Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - January 2010

Janie the gorgeous Laney has explained it well. Rest is the most important thing for you. Eat really good food, drink plenty of fluids and keep a kick chart. If you are worried about anything ring the hospital & go there.

I am praying you can keep him/her in there for a few more weeks yet. I just want to reiterate that if your baby had to be born now he/she would have very very high survival rate. So, just try and relax into that knowledge - that if he isn't doing okay he can be safely born.

I am so glad you have had offers of ebm. That really does take the heat off you. Just try and stimulate your breasts by expressing (or attempting to) when you can. When you next have a cTG ask for some pathology speci jars so you can express into them.

When is your next CTG?

I wish I could do more. :wall:

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I would happily donate EBM if you need it. The distance is a challenge but the offer is genuine.

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Me too, in a heartbeat :hug:

I'm not sure if it would be suitable for a prem :dunno: but the offer is there.

Glad to hear your resting Janie, get DH to go down & get you some DVD's, or even hire some books at the Library, to keep your backside in bed!

Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone! Michelle and Willow, I really wish you girls were in Mebourne, I would so be taking you up on those offers. I am so lucky though that I have someone who is willing to do it for me, I am so grateful to her (and her baby girl :)).

Laney, thanks so much for that explanation, it is all making more sense to me now! And I spoke to a middie friend yesterday, after reading your post, and we talked about it some more, so I think I grasp the basics now. I hate not knowing, I like to be as informed and prepared as possible. Oh, that link was really good too :D. I am so sorry though that you have had to endure what you did to have this information :( :hug: :hug: :hug:

Deb, I am so appreciative of all of your wonderful posts, I have read them all, and some have made me cry (happy tears). The info is fantastic! And thank you so much for your PM too, your numbers are now stored in my phone ;).

Jayne, I have been lent some DVDs, and I already have a nice pile of books to read. Of course, it's hard to read while DS is around LOL but watching TV is a little easier. I save the books for nighttime, or when he is not here. Fortunately I don't have to stay in bed, but the couch is where I have to park my bum! Thanks hun.

I know it is so worth it, but I am SO over having to lie on my left side all night. Never mind that DH and I keep waking in the night for hours, and lie there worrying and talking about things. It is really good to talk about it, but DH doesn't know what to say alot of the time. He does talk, he's just not sure what worries him most etc, there is so much going through his mind. But I'm really happy, I was hoping to continue with our Calmbirth classes for now, as we both found the first one really relaxing, informative and helpful. Last night he asked me if we could still go, as he really wants to! LOL, he was sceptical about them before we went! So I'm sure lots of people will think we're crazy, but we don't care, it's important to us.

I feel much better having had a vent yesterday, although I am trying not to spend too much time with Michelle in her special place, and crowd her out (de-nile ;)). It's oh so tempting, but I have too much I need to prepare for, and stuff to get others to do for me LOL.

I'd better head off and get ready for the day, DH has had to work this morning, and we are to go in for a CTG at some stage, so I need to ring the labour ward and see when they want us. So the shower beckons LOL!. Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday xoxo

Hi girls,

Janie - I've been reading, and just wanted to offer you my special thoughts and good baby growing vibes. You sound so amazing in your last post, so prepared and calm at the possibility of meeting your bub earlier than expected. I pray all goes as smoothly as possible, very relieved you are in good hands with your ob, let us know how your scan goes today. I'm sorry I can't offer you more, but the tyranny of distance, just know we are here for you to the best of our capacity. Sounds like you have some good support which is so important.

Hi to everyone else - just having a quiet-ish weekend, about to hire a tennis court to knock a ball around with DS 10 though..... he keeps telling me his serve is "exactly the same as Federa" lol !!! I love his confidence!

Love to all xoxo

You can stay with me in De-nile anytime you want ;) But I understand you need to spend more time outside in the scary place to get a few things sorted.

