Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - January 2010

Kelly That is wonderful news that you now have some answers. Lets hope a very sticky BFP is on the way for you very soon.

Spring WOOHOO to Ollie. What a proud mumma you must be atm. Your boys are both doing so so well and you are sounding amazing ;)

Janie Good luck for your appt tomorrow.

Willow how is everyone today? Have been thinking about you all :hug:

Bonham I'm a swimming teacher.I love it most days but Thursday is my worst day that I'm there :rolleyes:

Lee I had to giggle at your status. Sage went through a stage of doing that every time we put him in the bath. Thankfully he's over that now lol. Although a lot of little kids at work do that as soon as the hit the water Ewwww. Lucky for swim nappies :rolleyes:

We've had another doozy of a storm tonight. I hope everyone is ok in Sydney as you girls copped it pretty bad according to the news up here a short while ago.

Go Ollie, well done! (I swear Jett will be the only 18yo still in nappies in the world hahahahaha)

Lee, ah the poo submarines. My two elder lads have done it on a few occasions. Jett just quietly hops out and leaves his poor brother/s to discover it; then tells me he poo'd when I go running to find out why they are screaming like banshee's. Ripley on the other hand completely melts down and gets out of the bath so quick with all the screaming and ewwing he can muster; you'd think it was someone else's crud :rofl: Im a mean mama and find it quite funny so instead of helping him I just laugh and laugh. Considering this is the kid who finds flatulence belly-jiggling funny and thinks the sun shines out my botty because Im not adverse to the old 'Hey Rip Ive got something to tell you'........and proceeds to fart on his head :redface: (when in Rome right!)

Boys are awesome. They truly are.

(Im betting your DD handled it with the utmost class and style right?)

Kel, it is so great that your doctor is on top of things. Why do they want you to wait to take the aspirin? I was always put on 81mg while TTC because it really doesn't do any harm.

Lee, your FB post was funny! Grayson did that once at my mom's house and now he does it to me all of the time. My SIL has also had a problem with her DD doing that on and off.

Janie, good luck at your OB. I will keep my fingers crossed for a nicely growing bub! glad to here that he/she is nice and active for you.

Spring, Yay for being TT! A lot less nappies to buy :)



AFM, 8 days until testing if I can wait that long.

Lee: Poos in the bath, oh the joys. Last time DS did one he told me it looked like a turtle, pretty accurate if you ask me.

Freya: :ROFL: your boys sound awesome, I agree, boys are just so much fun.

Mako: Those summer storms are pretty scary. We used your trick a few nights ago and told DS it was the Elephants falling out of bed but he insists it was the Giraffes (lol).

Laney: Hope the next 8 days fly by.

I've been thinking. I'm coping so much better this time then I did with O. I think it was the isolation of living away from family and the emotional stress of having a stillbirth that really got me to a bad place. I hate to admit it but if you compare how I feel now to how I feel then I'd have to say I would have been pretty close to having depression. I need to work through this. I feel very guilty that perhaps I wasn't the best Mum for O but at the time I did what I needed to do to get by. I guess I just need to get it figured out in my head.

Lv Spring xx

Laney - Not sure why I have to wait to take the asprin... she just said to start taking it as soon as I get a positive preg test!! God, I hope it happens soon.. I just really want to get back there and see if it makes a difference.

Spring - Woo Hoo!!!! I'm soooo jealous. I'm starting to ramp up the TT but DS is still sooooo NOT really interested. He's sitting on the toilet now but still won't even think about doing anything on there and the other day, he sat there for a while, then got up and before I could get a nappy on him... he started weeing on the carpet.. of all places!! Damn it. If only we'd got it in the toilet.

Lee - hehehe.. we've only had a couple of water poos... yuck!!

Freya - I have another one here that will be in nappies when he's 18!!!!!

Janie - Looking forward to hearing how your appointment goes today!

Well... we've officially started TTC again and I'm a little nervous.. but the ob said it was ok!! Just seems way too soon after the D&C to DTD but hey, if the dr says it's ok, then that's good enough for me!! As much as I'm sure it won't happen immediately.. there's such a big part of me that is desperately praying for a miracle.. how amazing would it be to get pg so quickly again... although with everything still so fresh.. maybe it will make it even more stressful/harder. Oh well, I'm definitely one for jumping in the deep end, so we'll just see what happens. Whatever is meant to be, will be.

Kel xxx

Kelly - I got pregnant right after a d&c for a missed m/c without even getting a period. We werent even trying, just waiting to get AF back after everything; TBH I cant even rememer when we dtd but Im pretty sure it was a tipsy one-off around christmas/new year :lol: The end result is Jett. I guess what Im trying to say is if TTC now is what will help you move forward then do it, most Drs recommend waiting for psychological reasons. It wont neccisarily turn out for the worst! It was a tense 12 weeks and we had the additional hiccup of twins (we lost one unfortunately but with hindsight it was due to hormone issues I didnt know I had) but I would not change any of it.

Thanks Freya! There seem to be a few similar stories in here of people getting pg straight after a D&C, without waiting for AF!!! So fingers crossed.... I just can't believe I'm going through all this again.....

Just some information I found that may clear up what the blood results are and what they mean.

Advances in immunology, the study of the body's defense systems, enable us to understand how during pregnancy, the mother's immune system is altered so that the fetus is not rejected by her body and allows the fetus to grow.

