Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - January 2010

Janie: just checking in on you babe. Hope your monitoring went well. By the sounds of it you got EBM offers everywhere but if you need anymore just let me know and I'll start stockpiling.

Bun: how cute is the pic of J in your ticker.I've been meaning to do my Birth story. Sounds like you need to debrief babe. When you're ready I'm all ears.

Jayne: I guess I should expect accidents but he was going so well I had a false sense of security ( lol)

Freya: I know you've got heaps on your mind about uni but I have every faith in you.

Well I'm almost sure it isn't impetigo. Looks nothing like the pictures online. Looks exactly like C pox to me. Just have to wait to see the dr.

Still stalking Janie...........

Kelly got a message from her not too long ago. All ok today. Hopefully she will let us know the details herself but she is fine - and it saved me finding my phone to send a message too ;)

Quietly going mad here. 4 more sleeps ...............

Oh wow I have been sooooooooo worried but I was trying to be mature and calm! :lol: Thankyou so so much Michelle. :hug:

Sweet darling I can only imagine how you are feeling. 4 more sleeps... :hug:

Mature???? Calm????? Not words in my vocabulary :rofl: I don't think she realises there is a bunch of mother hens clucking over her and she is making us wait - and cluck more!!!! We do a good impersonation of mature and calm for a while though ;)

Actually Deb - a little bit of reading (someone sent me a very valuable gift :hug:) and a bit of meditating and a little time communing with nature have helped. Just letting it fall out of my hands. I have no control over this. What will be, will be. We will deal with the results when they arrive.

Having said that I am far more grumpy than usual and I don't tolerate fools well (DH would say this isn't a new thing ;)) but I am trying to let the negative thoughts move out and keeping the hope and prayers with me. We went for a walk as a family tonight after the little people had dinner and it was just lovely. To view the world through the eyes of a toddler is a very precious gift indeed.

:hug: :rofl: :hug: :lol:

Hello lovelies, i'm sorry, last night was very hectic. We were late home because we ended up seeing max as well. And then i had issues getting online, page wouldn't load etc. All okay though, as michelle/kelly said :). Will update properly when i'm up for the day!

Janie So pleased all is ok. I was secretly stalking without posting ;)

Michelle It must have been the night for family walks last night as DH,myself,Sage and our dog all went walking too. Was very nice and we said we're going to do it again tomorrow night as tonight DH plays basketball and I'm not taking 2 legged boy and 4 legged boy on my own lol. I must admit I felt so much better after we came back.

AFU Sage has been doing wee's on his potty for the last week. He's doing really well but am not pushing the issue. Just leaving his nappy off after breakfast and letting him do his thing lol. He often goes by himself and he empties his potty into the toilet and sits down and does another wee lol. I was a bit worried cos he'd ask to go out the back to wee (been watching the dog :rofl:) and would refuse to go on the potty until last Tuesday afternoon. But now he's happy to go and he thinks he's soooo clever and runs upto me for a "high 5" We haven't tried with #2's yet though.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday and all the kiddeis have a great 2nd day at big school.

:grouphug: :hug: :hug: :grouphug:

Just thought we all needed a few of those.. god knows I do!!

Janie - I was so releived to get your message last night.. I have to say I wasn't mature or calm either... :doh: I had to send Michelle a message on FB to see if she'd heard from you but thankfully your message came through while I was chatting to her!! Looking forward to hearing the update and hope you're hanging in there.

Michelle - Thanks for updating everyone.. I didn't get the chance to pop back on here. I have to say that I'm sooo impressed with the way you're dealing with all this.. I can't imagine how hard it is. Only a few more days to get through.. I hope you stay busy.. and shop up a storm!!! My prays are certainly with you..:pray:

Spring - Good luck.. let us know what the dr says!

Bun - Hope you're doing ok and know that we're all here for you if and when you need to talk some more! :hug:

Jo - Have added you on FB and have to say Sophie is the most gorgeous little girl!! Hope you're hanging in there.

Mako - Good luck for your appointments... particularly next week with Dr S.. I'm looking foward to hearing all about it and hope you get some 'answers' and a 'plan of attack'!!