Personally, I think continuing with the Calmbirth teaching is a fabulous idea - and I am very proud DH has seen the benefit. He is a good man ;) At this time it is critical that you can use the skills you are being taught to take away / manage some of the stress surrounding the next few weeks so you can enjoy the moments. I know that sounds odd but there are some very beautiful positives it may be able to help you focus on - those movements, the shape of your tummy, the special time before the little one arrives. If this is to be your last pregnancy you want to fill it with positive images, not just the scary ones :hug:

I am a very short flight away if you need me, and an even shorter distance if you want me on the phone :hug:

Off to work to *buy money* (in the words of DS :lol:) again but on the phone should anyone want to visit me :rofl: And De-nile is quite pleasant ATM :D 5 sleeps to go ..............

Just popping into let you know I've been reading and to let you know I am here.

Janie and Michelle - You are both in my thoughts and prayers a lot lately.

Willow - All the best with first day of school tomorrow.

Hugs to all:) and thanks to Willow and Jayne for offering your advice on Miss Eva's sleep issues..means so much

Janie - thinking of you, xoxoxox

AFM - just under 2 weeks till i see the OB

Janie - I'm so impressed at how great you sound in your last post and hope the CTG goes well today. Remember I'm right here and am sooooo happy to help. I've got absolutely nothing on tomorrow so will give you a call and see if I can come and help you (that is if you haven't already got some help for the day). I'm happy to pick up some food and cook some dinner for you guys?? Or just keep N occupied for a while. Whatever you need hun.

Michelle - I'm lovin the sound of De-nile and think I might have to join you there when we finally get another BNP!!!

Lee - LOL at DS... and good luck returning his serve!!!

AFM - Have had a pretty good weekend and am very happy to finally be sorting out our house. We've put the spare bed together and started sorting out the guest room ready for our first visitors in two and a half weeks. Can't wait. We're also sorting out the spare room which will hopefully become the nursery soon enough. Trying to stay positive about that. Well... we really are getting back into this damn TTC thing again.. LOL.. but I'm still really nervous and had a bit of bleeding this morning.. only light pink but still... I'm worried we're going at it too soon after the D&C. Sorry if that's TMI but its so nice to be able to talk about it with people that understand!!! But then again, the OB said it was ok and I'm reading a lot about how some people think you're even more fertile after m/c, so I'm praying like mad we can get a BFP super quickly.. surely we deserve that after everything!! Would be a miracle though I think, so not going to get my hopes up.

Hope everyone is well and Janie, please rest up and please call me if you need anything at all. I'll give you a call later this avo anyway!!

Kel xxx

Kelly - I forgot to say to you that after my D&C back in August 07, AF returned 6 weeks later exactly, I fell pg the next cycle, but it was a chemical, and the next cycle I fell again (December) and had Remy the following August - so prepare yourself (which I know you are!) as you could be pg again in no time if you are actively trying. I saw no point in waiting, I wanted a baby and was hell bent on having one after so much sadness. I got what I wanted, twice over now ;) good luck hun xox

Managed to return one of two of "Federa's" serves :p

Lee xo

Well, after an hour and a half on the ctg, we need to go back again tomorrow. It wasn't a bad trace, but it wasn't textbook. We didn't get the two accelerations we needed, so they checked with max who said we could go home, but have to go back in tomorrow. I'm starting to think i should do some reading on caesars :(

Oh Janie... sending you heaps and heaps of big hugs. I'm thinking of you constantly and praying that your little one can stay inside for as long as possible!! I'm also praying you don't have to go down the caesar path but I guess at the end of the day, we do what's best for bubs.

Will call you tomorrow.

Kel xxxx

Hi everyone

I've just done a very brief scan and sending Janie a massive :hug:. Hopefully your bubba will hang out inside for a bit longer.

Well, I'm home from Perth and I guess it's time I came clean. The "small procedure" I had last Monday was an amnio. I've been reluctant to post in case it all went belly up but very, very fortunately the result was good. My Down's ratio was 1:24 and the other ones were in the 200's. My PAPP-A is pretty low and my OB has classed this pregnancy as high-risk, I know I am in the best of hands so I'm leaving the worrying to him. It just feels good to share our news with the world!

My thyroid antibodies are also raised for I'm off to see my endo in a couple of weeks, not really sure what she will do though.

Anyway, I'm due 15 July, 4 days after my own birthday.

A public thankyou to the wonderful and caring Deb and Michelle71, both have given me fantastic advice over the past week and a bit. Michelle, all the very best for tomorrow, I am thinking of you and your family.

