I'm sorry for your previous loss.

I'm also sorry to hear that you have so much mistrust of health care professionals. I don't know if this stems from any other previous experiences besides your pregnancy loss but if so perhaps it would be helpful to discuss it with someone.

I hope you have the pregnancy outcome you desire and can find a care provider (eg. midwife) who you're happy to work with without compromising your health or that of your pregnancy/baby.