Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April/May

Michelle - How are you this morning... hope you're doing ok... thinking of you!

Jayne - Oh hun... please don't think that you have to make any decisions right now.. it's going to take LOTS of time... this is by far the biggest and most important decision you'll ever make and you have to be sure it's the right one!! Geee.. nothing like pressure hey.. sorry, didn't mean it quite like that.. ykwim? Just don't let anyone else push you one way or another, every single situation is different and I'm so pleased to hear that Alan is feeling some sort of remorse for what he's done.. if only he'd felt some of that BEFORE doing what he did. Anyway have a FANTASTIC night out.. you deserve to have a blinder.. will definitely help relieve some of that tension.. just stay safe hun!! Love you!

BW - So great to hear from you!! Sounds like things are on the improve for you, which is fantastic... you certainly deserve it too.. woo hoo on the car payments and pandora bracelet!!! Nice.

Janie - Sorry to hear things haven't been great with D.. hope it all sorts itself out soon. Maybe we need another catch up!!!!!

Nothing else to report from us.. having a lazy morning.. DH has gone for a run and MIL has taken the dog for a walk... ahhhh the piece and quite... well apart from DS running around like a lunatic!! LOL. DH is going to the pool for a swim later today too so I think I'm going to brave it and go with him!!!! Scary thought.. I haven't done any form of fitness for way too long... but just need to get out and do something!! With MIL here, DH and I were going to sneak out for dinner and a movie tonight.. but there's nothing on at the movies that interests us.. so might just be dinner.. very exciting, it's been way too long since we've done that!! Then going to the snow tomorrow.. woo hoo!!

Kel xxx

Michelle - Hoping to hear you are home today! Dont' have any credit on my damn phone to text you! :wall:

Hi everyone. Mchelle is still in hospital. The contractions have eased though she had a bright red blood loss this am. The cervical plug is still intact and insitu & Omar is still transverse.
It's likely that this is from the Moxa and Omar's attempts to turn himself to his best position for birthing. Michelle has her mum and dad there now & Oscar and Lily - with Lily very happy to see her boobie after having to go night nights without them!

She is sounding happy to see her babies & her and I will talk later when the family have gone. I will continue to update you or Michelle will when she can.

We are all barracking for you gorgeous. This isn't in the plan - but birth rarely goes to plan. I personally believe that this is a little reminder that soon Omar will be here & that it's time for us all to gather around. :hug:

Thanks, Deb. I've been staring at my phone all day and wanting to send a text message to check on Michelle, but also not wanting to intrude. I think I need to work on my self esteem issues!

BW

Hi lovelies,

It's been an eventful evening! Lastnight I spoke with Michelle at 8.30pm and she said she was having a few mild-ish contractions then, obviously they got a bit stronger! Michelle - I think you are amazing to have hung out this long during such a tragic time, Omar has done well too, what a good little boy - he sounds like he's shifting and getting himself ready. 36 weeks is when my little Flynn arrived, it's okay, but have a feeling Omar might bake a bit longer. Glad your ma and pa are helping, perhaps some rest in hossie is actually a good thing right now hon, make the most of it if you can.... massive hugs.......... keep us posted okay! And yes, I so do understand how painful things like changing your NOK can be, it's all these 'invisible' things that hurt so much. Just don't forget how loved you are by so many people, and so many of us are thinking of you and sending you the BEST vibes and love xo

Deb - you are pure treasure :)

Lee xoxoxoxoxo

Michelle: you frightened the heck out of me. I'll txt soon.

Bek: Hun I am really really going to miss you in this thread. It won't be the same without you. Any way we can convince you to reconsider? If not I wish you and your gorgeous children the very best.

Be back for more persies once I've txt Michelle

I'm ok girls. Just bored ;) Intermittent ctx still and no show but the littlest monkey is still transverse :wall: I am happy with breech or cephalic at this stage so I can go home!! Just hanging around until we change position or declare our status. I don't think labour is imminent but I also know I can't risk going home in transverse with my plug visible and some bleeding. Will keep you posted or Deb will update xx

Michelle sending you lots of turn Omar turn vibes hun. I hope you are able to manage some rest right now too. If you need anything at all you know I'm not all that far away and just a text or phone call is all that's required ;) Big :hug: for you too

Bek I'm sorry to hear you are leaving us and I know I'm going to miss having you around. I wish you all the best and maybe you can pop in every now and then to let us know you're ok :hug:

Hi to everyone else. BBL for more personals.

With you darling heart. :hug: Turn Georgie turn... But in the meantime I hope you sleep tonight my love. Nighty night. xxx

Just checking in before bed to check on Michelle. I hope you have a restful night sweetie.

Spring xx

Bother and more bother!!!! Plug starting to come away which usually indicates labour within a few days for me. Just waiting. No pain at this stage. Feeling energized which is more of a worry LOL Hoping to get some sleep but I feel so unprepared mentally. Taking some time for quiet reflection if this pregnancy is soon to be over. I'll keep you posted.

Thinking of you Michelle :hug: I hope you manage to get some rest before Baby Omar(George) decides to arrive ;)

36 weeks isn't too bad, Michelle. Not ideal and certainly not what you want on top of everything else you are dealing with. :hug: I'm free Tuesday onwards - let me know if you'd like a visitor with another hyperactive toddler in tow.

BW

Thinking of you Michelle and to George's safe arrival.

How are you this morning Michelle? I hope you managed some sleep during the night :hug:

Sequoia WOW look at your ticker hun..How are you feeling?