Just want to send massive :hug: to everyone and wish Michelle good luck for tomorrow!

Would feel a bit silly rambling whimsically about random stuff right now so will save it for another day when we are all feeling on the upside of life.

Rach and Willow...I'll be thinking of you and your big boy and girl on their very 1st day of Big School tomorrow. I hope you both cope ok ;)

Janie I have to say I'm hoping your bubba stays put for a bit longer and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't worry too much if for some reason you need to have a C/S its truly not all that bad. I had Sage via C/S and wouldn't change any part of it. At the end of the day a healthy bub and Mummy is the outcome we all want :hug:

Sequoia OMG hun....Congrats. I wish you all the very best for this pregnancy :)

Hi to everyone.

Good luck for tomorrow Michelle. Thinking of you!

Thanks girls - but the amnio is Friday ;) Another 5 sleeps - but who's counting!!!

Really tired and remembering why I usually take annual leave at this time of year :wall: It's like talking to myself (which is usually the far more intelligent conversation anyway :lol:)

Thinking of all the little people heading off to school tomorrow and their mummies :hug: My niece starts on Friday - where has that time gone???

Sweet dreams and Janie - special big :hug: for you. Call me if you need me or just want to chat while you are strapped to the torture device called a CTG ;)

Hehe, thanks Michelle! It's starting to feel a little torturous, I tell you! I wanted to go to sleep today, but had to hold it in place :rolleyes:. And our bub just does not like it - must be a girl ;)

Hun - you've got weeks of that torture to go. We should get to chat often :lol:

just wanted to send some big :hug: 's to everyone

Janie: goodluck for the CTG today :hug:

Michelle: all the best for your appt on Friday :hug:

AFM: I know that there is alot going on in here but i need some :hug: and support, being that this is my 1st pg since Everson i am finding it hard not to compare this pg to Everson's & DD's. My brain tells me i shouldn't but my heart keeps comparing when i had m/s with both Everson & DD and so far all i've got it nausea coming in waves and i havent had an implantation bleed this pg but i had 1 with both Everson & DD. ARGH i need to stop comparing and just wait for Wednesday for my scan.

Thanks for listening.

Janie - :hug: i hope all goes well today my dear. I wish I wasnt so heavily pg right now, cause then you could have my help for a few days too. My friends DD was born at 33wks due to IUGR - she was the smallest little bubba Id ever seen, but now she is the smartest and tallest almost 4yo I know.

AFM - still tired from the weekend, but much better than yesterday and we have a bday party tonight!

Thinking of you all and reading whenever I get the chance, BB soon for some real persies. Hope your all well xx

Lis xx

Jo - we must have posted at the same time. :hug: dont stress hun, I had an implant bleed with DD but nothing with this one, I had spotting and bleeding with DD but nothing with this one, it freaked me out at times having what was a seemingly normal pg as i kept expecting the same things to happen as with DD and my m/c, but remember each pg is different so dont worry if things arent exactly the same. Its natural to be stressed after a loss but with each milestone that passes, you will get more confident and comfortable with knowing this baby is going to be ok.

Lis xx

ladies - Ive just posted some pics of Miss A as flower girl on FB :)

Good luck Janie.

Jo - :hug: It is so hard not to compare isn't it!!! All my pregnancies have been different with regards to early pregnancy symptoms. With DD1 I had ms but could still function, with DD2 I had very very bad ms and with DD3 I had almost no ms (which scared me no end). With my angel that I lost at 12 wks I had ms and thought all was ok. hth

Sending all you beautiful ladies big :hug:

Janie - Goodluck for today hun

Michelle - Just want to say you goodluck for friday to :hug:

Mako - Thanks sweety, hehe he couldn't wait for me to leave.

Willow - How did DD go at school? Any tears?? Me, i was good and held them back.

Hello to everyone else.

AFM: DS started school today, a big kindergarten boy now. He honestly kept asking when was i leaving, little turd he is lol. Anyway hope you girls are going good, its Febuary now, so lets cross our fingers for a GOOD month,
xoxo
RACH

Hello Ladies,

Big hugs for the Mummies who had to drop their big school kids at the big school this morning. I had to drop Jessica @ Pre Primary this year & the little tart only waved me over her shoulder - no kisses for me!!! I was not impressed. RACH _ Sounds like you got the same treatment! Jessica's teacher is a bit 'different' but she engaged the kids really well, so that's a good thing & the classroom was super organised. A space for the pillow, cup, tissues, game, hat - a special space for EVERYTHING.