AFM - I'm feeling a bit weird today.. just not happy... but I guess I'm going to have days like this. I've got playgroup this morning though so I'm pretty sure that will help lift my spririts... then DH is out at a work dinner tonight.. and tomorrow night... then he's away for work quite a bit over the next couple of weeks... I just hate it when he's away... and I don't even have my Mum to go visit. On a happier note, we're off to Geelong this weekend.. DH is doing the half ironman.. he's a bit crazy but it's great.. I love it!! We're staying there for 2 nights.. so that will be nice. Oh and I got Luke into daycare.. he's starting next week - Yippee :hooray: Finally I can have a hair cut, eye brow wax and all those lovely things that it's just too hard to do with a toddler!!!!

Kel xxx

Janie - Glad to hear all went good :dance:

Mako - :clap: Way to go Sage, clevef little boy.

Kellym - lol i know that feeling, ahh the joys of just having one day to yourself to do the girly things. Hope you enjoy playgroup today, and it helps brighten your day.

Spring - Hope you hear from your doc soon, both impetigo and c.pox aren't fun for the kids :(

Anyway off to drop the boy at school :dance:

Janie: great news. TBH I wasn't freaking out. I'm trying the ' no news is good news' approach.

Michelle: only 3 sleeps now Hun. So glad you enjoyed an evening walk with your adorable family.

Mako: WTG DS! It will just click with the #2's before long. It's so nice not having to change todler pokey nappies.

Kelly: I hope your day gets better. If you do go to mother's group I hope you have a nice time.

Busy day here, about three lots of visitors. I've warned them about O's spots but no one is concerned. Hopefully the Dr will give us an answer. O is immunised against c pox but it isn't unusual to get a small case. Only 3 spots so far. Luckily I've has it so B should be protected through my BM. Oh and I started weight watchers yesterday. Dh is doing it also which makes it so much easier. I need to shift 3 lots of baby weight.

Hi to everyone

Spring xx

HI all,

Janie - glad things are ok hun.. bubs will be ok, just hang in there :hug:

Kelly - whoo hoo on day care, its so important to have "me" time. Ive just got DD into occasional care - she is starting on Monday for 3 hours - im a bit nervous but hoping she will be ok as i intend to put her in a full day of care once she adjusts to the occasional care.

Bun - I think getting it all down and out of your head will really help you deal with the birth :hug:

Michelle - you amaze me, going through so much yourself yet so concerned for everyone else. Im really praying for some wonderful results come Friday :pray:

Spring - hope O is ok and good luck with WW! Im eager to loose weight as soon as I have this bubba.

Gotta go - DD is calling from bed! BBL for more persies

Love and hugs to all xx

Lisa - being concerned about someone else means I don't have to think about me. De-Nile is a most amazing place to live and Janie is certainly helping me stay there ATM :lol: Anyway, there's no point getting my knickers in a twist yet ;) 3 more sleeps ............

Janie: so good to hear your news.

Spring: Hope DS is ok and the Dr can shed some light on what he's got. Goodluck with WW.

Kelly: thanks for lovely comment about Sophie, i checked out your photos also your DS is so cute loved the monkey cake too did you make it?. :hug: hun. YAY that you got DS into daycare and can have some pampering done. Enjoy Geelong on the weekend goodluck to your DH.

Bun: good to hear from you, sounds like your house has been pretty busy.

Mako: WTG Sage!!, sorry i had a little giggle when he said he wanted to go out the back to wee. Hope you have a lovely day too.

AFM: i'm trying to keep busy so doing washing and other housework today, i got me Snapfish order in the mail yesterday and had to organise the photos as they didnt come in the right order then i put them in albums and ran out of room so need to buy more photo albums tomorrow plus i need to write in the photo albums. I'm trying not stress or worry and just trying to keep thinking that this pg is just different because they can be different. 1 more day until my scan.

Have a lovely Tuesday ladies, hope it's not too hot where you are xox :grouphug:

Janie - Glad everything is OK :hug:

Bun - :hug: hope doing your birth story help you come to terms with things.

