My sis being induced tomorrow at 36.5w, baby not doing well. How can I support her?

**Yael** · December 5th, 2012, 04:30 PM

Hey guys,

As the title suggests, my sister is 36.5 weeks, and is being induced tomorrow as the baby is not doing so well on the inside. They told her the baby will spend about 2 weeks in SCN. They are going to try inducing her for a vaginal delivery, but might need a c/s depending on how the baby copes. I've had 2 vaginal deliveries but never had a c/sec, and never had a baby in a SCN. What can I do to support her tomorrow and whilst the baby stays in hospital?

Thanks

**LysnDan** · December 5th, 2012, 04:38 PM

Firstly, congrats to your sis and wishing her all the best for her birth.

Generally they like to give you worse case senario with premmies, so it may be 2 weeks, or shorter! all depends on baby.

Some people aren't sure what to say once a baby is born sick or too early. Congratulations is a great start, as is s/he is beautiful etc.

Some things I was absolutely grateful for while my bub was in NICU and I was stabilising were..

Clean clothes and toiletries and hairbrush or anything I'd forgotten.
Chocolate is another big one (comfort food lol) flowers and cards were lovely too. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. When I got home before my baby I spent more time at the hospital then at home. Frozen meals were an absolute godsend I didn't have to cook, clean etc...

It feels like a lifetime in there!

Hope that helps.

Eta. you're a wonderful sister to her xx make sure you look after you too.

**blessedatlast** · December 5th, 2012, 04:52 PM

Could not have said it better myself!!!! Great advice from PurplePixi..

**Chrispe** · December 5th, 2012, 05:15 PM

Congratulations.

I'll second those suggestions.

**HotI** · December 5th, 2012, 05:18 PM

if she will be seperated from baby, maybe ask if you can get some photos printed for them so she can have a photo with her even if she is away from bub.

**Butterfly Dawn** · December 5th, 2012, 05:30 PM

Sending best wishes for mum and baby xo

**Dansta** · December 5th, 2012, 06:10 PM

best wishes for mums and bubs

I'd suggest getting her some syringes or asking for them - if she can to express some colostorum for bubs - liqward gold even the smallest amounts help a heck of alot.

for bubs in SCN things to hang over the humidi crib - blankets that their "their" blankets would help - did this with Vic in SCN i used a blanket of DJ's so it felt more "homely" maybe some snacks for her too, even a water bottle with in inbuild cooler in it - time in SCN can dry you up! and im not talking about milk. also depending find out how she'll get to and from the hospital after bubs is born too - haveing a roster of people may help too xx

**Three Graces** · December 5th, 2012, 06:25 PM

I haven't had an early bub, so can't comment on that side of things.
I have had 3 c.s, so if she does end up having one - you can be pretty out of it with the drugs for the first 24 hrs. Well,I was anyway. Big nanna undies that sit about the scar are awesome. My DH had to run out and buy some for me.

Any sentence that starts with the words 'at least' just invalidate their experience. So if your sister has an emerg c.s and all is well, try really hard not to say that sentence 'oh well, at least you and the baby are alright'. Even though the intent is good and it's awesome if mum and bub are both doing well, it makes it harder for the mum to feel any disappointment or sorrow for the way that the birth turned out. So if the birth isn't exactly how she pictured it would be, just let her talk and listen to her. No need to say anything at all - just let her have a space to vent it all without trying to get her to 'look on the bright side'. That part comes later. I remember feeling incredibly frustrated in hospital with DS1 and the c.s and a staff member told me off for crying and I ended up telling DH that I had a lot of crying to do when I got home, as I felt really constrained in hospy, especially in a shared room, too.

**LysnDan** · December 5th, 2012, 06:31 PM

Oh, and bring a proper camera. Some SCNs won't allow mobile phones to be on, I know here they don't. She will want lots of photos!

Second a water bottle. And a cheap pack of maternity pads, they are just the right thickness to cover a c sec scar under clothing upon discharge or moving around etc.

A pen and Note Pad was great for me too because I couldn't remember when I had expressed ebm... Or to write things down like phone number for scn so she can call any time from her room.

**Floweryfields** · December 5th, 2012, 06:51 PM

Can I just reassure you that long term SCN may not be necessary - my friend has had two early bubs. The most recent was 4 lb 13 and 5 weeks early. He spent only 11 days in hospital. Bub number 1 was slightly smaller, but slightly further along in gestation and he spent 14 days in hospital.
Both were natural births. And both were spontaneous so steroids weren't given to ripen the lungs which I imagine in your sister's case they would have which will help.
My friend was able to stay at the hospital as she was private so that made her stay easier. If your sister doesn't have private cover she probably won't be allowed to stay for long, so she will need support with that for sure. Providing transport if she needs it, bringing her meals in when she's at the hospital during the day, that kind of thing would be invaluable.

**Traveller** · December 5th, 2012, 07:33 PM

Food is great, I frequently forgot to eat when boytwin was ill which doesn't help breastfeeding.

**forshelby** · December 5th, 2012, 07:53 PM

if she will be seperated from baby, maybe ask if you can get some photos printed for them so she can have a photo with her even if she is away from bub.

Yes! Fabulous idea. I had a photo of DS on my phone. We were separated for 3 days due to my condition. During the moments I was conscious, it helped me to look at the picture on my phone and remember I was fighting for him.

**Yael** · December 5th, 2012, 09:15 PM

Apparently the baby is estimated to be 2.05kg. They are going to start with gel and maybe and ARM, they don't want to use the drip if possible so they don't stress the baby out too much.

Thanks for all the suggestions - I'm going shopping for her tomorrow - she doesn't even have a maternity bra!

She does have private, so hopefully she can stay in hospital, otherwise I will be doing a lot of trips into the city!

**thirdtimelucky77** · December 6th, 2012, 01:34 AM

Firstly congratulations! And I second everything else everyone has said!

On sept 11 I had my identical twins via cs at 33 weeks and 6 days. She's done a brilliant job to get this far!! Mine were born at 1.6 and 1.8kgs - they didn't need recusitation or anything just to fatten up. I got to hold them for 1 minute each at birth and then was unable to see them for two days - I had influenza B and we were both separated in isolation.

My DH took photos 4 times a day and made me a slide show on our iPad. It's hard being on a maternity ward and not having a baby to look after. The upside is that I had time to sleep and recover - don't underestimate this

My babies were in NICU and then SCN for 4 weeks - so your stay may end up being shorter. We were always told at 2kgs they could go home so if the baby is born at 2nd this is a brilliant outcome!!

I treasured company, videos via mobile of my girls in the humicribs, photos, being able to dress them in tiny clothes I had chosen a special blanket I would sleep with after they had lay on it all day ( to smell them) and lots of trashy mags to pass the hours

36.5 weeks is a good outcome try not to lose sight of that Hun.

Good luck xx

**LysnDan** · December 7th, 2012, 02:37 AM

Any news yet, Yael?

**Butterfly Dawn** · December 7th, 2012, 03:06 PM

Hope it all went well

**Yael** · December 7th, 2012, 03:29 PM

Baby arrived about an hour ago. She tried all on yesterday on the drip but nothing happened, so they took her off so she could get some sleep. Things went better today, and she made it through a vaginal delivery with only a little gas! So proud of my sister! Baby had a apgar score of 8, so that's pretty good. She weighed a touch over 2 kg, and is in the SCN. Will update more once I get to visit!