LISA _ Just going to stalk FB for my Miss A fix.

MICHELLE _ You need big distractions for this week to get you through to Friday! Shopping sounds like it's in order!

SEQUIOA _ I had an idea you had something going on, but I didn't realise you were that far for an Amnio, congratulations honey & I'm so glad you got positive results!

DEB _ How did you go getting ready for school this morning? Tears in your eyes or happily helping them out the door? LOL

BEK _ Is Sara off to school as well?

JANIE _ BOL for your CTG monitoring. I had a little premonition last night that you had a girl. I'm a shocking guesser, so I can't wait to see if I am right!

BONHAM _ Try & relax honey, I know it's easier said than done, but just remember everything is always different - just try at least. Hugs!

KELLY _ Has Luke recovered from his playdates?

AFM _ Jessica is back at school today, 5 days per week this year. Amazing where the time has gone! Claudia is a bit miffed she isn't at school, but she started daycare last week, so now she has her own little clan of friends. She tells me she is just like Jessica now she has a classroom. She just goes one day per week & she loves it - so I'm feeling less guilty. The scary thing is that she's off to Kindy next year!

Love Jayne xx

Lisa - Miss A is soooo gorgeous... definitely one of the prettiest flowergirls I've ever seen!!

Rach - LOL at DS asking when you were leaving this morning!!

Jo - Big hugs hun.. it's so hard and there's nothing at all we can say that will make it easier but just know that we're all here for you and remember that there's nothing you can do so as hard as it is.. please try to take it one day at a time.

Michelle - Good luck for FRIDAY!! I'm thinking of you and praying all is going to be ok!

Janie - Was so great to chat to you today.. I'm amazed at how strong you are and hope you're still taking it easy. I'm looking forward to getting a 'help me out' call from you whenever you need it.. and remember last minute isn't at all a problem for me.

Mako - I can't remember when your appointment is???

Hope everyone else is well.

AFM - I'm ok and just decided that I'm going to try not to think about getting pg!!! I've been obsessing about it a bit too much over the last few days and I need to chill out. Timing wise, it would be so perfect if it happened RIGHT AWAY and I'm a little caught up on that.. which of course is setting me up for lots more tears and disappointment. So I'm going to try and keep busy and not think about it. Just found out that DH is going to be doing a lot of travel for work over the next couple of weeks too... not happy!!! He's even going back to Perth next week.. boo hoo.. I wanna go too!! Sucks. Anyway.. some good news... I finally got DS into daycare!!! YAY.. he'll be going on Wednesdays and I can start him next week!!! So excited.

Anyway must go.. looking forward to hearing some GOOD news from you tonight Janie.. I'm praying bubs is better behaved for the CTG today!!

Kel xxx

Jayne - think we posted at the same time!!!! LOL at Jessica and the little wave over the shoulder.. I can sooooo picture her doing that!!! Cheeky monkey! Yeah.. Luke I think Luke has recovered.. he keeps asking for Nanny & Grandad though.. and some of his friends.. he misses them so much but we've had a few good play dates over here too... so that's helped!! He was sooo cute last night.. he didn't have a day sleep and was so tired that he was falling asleep eating dinner... he's never done that before and it was sooo gorgeous. He ended up falling asleep on the couch with his cup of milk!! Thankfully he's asleep now!!!!

Kel xxx

Awww :hug: to all the mummies whose kids started big school today and especially to those of you who DIDN'T get a hug or a kiss goodbye :shakehead:

Janie I hope you get a good trace today hun.

