Thanks everyone so much,

just one more thing - do you think that a secondhand monitor would be ok? There are a few on Ebay in the Angelcare brand 201, 301 and now the 401 (which is new and is about $300).

Would you say a second would be ok rather than buying brand new or would you buy brand new?

Dh is not keen on sharing our bed or room with bub TBH it doesn't bother me either way at this stage but that may change when bubbie is here with us. Also with the 20 min alarm thing did that bother anyone when they were trying to get rest?

sounds silly but I clearly have no idea