Spring - Hope DS is OK. GL with the WW :)

mako - Yay Sage, what a clever boy!

Rach - Glad to hear school went well.

Kelly - :hug: my DH travels a lot for work too and I hate it. Hope you get through OK and have a lovely weekend and enjoy your me time.

Hi everyone else, sorry for the lame persies, typing one handed here ;)

How much of a sook am I? I dropped DD1 at school today and got all upset - not because she was, she was fine and happy to go, but because there were all these other kids crying and clinging to legs :( Poor little things I felt so sorry for them, hope they got through the day OK. DD1 did well yesterday though thankfully, had a nice day at school and got to have a little "party" last night, KFC for dinner LOL

Hi everyone, thanks for your lovely messages :D

Yep, CTG still took ages yesterday, an hour and fifteen minutes, but baby put on a show in the end! I actually had a patient of mine doing it, she was so lovely, and sat with us the whole time with her hand on the monitor, moving around when bub did so we didn't lose the trace. She said there are not as many variables (?) as they would perhaps like to see, but all in all it was fine. We then went up to our Ob's office to tell his receptionist that we would be in to see him on a different day than planned because our monitoring days have changed. She said we may as well see him then while we were there, so we did, which was great. We had a good chat about things, the birth etc, what he's looking for, reiterating what I need to be doing etc. He did say he is puzzled as to why the growth retardation is so severe, when the only problem they can find is not that significant. Who knows! Any how, I'd better go back to the couch before I get into trouble :lol:

Lots of love to everyone, paticularly Michelle, thinking of you lots lovely xoxo

Well that's good Janie my love! You get back to the couch & I am so happy that this little one is doing the right thing! Big cuddles xxxx

Kelly: OMG you've been RAK'd i just noticed when i came in here.

Janie: good to hear that baby put on a show in the end :hug: rest up hun

Janie - Good to hear bub is doing well :hug:

Michelle - :hug: 3 more sleeps...

Megsmum - I got upset today too! I was fine yesterday. But I'm really missing her today. DH is back at work (he took the day off yesterday) and the boys sleep for a big chunk of the day and I'm feeling a bit lonely. I'm sure I'll be over it by about 3.30pm though! :lol: And I must admit, the house is always so much cleaner when she's not here! She is such a messy little thing.

Mako - Woooot! Go Sage!!

Question for you all having success with TTing your boys...how did you do it? Yes, I have done this before with DD but feel a bit lost this time around! He is happy to sit on the toilet on and off (we have a special seat for it) so do I just take his nappy off and hope for the best? I've done that before but it always ends in an accident. I'd really like him TT'd sometime soonish if I can manage it. I don't want to wait until next summer because he'll be nearly 3 then and starting preschool (:o)

Having a bit of a 'meh' day today so will bbl when I'm in a better mood. Thinking of you all though.

Sorry W cant help you because Ive had to wait til J was 3 before I could get him to stop having accidents everytime he got put in undies. He just didnt "get" it til now iykwim. Most tt-ing books say to just let them run around nuddy and ask them at consistent intervals eg every 15min if they need to go potty/or sit them on it even if they dont do anything.

A musical potty :rofl: He was so excited when he did a wee and everyone could give instant feedback (without watching in the toilet bowl :rolleyes:) that he took to it instantly. Also - going commando. If we wear undies we have accidents. If we go commando we have no accidents. Go figure :dunno: I think having undies on feels similar to having a nappy.

Poos took longer and he is still more likely to go when he has a pull-up or nappy on but the past week has been a huge step forward in that regard too.

BBL - smelly daughter :lol:

OMG... I'm so touched that someone has RAK'd me... was it someone in here??? I'm sooooo grateful and I have to say it bought tears to my eyes!! Thank you so very much to whoever it was.. I hope I find out so I can thank you a bit better!!! It's so exciting.. I've just sent off my request for an avatar... so we'll see what happens!!!

