Okay, starting to get really stressed.....

[*Beema*]

pregnancy is such a difficult time for the parents after experiencing the rollercoaster that comes with having a prem.

Especially as we come out the otherside and have learnt so much about the prem world and suddenly dates, gestations, weights become a focus of our days, we know the "chances" for each gestation, we count days, not weeks, grams not kg.... On top of that we are constantly looking for signs as to whether something is going to happen and we are going to have to travel the same or similar journey again.

I don't have a magical answer that is going to take away your fears and make it all perfect, because the reality is that I have in my own mind similar dates and fears. But what I am focussing on is:

~ Yes we have been there before so if we do have to go through it again, we know a lot more, we understand a lot more and yes it will still be scary but knowledge makes a big difference.

~ I am being monitored closely, we are testing, measuring, on the ball looking for any sign that will indicate that something is changing.

~ I have surrounded myself by family and friends who are supporting me and I know will be able to help and understand a lot more this time.

~ I will be prepared, bags packed early, even if they sit there for 10 weeks, it doesn't matter I will be ready.

~ I have the best OB I could want, she is supportive, proactive and is focussing on getting us as far as possible, she is open with me and not keeping any information from me. I am fully aware of the numerous complications I am already facing, and how we are addressing each one and the impact it will have on my pregnancy and bub. She has been completely upfront that I won't get to term, so we have other dates that we are aiming for.

~ I am focussing on all of the positives, I could easily be sitting in a corner, freaking out, getting stressed about my complications, but I feel that it isn't the best for me and baby, so looking at how far we have come and that yes we have a long way to go, but keeping a positive frame of mind that we will get there, for me where ever that point ends up being I will know that we have done everything in our ability to get to that point.

~ And just like Nickers has suggestioned, smaller milestones and celebrate each one!

Sending you a bucketload of strength and energy as you prepare to focus for what will be a long few weeks, I have confidence that you can go further and for each day, each concern we will be here for you, supporting you both, talking through your fears and praying that you can do this together and pass Charlie's gestation and go a lot further.

Big Squishy

[Rosebud]

Sending you a big

Our journey was plagued with what if's.

What if they had just listened to me at 20 weeks when I knew that something was wrong would I have gone past 25 weeks? What if the paeds had listened to me when I said that there was something wrong with my tiny bubba instead of passing it off as a reaction due to going from vent to cpap? and what if that wonderful nurse hadn't pushed the fact that test needed to be done urgently?

I have learnt that there is no point dwelling on the "what if"factor. It will only drain you of all your energy that you need to focus on getting you through the next minute, next hour, next day.

Good to hear that AB's are onboard, have the Drs discussed steroids with you?

Hoping and praying that bub stays put beyond 28 weeks.

[Sally2]

Thanks girls, you are all so amazing!
Yes, small, achievable goals....though I'm not sure that we could pack the hospital bag just yet, it still feels so far off ( I'm hoping ). 24 weeks coming up....
We also haven't organised anything for new bubs except the 'new' pram that we found in great condition at a garage sale months ago and had to have. I don't think we will until we get to 34 weeks.
Just still holding on to the belief that this time, it will be different.
No steroids unless it looks like bubs will be early, but we do have our scan on Tuesday to see what the cervix is doing, so will know more then if bed rest in Melbourne will be on the cards or if we continue at home as we are doing now. Fingers crossed for long closed cervix, cause Melbourne is a long way from our little boy in Daylesford while his Mum is in hospital....
BIG hugs to Beema, who is going on this same wild ride with us for her second bubba, thank you so much for your amazing support as you have not had the easiest ride either hun
Keeping you posted after our scan

[Early Kids]

I couldn't help but shed a tear I too understand your fears. HUGE and I really hope for a long and closed cervix too. xx