thanks girls, really appreciate it,
its so overwhelmng when its completely unexpected(well i guess its overwhelming even when its not)
ive never been so scared in my life. i know she's going to be fine, but i cant help but worry, especially when i have alittle girl at home who needs her mumma (not to mention a man at home who is going to struggle doing things for himself this week!) and all im doing is laying around in a bed!
My DS coped ok while I was with Kayla. DH gained some appreciation for what my days were like looking after DS, doing washing, keeping on top of the kitchen etc hahaha. We made use of video calling and of course they visited most of the day anyway, so DS & DH coped quite well without me. There was a few rough nights where he wanted me I think, but they got through it.
Try not to worry too much, it's a pretty safe gestation to be having bubs from what I understand (completely uneducated opinion of course haha). It's more a waiting game than anything.. for them to mature a bit to be able to feed well and for things to stabilise. Kayla's apnea was just an immaturity thing and she just needed monitoring, and they keep an eye on blood sugar levels and jaundice. There would obviously be more to it than that but that was my observation from hanging around an SCN for 3 weeks!
The longer your bub stays put the better tho, so I hope bub is still nice & comfy in there! My DS was born at 37 weeks and was considered term, and was fine, just a bit of jaundice.
The main issue you are going to find is that it's around that point that they develop the suck reflex. You may spend some time having tube feeds waiting for bub to get strong enough to be on all suck feeds - you won't be allowed to go home until bub is able to cope with 100% suck feeds and is gaining weight. For both myself and a friend who had a baby born at 36 weeks, the stay was around 10 days. However, both of us came home bottle feeding. My friend was only expressing until her son got big enough to be able to attach properly (around 6 weeks) while I had no milk and had to formula feed. I'm told they tend to come home earlier if you bottle feed, but if I was to do it again (and had milk) I would stay that bit longer to get breast feeding going well if necessary.
The only other real issue we had was low blood sugars - Sam had to have a lot of heal ***** tests checking that they were going ok. With low blood sugar they can't maintain body temperature and don't have the energy to suck. We had no breathing issues, apart from one incident with a NG tube that was too short. It allowed milk to dribble back up and it came out Sam's nose. With one nostril blocked by the NG tube, the other nostril blocked by regurgitated milk, he just simply decided to stop breathing. We spent a few days on monitors but once the tube was changed he was fine.
From talking to friends, the SCN experience can vary greatly depending on whether you are going public or private. I was in a private hospital, had excellent food and remained a patient for the entire 10 days that Sam was in. Another premie mum (35 weeks) was in a public hospital and was boarding (couldn't drive after a c-section) and pretty much had to provide her own food. Both of us had formula pushed, both of us had trouble with each lactation consultant telling us different things.
Sam's upset, so I have to go, happy to answer any questions you may have.
Yeah, there is a push for formula feeds/comps. They are supposed to get your signed consent so remind them of that! I refused to sign but there was still pressure from them. Always ask for alternatives, express express express and save any colostrum you can get.. this will help stabilise sugar levels and is better for bub's tum. Insist on any suck feeds being from the breast too... not from a bottle. I didn't allow any bottle feeds either (I was a tough customer )
Perhaps while you're on bedrest, jump on the phone and get to know a local ABA counsellor that can assist you with feeding/expressing issues. There is a lot of conflicting feeding advice in hospital, a lot of which needs to be ignored!! (well.. I ignored a lot of it anyway hehe)
The thing to remember is that the SCN staff are going to be focussed on the baby. Not you, not the family unit as a whole, not ensuring that you and your baby bond appropriately.
It sucks, and I don't know that there's a way to change the system. But it does help to go in knowing that's the way it's going to be. I didn't know at all and had only about 7 hours between waters breaking and Sam arriving so I had no time to prepare myself physically or mentally for what we were about to face.
If your baby's in an open crib and you want to hold them - DO SO! Don't let the nurses tell you that you can't. If they start on about monitors and stuff, insist they help you around them. We were allowed to have Sam in my room for breif periods when he wasn't on monitors, and I really wish I'd done it more often, rather than only when we had visitors (they did insist that he wasn't picked up and handed around to visitors though, which is understandable).
We did have some initial bonding issues, but I feel that came mainly out of him being an IVF baby, rather than being a prem baby and the initial separation. The inability to breastfeed certainly had an impact there as well. We have certainly overcome them now and all is well. Sam is happy, healthy, thriving... he's gone from being barely on the 3rd percentile for weight at birth (I was just impressed he was on the charts at all!) to now being on the 75th at nearly 9 months old.
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but that was my observation from hanging around an SCN for 3 weeks!
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