Firstly big squishy for you and your friend. It must be very difficult for you to also comprehend this while pregnant as well.
The food drop off it really good, it just makes things easier, also perhaps other than meals some food they can grab and run with and take with them to the hospital, ie home made trail bars or muesli bars, fruit, banana bread, savoury scones, because being in and out of NICU all day the hospital food can still get tiring and sometimes it is easier to just grab something from a machine.
Some play packs for the boys, if they go to the hospital on occassion, things for them to do, small books, colouring in books etc
How about some gardening, mowing lawns or weeding, can you DH help more with that one, or offer to vacuum the house, fold washing, ironing, wash cars, pick up some groceries, like a box of fresh fruit and vegies, nice bread or somthing along the "everyday tasks". Sometimes it is help with the "smaller" things can take a lot of pressure off.
Could you make a special sign for his isolette, name tag etc and get it laminated? Do you know if she has a journal to write down her thoughts and feelings, it can really help to write things down.
I will think more about it and if I have something else will come back.
Sending hope and courage to their little man xxoo
oh Beema thank you so much!! i have tears streaming down as those ideas are just amazing! so glad that you could also understand my rambling lol!
the snacks for them and the packs for the boys are FANTASTIC tips. i can only imagine how harrowing it is to have a 5 and 2 year old in there (she mentioned that she feels really guilty having them there as they appear to be the only ones with older children...). so no doubt a 'fun activity' pack would go a long way.
i'll have to check out some recipes for tasty and healthy muffins. mebbe also some scones, like cheesy ones and pumpkin ones...
and DH would LOVE to help in the garden. he mentioned how the last time he saw alice they 'hoed' the veggie patch together...i'll get him over there to de-weed...
so with the picture thingy...how big/small? i am thinking a normal photo size?? maybe pic of mum, dad and the boys...she told me how hard she finds it to leave bubs of a night....so maybe that could 'help' keep a piece of her there...
No worries at all hun I am so sorry I made you cry
A5 size would be the maximum for the label, similar to the size of the labels that the hospitals put on the cots with bubs stats on it. Photos of the family is perfect, you can do up a couple and they can rotate them around as well
Beautiful messages/words, like strength, courage, love etc are also nice to integrate and even some for of angel or something to watch over their little boy when they can't be there, DD had a little Panda
must run and pick up DD from Daycare but will be back xxoo
Cassius I've only just read this.....Beema has given you some great suggestions. From my point of view, walking this journey right now your idea about babysitting her boys at home with your DD to play would be a great idea. Right now if DP & I both want to be at the hospital we need to have someone else look after DS and to have someone come to our place is a real help. We don't have to go through the drop off / pick up routine, and if its at night they can put him to bed for us which means we don't have to rush away to get him before he gets too stroppy at night IYKWIM? Plus having other kids around is a great distraction for them.
You're such a beautiful friend for reaching out. Hugs to you xx
beema: i'm going to get DD to do some 'art' (like a name card thingy) for the baby. and then i will go through our photos and get a few laminated. i like the idea of rotation! (he is going to be there for months and months so diversity is the key!).
infinity: oohh i do like the idea of night time babysitting too! DD and her DSs have had sleepovers before together so could be done with relative ease! unfortunately they have just come down with chicken pox so will wait it out for a week then head on over...this way the kids can also play with the neighbours (atm after school they go straight to grandmas, which no doubt is nice, but not what they would normally do ITMS). ohhh this could work!
well I thought i would pop in here and give a bit of an update...
last time i wrote we werent sure if little boy blue was going to make it and what (if any) hope he had beyond those first few weeks.
Well, the good news is that he is coming HOME!! he is now almost 10 weeks old and when he 12 weeks and the parents have finished all their training he will be able to go home with them!
it's going to be a long road, to be sure, but gosh darn it, these babies are amazing fighters! he will be on a tracheotomy at home and will still be on pretty much exclusive continuous feeds, but wow, to be coming home is such a big exciting/daunting/gorgeous step all in one!
AND!!! my best moment came yesterday when i got to up to NICU and give him a cuddle!!! this was the first time that i had seen him. i was going to go a couple of weeks ago but came down with a cold, so kept away from them all. and then yesterday the Big Day came for me! soooo GORGEOUS! *mwah*
I CANNOT wait for him to come home (can't imagine how the parents must be feeling....cause he's not even my baby lol!) and be able to visit and smooch! his mum and I have already booked in loads of couch and cups of tea time lol!
just wanted to send a big thankyou to you guys for the tips and advice. it was really strange being onlookers onto something so difficult but through your advice DH and I took it slow and just let them know once a week (or so) that we were thinking of them (by leaving a message, buying birthday pressies for the kids and dropping around food etc).
now i just need to organise a 'welcome home' gift!!!!
Oh wow hun, what fabulous news it is that he is coming home, so wonderful to hear of another little NICU warrior making the tough journey!!
Going home with a Trach is going to be a lot of work for them, I can PM you some details to pass on as I know another Traech mum who has a bucketload of experience and would be able to help out with any advice or info or just someone who has been there before.
for having cuddles!!!
I am so glad that you were able to do things for them and I am certain that everything you did was hugely appreciated
for you and your friend. It must be very difficult for you to also comprehend this while pregnant as well.
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for having cuddles!!!
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