When people ask you how many babies you have?

This has started to become a real problem for me now that I've started taking Kate to groups. I get all the usual questions, what's her name?, how old is she? and also is she your first?

I've been asked this twice at the group so far and I always have doubts about the answer I gave once I get home. The first time I answered "yes kind of" and then went on to explain that our oldest had died, but when I got home I felt horrible how dare I say Kate was my first when she isn't. The second time I was asked if Kate was my first I simple said no my second and didn't explain anything, but when I got home I still felt bad, I don't just have 2 babies I have 4.

It just seems what ever I say I feel bad about and so I'm wondering what you say when you're asked this and how you deal with second guessing your answers in hind sight.