Bonham Hunny please try and relax. I know it is sooooo not easy but Wednesday isn't too far away. I know it'll probably take "forever" to get here for you though. Sending you a huge supportive :hug: and I'll be hanging out for your post after you've been to see your bub ;)

Michelle I hope you are coping as best as you can hun. Know I'm just a phone call away if you want to chat. I can't offer much but I am a really good listener ;)

Well I took Sage to the movies this morning for the very 1st time. We saw the Wiggles (it was just a taped version of the concert in December at Acer Arena (Sydney) but Sage loved it. He was dancing up on the seat until him and our 2 friends who came along too with their 2 little girls all decided that climbing over the seats was more fun lol. Anyway I was silly and got choked up :o as we walked in as I'd honestly never thought I'd see the day where I actually had a little person of my own to take to the movies. I know its silly but it I couldn't help it and then it happened again when the Wiggles sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Sage was standing on the seat doing his twinkling and diamonds :redface: Oh dear Mummy is feeling a tad emotional today.
I'd better go and get some things done while he's crashed out in bed.
BBL

ps. Lisa I'm going to have a quick squiz at your FB pics.

Kelly My appointment is this Friday with my Ob up here and then the following Thursday in Sydney.

Jayne thankyou my kids went to school last Wednesday as the first day... I did miss them - but I must say the day goes so quickly... My kids finish at 2.30pm so it seems I have only got home & done a few things and it's time to go and get them again!

Janie: I've been thinking of you all day - hoping that your CTG is good... :hug:

Michelle: I've been counting sleeps for you too. 4 to go now my love! :comfort: If you need me or want me I am yours! x

Big cuddles to everyone else - BBL

Janie - All the very best with your CTG today hun :hug: I can only imagine how you must feel, but I hope that your little bub stays put for quite a few more weeks. Take care of yourselves.

Michelle - Thinking of you on Friday too :hug:

Sequoia - Congratulations on your pg! I know how reluctant I was to tell people and I wasn't having amnio worries either :doh: Wishing you a H&H 6 months or so.

Bonham - I had different symptoms with all 3 pregnancies, try not to compare or you will drive yourself nuts! Coming from the person who compared the whole time :rolleyes: LOL GL for your scan on Wed.

mako - GL with your ob appts, hope you get some answers :hug:

Hi and :hug: everyone else. Hope you are all well today!

My big girl started kindy today *sniff* I can't quite believe it TBH, where have the last 5 and a half years gone?? I must admit I did get a little emotional though LOL but held myself together, I think if she had've seen me upset then she would have been not a happy little girl! But had better dash now, I have to pick her up soon and wake up DD2 to do it :( They are having short days until the 19th which I think is great :)

Thanks everyone for the support & kind words they mean alot :hug: i'm trying to relax and but also keep myself busy with housework so that i have less time to think. I need to remember every pregnancy is different.
I said to DD this morning 'wheres the bubba?' and she proceeded to pull my singlet up and say 'bubba tick tick tick (tickle tickle tickle)' and then laughed and pulled my singlet down.

Lisa: hope you can get some rest before going out to the birthday party tonight. I dont think i have you on Facebook, i'll send you a PM.

Mako: all the best for Friday you'll be in my thoughts :hug:

Naww so cute little kiddies having their 1st days of school and them with their waves over the shoulder or asking when your leaving. All the kids are growing up too quickly :hug: to the mummies.

AFM: I've just cleaned the loungeroom up from Cyclone Sophie :lol: she's having a nap atm and will no doubt make a mess again when she wakes up but for now it's clean. I'm having a rest and will then clean up the kitchen. I already feel "big" and finding it hard to sleep but when i take a photo of my belly side on it doesnt look anywhere as big as i feel i do :lol: our own perception is a lovely thing isnt it.

sending more :hug: to you all

Janie: I hope the CTG was reassuring today hun. I know only too well how darn nerve wracking it can be to see those numbers going up and down. Here for you babe.

Bonham: I think it is only natural to compare pregnancies hun. DD sounds just gorgeous.

Megsmum: :hug: it must be so hard to see them growing up and starting KIndy but you must also feel very proud.

Mako: How adorable to see DS enjoying the movie so much. I sometimes get teary over little things like that. Sometimes I pinch myself because I can't believe I have sons now. :hug:

Kelly: I too was obsessed, it is normal to want to try to 'catch up' for lost time. I hope and pray you are surpised with a BFP super quick.

Freya: What date do you start Uni hun? I know it's feb but I wasn't sure when.

Jayne: Oh hun :hug: for you too. You sound like you've raised a very confident young lady and you should be very proud of that.