When the immune system is the cause of miscarriage, the chances of mother having a successful pregnancy without treatment after three miscarriages is 30%, after four miscarriages 25%, and after 5 miscarriages 5%.

With each pregnancy loss, there is a 10% chance that the mother will develop an antibody to a phospholipid molecule. Most women with antiphospholipid antibodies are not sick. However, some have underlying autoimmune tendencies and should be appropriately evaluated. Women with underlying autoimmune diseases may have antiphospholipid antibodies even before they ever become pregnant.

Antiphospholipid antibodies are treated with low dose (baby) aspirin and a blood thinner called Heparin. Heparin is a very large molecule and is unable to cross the placenta. Aspirin is able to cross the placenta but the dose used is so small that the fetus is unaffected. The effectiveness of treatment is much greater when the medication, if indicated, is started prior to conception and continued throughout the pregnancy.

Women with ANA are treated with prednisone, a corticosteroid, which suppresses the inflammatory process and stabilizes the cell. Prednisone does not pass through the placenta easily and is also broken down by enzymes in the placenta so that the fetus is exposed to only trace amounts. Additionally, the body produces the equivalent of 8 mg per day of this corticosteroid. When indicated, Prednisone should be started prior to conception.

If you google ana antibody in pregnancy there is the site I got this from plus more.

Man, I am soooooooooooo grumpy today :angry: Children not sleeping. Sick of being touched when it is really just being grabbed / climbed on / attacked. Can't eat in peace / sleep in peace / go to the toilet in peace :wall: Very happy to be going to work - I think. Not sure the people there will agree if I don't snap out of it. Blah!!!! I hate feeling this way. It gives me a headache.

Kelly: i just wanted to let you know it is possible to fall soon after a loss, i had my loss in November and then had AF in December and it would seem conceived over Christmas. It's still scary early days for me but i wanted to give you hope it can happen :hug:

Janie: goodluck at your OB appt today

Mako: swimming teacher, thats a great job, i'd come to your lessons if i didnt live so far away. Need to try and get DD back into swimming just havent had the time or money since moving. DD loved her lessons and the teachers were awesome with the kids. I hope the storm wasnt too bad.

Laney: fingers crossed the next 8 days go quickly :hug:

Spring: good to hear you seem to be coping better this time around :hug:

Michelle: thanks for that information and sending some big :hug: to you hun

Hmmm Poos in the bath, DD never did one when we did have a bath (the house we're in atm only has a shower) but she would always fart in the bath :lol:

DD isnt much interested in TT after our little success the other week, but i just ask her throughout the day if she needs to go and she says no. I'm not going to force the issue, she's done things in the past when she wanted to/was ready to so we'll just see how it goes.

Spring, I have been thinking something similar for the past few months. I was very depressed after I had Grayson...well probably way before I had him too. When he was about 4 months old I just all of a sudden felt so much better. I didn't even realize how bad I was until it was gone. I feel like i would have enjoyed the first 4 months with Grayson more if i felt better. I know that I cuddled him and loved him even with the depression. I think what is bothering me is that my memory of what should have been such a happy time has been forever tainted by my depression. I can never get that time back. I am also very nervous that it will happen again if we have another bub.

Thanks for the info Michelle.. might have a bit more of a look into it. Sounds like maybe I should be taking the asprin while TTC but then again, maybe I should just trust my ob a bit more!!! She did a lot of testing and it sounds like I might only have a mild case of it and she's not even sure that it's what is causing my m/c becuase the one I had in August was investigated further and the result was an extra chromosone, so it would not have been viable anyway.. just bad luck!

So frustrating.

Kel xxx

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I hate to admit it but if you compare how I feel now to how I feel then I'd have to say I would have been pretty close to having depression. I need to work through this. I feel very guilty that perhaps I wasn't the best Mum for O but at the time I did what I needed to do to get by. I guess I just need to get it figured out in my head.

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Honey, that could be me talking about my boys. I feel the EXACT same way. Some days the guilt almost kills me :hug: You know what though, we need to give ourselves a break. You had been through hell and back before having O, so it's no wonder you were a bit anxious and found things a bit hard. And neither of our big boys were great sleepers and I think that makes it hard too. Sleep deprivation is a killer. I have found it so much easier this time around but D is a much better sleeper (well was :wall: not so great just at the moment) and is just so placid and laid back.

Doesn't mean that we love our big boys any less or that we weren't good mums to them. They're loved, they're happy and healthy and we do the best we can for them every day. :hug:

IUGR baby :(. Just waiting to see Max now, will update later.

Oh Janie - honey let's know how you go okay? Sending a big cuddle and lots of love. :hug:

Janie - I don't know what that means?? :( I hope everything is OK :hug:

Janie is saying her baby has "intra uterine growth retardation"... The baby isn't growing as it should. It is often due to the placenta not working optimally... Often the baby needs to be born. I would assume that there will be dopplers done to guage the flow to the placenta - some bloods and possibly bed rest. :hug:

Jayne: I'm so sorry hun that you are going through this. I hope with all my soul that bub is fine and that by the end of the day you have a plan in place to get bub here safe and sound :hug:

Willow/Laney: Thanks for sharing your experiences guys. I helps to know I'm not the only one IYKWIM.

Spring xx

Oh no :(

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Often the baby needs to be born.

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Isn't 30 weeks way too early?? I know Immy was born at 28 but 30 is so early :(

Janie - I'm praying that everything will be OK and this little one will stay put at least a few more weeks.