People have NO IDEA about the impact of prematurity! A friend put a FB status up "My cousin's wife is about to have her baby at 28wks"
Someone commented "Woo, hope all goes well"
Umm, there is nothing "Woo" about a premmie baby.. Unless they meant "Whoa"??
Then my friend updated and said the bub had been born weighing 750gms but Mum and bub doing well and someone commented "Glad bubs is well, tiny bubba's are so cute"
There is nothing cute about a 750gm baby! It's scary and traumatising. I know I am probably over reacting, but seriously people have NO CLUE. I remember when I had my boys someone said, wow a short pregnancy, I'm jealous!
The impact prematurity has on the whole family is, well, traumatising, even if the baby does survive. (which at 28wks there is a good chance of)
Ok vent over.. Sending lots of love to this family xxxx
Your not over reacting, but fortunately those people havent been in our world. I use to get really angry at those inconsiderate comments, but then without the life experience they have no measure/understanding of just how scary the prem journey is.
I had friends like that when DS was born, how lucky was I that I didnt get a big belly, that I didnt have to wait to meet DS. In your friends family case, I feel sorry that they dont have friends that they can rely on for support, comments like "tiny bubbas are so cute" would have made me less likely to lean on them for support. Is there anyway you can get in contact with them and offer support from someone who has been through that journey?? There is also a few pages on facebook that send prem bubs hospital gowns, you give them the name of hte hospital and they send them directly. A little cherub like that would need hand made clothes for so long
I hear you. I was astounded at the comments a dear friend got from so many people when her DS arrived at 25 weeks. Absolutely astounded. Some people just don't get it at all.
I hear you blessed.. My friend had her baby at 26 weeks and beating all the odds his now an adorable 2 yr old but he has alot of disabilities and still has shunts and tubes everywhere..
It was hard for my friend and I don't see how anyone thinks that a mum of a premmie is lucky? There is so much they have to deal with and the worst case is the child losing their fight to survive..
I think sometimes though they aren't sure how to react, but I think also some just don't think and realize the effect their words can have..
Gl to your friend and her new bubba.. I hope they can get through the hard times and enjoy the lovely times even more..
I don't know what to say.......I actually feel like screaming! Do they have any idea the trauma that goes with spending day in, day out, back and forth to the hospital and on days watching your child possibly fight for their life and most likely on more than one occasion? Not to mention the number of test, not being to hold your child whenever you want and the ongoing medical issues bub could be faced with once they head home. My heart aches for families that have to go though the premmie journey.
I got a lot of comments like that when my two tiny ones where born.
I think the worst comment someone made was how lucky I had to have my baby to cuddle already... he was born at 25 weeks I didn't get to hold him for 3 weeks!!
I wish there bub a smooth journey through the NICU...with many more ups than downs.
I hope she finds the site you passed on, it is a huge help to have support from people that have been through it.
Had two comments similar last night when telling friend what i experienced. Nearly yelled at her. How can we be lucky to not cuddle or babys like they do or take them home when we leave. Its not a guarantee that if they survive will be perfectly normal some people just have no idea.
Most of my friends had no idea what to say. We are the first to have babies that they know. Some haven't even acknowledged his birth. And others were too happy that i balled when they congratulated me. Others kept asking why he wasn't with me when they visited on the rare occasion i was at home. People just don't realize what premi mums and dads go through.
Ok. Not to be terrable here (my bub was a 30 week premmie) but little bubs are cute. Naturally all babies are. A friend of ours had a 5.6 kg baby and whilst he was cute to me he wasn't a newborn. Where as little bubs look like babies and are cuter. Regardless of full term or not
Hope bub is well and they have a speedy time in the nicu
I get what you mean being in pre labour now at 32 weeks is scary!! As much as I'd love them out (being 152cm tall and usually less than 50kgs it's taking it's toll!) but I know the sensible thing is to try our hardest to keep them baking longer.
After having a 25 weeker myself and for it to end up not one of the happy survival stories breaks my heart when you read people so early being happy to be in labour etc without think through what's on the other side
I think people could be happy because they don't know what it means. It's a general feeling when people have a baby. My friends were excited when I had mine but none of us knew what it all meant until it happened. Plus unless you have been there what do you say? I think the comments are fairly normal responses. I received similar comments 'congrats, great news, wow that's little and early' to name a few.
Dont be hard on them. Maybe offer your help. Write something on the fb status saying 'congrats on the baby, hope everything is ok, having had a premmie I know what's in store and the scary ride so if there's anything I can do to help your cousin let me know'.
I agree with olp, they most likely don't understand what it means to have a premmie and the daily battles you have. I don't think a lot of my friends realise the struggles we had with a 34 weeker let alone a 26 weeker. Only my really close friends who came to visit really understand.
DD was born at 34 weeks with IUGR. She measured only 30-31 weeks when born.
She also had all of her small and part of her large intestine out.
I still get comments about how lucky I am that I didn't carry her "for very long". Hello!? I had 2-3 scans a week for AGES. My pregnancy went FOREVER!! I spent more time in hospital then at home, it felt like!
And comments about how tiny she was and and how when explaining how bad her stomach was "oh well. they can do so much for babies these days". That doesn't make the condition any less life threatening!!
Oh so lucky about no sleepless nights cause DD waas in hospital for 6 weeks. I still had to get up to express.
God I hate people sometimes.
The prem journey is NOT FUN!!!
Its so hard and heartbreaking. Its one of the worst things a parent can go through
i don't think you're over-reacting at all, sadly i think people are extremely naive about babies born early. i think because of the advances we've had in technology and knowledge, they must assume that if babies are born, they will survive. but the reality is, premature babies are extremely fragile, and all the technology and knowledge in the world still isn't a guaruntee they will survive your poor friend, i really hope her bubba pulls through, she will probably have a long and tough road ahead of her xxx
Just a lil vent...
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he was born at 25 weeks I didn't get to hold him for 3 weeks!!
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