I really really hope she pulls through quickly

And I really hope your ok too I know how much hearing bout something can bring back memories (but mine are usually horrible)