Willow - DS will be 3 in May and we're not having any luck at all with TT. I can get him to sit on the toilet... sometimes. Mainly when I bribe him with treats.. which is probably not a good thing. He still hasn't done anything yet through and when I put undies on him or let him run around nudie.. he just wee's all over the place... and usually on the carpet... not great as we're in a rental!!! Oooppps. So I'm a bit stuck too.. don't really know what to do. I've just given up again and keep talking to him about it.. hoping that one day he'll ask to go??? I don't know!! I'd love him to be TT too though.. most of his friends are (but most of them are girls too)!!

Mako - WTG Sage.. fantastic!!! Now can he come and teach Luke!!!!

Megsmum - How sweet that you got upset for all the other kids.. that will be me too!!!

Jo - Yep.. I made the monkey cake and was pretty damn proud of it too!!! Thanks for noticing it!! LOL. I'm a snapfish addict too and have all of luke's photos in albums. Just placed another order last week.. so should get it soon!! Not many people seem to do that anymore!!

Well.. I went to playgroup and it was crazy... lots of new people which is great.. more 'potential' friends - LOL. Certainly cheered me up.. as did the RAK!!! Still can't believe someone would do that for ME... ME... wow. I don't get much for me anymore. And I have to say.. I think I've been feeling a bit down because NONE of my friends back in Perth have called or even sent me a message to see how I'm going or how my appointment with the ob went. It's a bit disappointing.. not even my SIL has asked and I just spoke to her on the phone before. I hung up and was like "yeah... I'm fine.. thanks for asking"!!!!! Sorry, just had to get that out.

I feel ok again now!! Oh and after playgroup we went and did a food shop and poor Luke was sooo exhausted from running around at playgroup that he pretty much fell asleep in the shopping trolley!! It was so funny, he couldn't keep his little eyes open and his poor head hit the frame of the trolley a couple of times. Couldn't help but laugh!!!

Kel xxx

Hi lovelies,
Had a quick read, glad things are 'level' in here - level is still good !

Michelle, you're hanging in there great hun, when will you get your results, assuming you will opt for the fast-track? I so do think all is fine, especially given your attitude is so good, we are all holding your hand xo

Janie - just keep doing what you are doing, and tell that baby to take some fat off you for him/herself! If I could transfer some your way, I would. When do you get your next ctg? Hoping baby stays put just a couple more weeks, the more the better, hugs xo

Spring - you are sounding one relaxed mumma, glad your DS2 is going so well with the TT and DS3 is being adorable as ever - perhaps DS1 has a hand to play in both? I would like to think so xo

Lisa - holy cow your ticker has excelerated!

Bon - good luck for your scan tomorrow.

Bun - good to hear from you hon. Well done on surviving the in-laws - visitors are only good if they are useful, glad you sister has been a help. Don't worry you will cope on your own "somehow" - I know it's tough - I'm down here in Tassie on my own with 4 of them - as I said a couple of months back - 2010 is the year of "survival" and at the end of each day when I crawl exhausted into bed, I think I survived another day - and now that Flynn is sleeping a bit more at night, I'm starting to feel a bit more human - it's still incredibly full on, but being full on with a bit of sleep is better than without! Hope you are feeling better soon, thats been tough for you, recovering from J's birth. Write it out - I have not got there yet, but Flynn's birth went well, so I guess I don't have the need to get it out there. Take care hon xo

Deb - how are you going with your little people back at school? I know what you mean about the school day being so short - I think it would be better 9-5pm four days a week!

Mako - how you doing hon back at work - I hate the morning rush too, and look for ways to avoid it if possible ;)

Willow - sorry you are struggling with your dd at school, but the house staying clean for 5 mins is a small upside!! It's tough when the little ones start flying the coop, hugs hon xo By the way, thanks for the useful info on the mirena - I now have one sitting in my drawer, just waiting for me to make an appointment with my Ob - he did say it was a fairly 'uncomfortable' procedure - and I'm really putting it off - how did you find the placement? I'm such a wimp! But I know I'm O'ing the moment, so must get on and make that call soon!! How are you finding the mirena now, are things still settled down?

AFM - my eldest DD starts high school in the morning. I'm already teary and emotional - not so much because she's starting high school, but that her Dad is missing out AGAIN on such a big milestone for his girl. It really sucks, and I will never get used to it (for those of you who don't know, my first DH died in 2002, when DD was only 4 years old) - I just find times like this so horrible and sad and tough - I HATE how much he has been ripped off, as have we all.... sorry but had to get that out....