Rach: Sounds like another confident young lad. I saw the pics on FB, how cute is he.

Lisa: DD is gorgeous. BTW I love love love the Bride's dress.

Michelle: Sleep counting here with you hun. 4 to go. I hope you're doing ok.

Freya: Glad the school days are going quickly. Before you know it it will be the w'end and your sweet kids will be home.

Bek: How are you travelling hun. Any luck with the sleep issues? I really do sympathsise, I was in the same boat with O.

Well we are going well. For some reason I'm super engorged today. It's crazy, perhaps B is having a growth spurt. Oh and the Dr's think O has impetigo. I'm not so sure (it looks more like an infected mossie bite) but we are being cautious and keeping him home until whatever it is heals and the AB cream kicks in. Back to the Dr tomorrow for a check. I know it isn't good if infants get it so B has been held hostage in my HAB pretty much the entire time O is awake. He is loving it TBH. It's hard for O to understand he can't touch or kiss B but it will hopefully only be a few more days. I've been using alcohol gel on my hands every 3 seconds (lol) It just feels icky knowing he may have it, I don't know where he caught it, but I can't wait for it to go. In the meantime I'm analysing any bump B gets. Dr said if B does get it then if it is treated with AB quickly he'll be fine.

Oh and we had our first TT accident today. O didn't make it and did a wee on the couch.

Oh the joys

Spring xx

SPRING _ O is doing fantastically with the TT so one accident so far is brilliant. I have no idea what Impetigo is??? Whatever it is, I hope he hasn't shared with B, but lucky you got onto it in time.

I have orientation and prep course 15-19th then classes start the 22nd.

Hmmmm... wondering how Janie went today!???? Might have to send another SMS..

Kelly, I've been wondering the same thing...

BW

Spring: it is natural to compare but i need to stop and just concentrate on the things i can control. DD does some cute things.

Kelly: let us know if you hear anything, i've been thinking of Janie all day

If anyone wants to add me on Facebook just search Joanne Bonham my profile picture is a photo of my Dad & I when i was around 9months old OR PM me if you cant find me :)

Hi guys. sorry it has been so long since I have posted. As you can imagine, things have been a little hectic around here trying to get used to a toddler and a newborn, plus we have had both the ILs and my sister staying, so 7 people in the house! The ILs have now left, and my sis leaves tomorrow. I am not sure how I will cope when my sis leaves, she has been the biggest help and I am a little terrified about how I will cope when she leaves! My parents are staying for a few days from Thurs so at least I will have them to help out then. I am also still pretty sore from the birth and am not supposed to lift DD, although that has been impossible!

I hope all those who had kids go to school today managed to send them off with minimal tears! I was thinking of you all today.

janie - I am so sorry you are going through this, I can only imagine how stressful it must be. I am praying your little one stays in there a little longer sweetie. I know you have had heaps of offers, but I would also be stoked to give you some breast milk if you need it, I have heaps and would love to do anything I can to help. If I was closer I would definitely offer to look after DS whenever I could too. Thinking of you sweetie.

mako - I am glad you had such a good time at the movies. That is so sweet that you got teary watching your little boy - you are such a wonderful mum and he is very lucky to have you. I am looking forward to hearing how your appointments go and I hope you get a good plan to go with next time around to bring a happy and healthy little baby into the world!

Spring - woohoo on the TT!! I guess some accidents are always going to happen. DD has started asking to go to the toilet but all she does is sit there! At least it is a start though. You sound like you are doing fantastically well with your gorgeous little boys. Sorry to hear about the impetigo, I hope it clears up soon.

bonham - big :hug: sweetie. The early stages are so stressful after a loss. Thinking of you :hug:

Lisa - I will have to go and check out the flower girl pics on FB!

kelly - I am so glad to hear you have such a wonderful OB. Sounds like you have a great plan for next time!

Bek - how is the sleep going now?

sequoia - congrats hun, that's fantastic news! I am so glad to hear that the results of your amnio were all ok, you must feel so relieved.

Hi everyone else. Sorry for no more persies. I will hopefully be online again on Wed when DD is at day care. I am also hoping to post my birth story then. I am having a few issues about the birth. Hoping that typing up my story may help come to terms with it.