On a lighter note - my little ones are doing fine, how nice they have both currently been asleep for 2 hours - can't believe how much I've got done!

Hi to everyone I missed !

Lee xo

Kelly - my 3yo was the king of nappies up until last week! He's 3yr 4mths and FINALLY ready to toilet train. Its been amazing, he went from 4 accidents the first day to 2 the second day and then NONE the last 2 days. He's even been great with it at kindy and we've done two shopping trips with no wet pants and even a pee on a public potty. Its like a switch flicked and he finally gets it. Its been super easy so Im glad we waited til he was really ready. I used to feel so bad harrassing him about going potty then feeling like a failure when he had many a accident. Cant be fun for the kiddos either. Some kids do it young, other wait til they are ready and then TT overnight. Sometimes I think people forget its NORMAL for kids, esp lazy boys :lol:, to not toilet train until 3 or 4.

So I vote just leave it, you might find like my lad a few months after he is 3 he'll just suddenly decide its time to ditch the nappies and youll be off and running :)

Lee - :hug:

Lee - I actually didn't find the placement too bad. Yes, it was uncomfortable but for me it was more embarrassing than uncomfortable having my Ob with his face in my hoo ha for that long at that close proximity iykwim??!! :redface: I know he's seen it before delivering my boys but it's just different when you're not in agonising pain you know? :lol: He has a warped sense of humour too and his comment "oh yes, I remember you!" did not help! :rofl: He has this whizz bang chair too and I'm not lying when I tell you I was pretty much standing on my head in that thing!!

I had spotting/bleeding for about 6 weeks and that has completely settled now. Nothing since. I have been getting headaches and I'm not sure if that's related because they started at around the same time. But it could also just be the hot weather and me not drinking enough, I seem to get them on really hot days. Other than that...all good.

Kelly - Pretty awesome to be RAK'd huh?? I got RAK'd by two different people last time. I still don't know who they were!! :think:

KELLY _ You forget that I sent you a message! LOL Do I not count anymore??? LOL

ANNA _ So glad Jett is finally getting into the groove of things with the TT! That's awesome. You getting excited bout Uni? I think you're going to LOVE it! Plus obviously your boys are going to give you lots of 'work experience'.

SPRING _ You know what? I love reading your posts & hearing how much your thriving as a person with little B. It's so lovely to hear & you seem to be so blissed out & stressfree (apart from the spots of course). It's just wonderful! I'm so glad. Had to laugh about the extra weight, Claudia is almost 3 & I'm still carrying her PLUS Jessica's pregnancy weight around. Well most of it anyway. I'm doing WW online as well, so we can brag about our losses each week! Monday is my weigh day & I lost 0.7kg. I have lost 5.9kg all up. It wasn't shifting for AGES but I have really upped my exercise & totally cut down my food & wa-la! it's coming off! YAY!

WILLOW _ I agree, let L go nuddy to get the gist of things, undies/knickers usually spells lots of accidents to begin with. It's warm enough & you never know, he might just get it really easy, esp if you can use the 'you will be a big boy like V is a big girl' reverse psychology thing.

LEE _ Oh darl, I had no idea, it must be so hard on you & esp your DD. Does she have many memories? I hope her day is very special for her & I'm sure her Dad is watching & is very, very, very proud!

AFM _ Very tired Jessica today, school 2 days in a row is taking it out of her, so I totally get the half days now! But no sooner do I drop her off, but she needs picking up again! LOL. Oh & Claudia went back to swimming lessons today & passed her level in one lesson! How proud am I??? :dance:

Love Jayne x

Oh Jayne... of course you count :redface: LOL... took me a while to realise what message you were talking about!! LOL.

You've been more a friend to me lately that I could ever hope for!!

Willow - OMG... you seriously still don't know who RAK'd you... I'm dying to know and hope I get to find out somehow.. I need to thank them from the bottom of my heart.. I'm truely touched and overwhelmed that someone would do that for me.

Freya - Thanks for the advice... I do agree, it's going to be so much easier when DS is ready to TT but I'm so impatient - LOL :rolleyes:

Janie - Hope you're resting up.. and I'm still waiting for that call to help you out.. of course you don't have to take me up on my offer but I hope you know that you CAN and I'm waiting!!!! ;)

Hope everyone is well. I'm doing ok and have to say that my SIL was really great this afternoon.. she called back because she didn't have time to chat earlier and she was wonderful.. asking all about me and how the appointment went... so I take back everything I said earlier.. I'm lucky to have a wonderful family!!

Kel xxx

Jayne - you don't count as Perth because you are BB ;) Puts you in a completely different category :lol:

Kelly - I'm pleased you are at least feeling supported by family. It is so difficult when they don't get it. My sister has still not even called to talk about the amnio (I am not sure she even knows but I assume Mum and Dad have told her). Partly my fault because I haven't rung her but still ...... it is like this pregnancy doesn't exist sometimes :(

Anyway, just a poor me moment ;) Love to you all :grouphug:

Kelly: ok ok i RAK'd you, i felt you were very deserving and i just wanted to do something nice for you after the whirlwind time you've had lately :hug:
that cake is awesome!!, :lol: i'm a Snapfish addict too, i love having the photos in albums and not just on the computer/on disc, Sophie loves flicking through the albums she use to say "bubba" when she seen a photo of herself but now she says "dat me" so cute!. I've got birthday photos & some holiday photos to print and i'll be completely up to date.

I also RAK'd another lovely lady in this thread, i wonder how long it will be before she notices under her name has changed.

Bonham, you're an amazingly generous person! I have to admit that I looked back to find out who the other one was - excellent choice!

I'm still reading... just getting slammed by work at the moment. My timetable is ok, just a little unbalanced - this week it's full on every day but Friday when I only teach two lessons. The other week in the timetable is similar. I'll be fine when I've adjusted, but the first couple of weeks will be hard.

Very pleased to report that Sam's adjusting to having DH at home very well. I don't think the novelty has worn off yet as he's still preferring daddy in the evenings as normal so I'm getting a bit of the cold shoulder at the moment. He even enjoyed his second day of daycare! I'm feeling just a little redundant and superfluous in his life at the moment, but I'm trying hard to remind myself that I have raised him to be a very happy and secure little boy and he knows I love him no matter what. That and I just got so lucky in that he has my looks and DH's laid back personality!

BW

Such a lovely thing to do Jo! Very deserving recipients. Wish I could RAK some people right now but I cant; big plans for next years RAK-athon instead ;)

BW _ What you have just said about Sam is truly inspirational & I really hope you remind yourself of that everyday! It's a lovely, lovely, love thing that you have just said about Sam & I think you are just fabulous! :dance:

Nope, I think I had it right before, I just don't count anymore, not meaning you guys, to everybody I think. Just having a bad inner moment, it will pass. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Jayney poo - you just need to come where the love abounds for you *mwah* Ignore the stupid people who don't appreciate the beautiful qualities you have :hug:

Oh Jayne, you count to me and would count a whole lot more if we were actually in the same city; one day we will be when the kids are grown and we can run amok together without dragging our butts home to whingy toddlers ;)

I know what it feels like to feel like you dont matter; I go through cycles like that alot, esp because I can count all my good friends on one hand and in our lifestyle out of sight is out of mind :( I hate that your feeling like that when your such a fabulous woman; you give alot to this thread so you DO matter to the RIGHT people :hug:

Jayne, you absolutely DO matter to me! :hug: And I'm giving you a job... next time I'm upset that Sam wouldn't even look at me to say/wave goodbye when I drop him off at day care, remind me of the truth of what I can believe tonight. I think I may need some reminders at times - I know it's a good thing that Sam is like he is, but it's just not normal!

BW

Jayney..... now I really do feel bad..... you matter more than you'll even know, you're the one that did my birth announcement.. nearly three years ago now (my god, how time flies)!!! I hope this little downer on yourself flies on out the window quickly young lady becuase you truely are an amazing person and we all love you to death!! You're the one that got me back in here too!!!! I have so much to thank you for.

Jo - OMG.. I have no idea what to say.. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.. I could just keep writing that all day. You really have no idea what this has done to me and how much it means to me.. I was in tears just telling DH about it about an hour ago.. it's really touched me more than you'll ever know and I wish there was more that I could do or say to thank you. I'm going through moments of feeling so special that you chose me for this and then moments of feeling like I'm not deserving and there are so many wonderful people in here that deserve it more than me... such a mix of emotions but I'm genuinely so overwhelmed and grateful!!!

Michelle - Sending you heaps of massive hugs... another day is gone and you're another day closer... just keep on living in that wonderful world of De-Nile.. just to get you through the next few days.. then we can all celebrate the wonderful news.. I'm confident that it's all going to be good. Take care.

Wow.. I'm so tired tonight and am amazed at the result of Survivor Samoa.. yep, I'm a massive Survivor fan and can't believe the result!! Must get to bed very soon.

Thanks again Jo.. you are an incredible person and all the good that you've done just has to pay off with a wonderfully, healthy little bub in 7 months or so. It just has to!!

Kel xxxx

Kel - I was having a dig with you, I doubt you could ever make me feel badly about myself, your such a wonderful friend to have.

I'm just having a few issues with friends & family atm. We all go through those phases where you feel under-appreciated & unnoticed & the works - well I'm having a big one of those. A few people have let me down, I can usually suck that up, but when they let my KIDS down, my own babies, then it HURTS! Which is what has happened a few times in the last few weeks. In my own little household, the one that consists of the 3 of us, that is going great, Jessica has settled into school beautifully, Claudia has settled into daycare beautifully & is doing so well with her swimming (she CAN actually swim now! It's madness), & things like that, but expand my little family outside this house & cracks are starting to appear. But honestly, you lovely ladies have sooooooo much deeper concerns with early babies, amnios, recurrent m/s's, stitches in very BAD places, f&ck wit ex-DH's, trying to get your family under one roof, newborns, the works, that my problems are just a tiny speck in the ocean, not even worth mentioning & I feel so bad I did. I'll just zip it! :shhh:

Jayne: i just want you to know that you matter to us :hug:

Kelly: your are most welcome hun, i'm so happy that me RAK'ing you has touched you so deeply. You are deserving, i wanted to RAK'd so many of you lovely ladies but i dont think DF would have liked the bank statement :lol: you can hold me in your thought tomorrow. Oh i'm SO glad Russell didnt win the survivor final.

"Thanks again Jo.. you are an incredible person and all the good that you've done just has to pay off with a wonderfully, healthy little bub in 7 months or so. It just has to!"

Your kind words mean so much, you are a amazing friend :hug:

BekZ in here was also RAK'd :D but my the other person i RAK'd was Bun.

Going to bury myself in here and hope I go a bit unnoticed by most, but I was hoping that I could get a bit of advice. I really have no one else to talk to about this except my sister and that seems rather inappropriate under the circumstances.

A couple of years back, my 2mo niece became an angel when that thing that only happens to other people decided that my family was other people. She was my sisters 6th baby, a beautiful little girl and saying goodbye to her was the single hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I am not sure I ever really got over it as even today there are songs I just can't listen to.

But today I have my own beautiful baby girl - and I know I love her more than is communicable, but I feel different as well. As though I am keeping her at arms length. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like she is mine.

I know i have to let go of my fear and let her into my world, she deserves nothing less - I just dont know where to start.

Please help. I want to feel bonded with my baby, my last baby before its too late and a year old when the threat of SIDS has passed is exactly that, too late.

Inertia :hug: I wish I had some advice. I understand a little of how you feel - my family became other people when my sister in law's first baby was still born. It impacted me quite deeply and I was always terrified that it would happen to me as well, especially when I was diagnosed with a similar condition as what caused my niece's death. However, I have found that it only kept me distant from my pregnancies, something that was compounded by recurrent miscarriage.

For what it's worth, I think what you are feeling is normal. I just don't have any advice as to how to get past it because in my family the danger period appears to be much earlier. :hug:

BW