Jayne How are you doing hun. I think of you often too. How are your girls?

Not much happening here this weekend. Just trying to catch up on a lot of washing and housework stuff that never seems to go away lol.

Hope everyone is ok :)

Hi Mako, how are you? Still lurking, how is the Clomid coming along? I hope you are feeling well. I'm battling the flu, combined with getting ready to go to Perth on Friday to await baby's arrival means it has really slowed me down getting things done around the house, plus peeing every 90 minutes overnight! Apart from that, not too much. A big hello to little S, x.

Michelle is going okay. Omar has moved a little bit but still not cephalic. No more tightenings that are any more than prelabour. She has her mum and dad with the kids & sounds in good spirits.

It is very likely that the loss is due to Omar having moved a bit - but only time will tell if Omar will choose his birthday sooner or later.

Love and support darling woman - the room is full of all the positivity, love and strength we are sending. :hug:

Inanna: thank you so much for the update. Michelle, sending you my love Hun. I'm sending a big warm cuddle your way.

Sequoia: wow Hun, look at your ticker. How exciting.

Jayne: how was last night sexy thang. I hope you had a sensational night.

Spring xx

It is good to hear that Omar is still tucked up tightly... not so good to hear that Michelle is still in hospital, but I guess it's the best place for everyone right now.

Today I've had some absolutely shocking news, I really don't know how to deal with it. There was a woman at work who became pregnant - and I resented her for having an easy conception and being so blissfully ignorant of all that could go wrong and being able to be happy and joyful and tell all the students early on... and for the fact that I was going to have to take on part of her role when she left.

On Friday when I went back for my proper farewell I was given the shocking news that she had been involved in a car accident, wrapped the car around a power pole. The baby was delivered at 29 weeks. This morning, I ran into another colleague from work during lunch and found out not only that the baby had high potassium levels and wasn't expected to survive... then a text message arrived informing us that the baby had passed.

I now hate myself for resenting her for being so innocent and carefree. You know how you always want people to be able to understand why pregnancy for you is filled with fear and stress and worry rather than wonder and joy? Not like this... NOT like this! :( I feel so guilty and awful and just... it's like my thoughts have called this down upon her.

BW

MICHELLE _ Holy crap, do you need me? I can be on a plane tonight if you need? If you need me, you just say the words, honestly. You need me & I'll be there.

Sorry for no personals, hung over like a DOG! Oh my gosh, I almost cried when they closed the bar!!! I can't even imagine the last time I went to a bar & then I stayed til closing! Crap! I danced & sang like a goddess & I rocked that entire bar. heheheeh. Loving my work last night. Do I still have 'it' ladies, hell yes I do! Am I paying for it today? Yes I am. Great night, great company, great food, fabulous alcohol. I came home a very happy & giggly & rotten as a chop girl.

Will BBL.

Love Jayne

Well that is absolutely wonderful. YOU ARE DEFINITELY A GODDESS!!!!!

Very fragile tonight. Missing my babies. Missing Greg. Frustrated with 4-5 minute prelabour tightenings happening again for the past 2 hours. Still transverse. Still no progress. Still here until whenever. Saw the OB this morning who confirms the plan. Just miserable :( I know I am surrounded by support and people who will come but at the moment it is a case of come for what??? I don't even know where this is heading. Just frustrated.

Michelle: Oh babe, I'm so sorry you can't go home ATM :comfort: do you have an iPod with you Hun. I find closing my eyes, cranking it up and zoning out helps so much when I'm frustrated. Can someone bring you the most yummy delicious food or perhaps a brand new soft pair of pj's? I know it is no comparison to having Greg or your babies close by but it may help even a little bit :hug:

BW: please don't blame yourself babe, in no way whatsoever did you have anything to the tragic death of your friends baby. It's only human to feel that way but please don't be too harsh on yourself. Perhaps you could reach out to her and offer her an understanding ear in her time of need. :hug:


Jayne: I'm so glad to hear you shook what ya mumma gave you. No doubt you left a trail of drooling men in you wake with those skinny leg pants.

Spring xx

Thanks Spring :hug: I have music here but no headphones that I have found yet. Actually, lots of Greg's music which is nice in a way. I have my jammies and yummy treats but I am just miserable. My babies have been in but I just want to cuddle them to sleep :( The reality of the next step of birthing this baby is hitting home and I am so not ready. I had just made plans for support in this birth and now I don't know if or when to activate those plans. It just wasn't meant to be simple was it?

Michelle - Sending you the hugest, squishiest cuddle I can muster. I am phone-less atm so I haven't been able to txt you but I am thinking of you constantly. Once we know what's happening, my help is also on offer of course. I understand how badly you must want to go home to your babies. Maybe just try to see the advantage of being able to get a full nights sleep if you can?!

:comfort:

Jayney - Glad to hear you rocked it ;)

BW :hug:

Jayne, so glad to hear you rocked the house! You mad thing, I love it! I bet you were the centre of attention :D Are there pics????

Michelle, how frustrating :hug: I am frustrated for you........wish there was something I could say or do to make it all easier for you. You know I am with you in spirit, and thinking of you always. My phone doesn't beep for texts, so you can text me any time you like without fear of waking little people, all through the night. Do you remember the night I spoke to you from the hospital after having Daniel? I keep thinking of that night, and that conversation. It meant alot to me, still does. You probably don't remember, but I was downstairs in the main entrance lobby, it was deserted. When I went back to my room the nurses were starting to get frantic because they couldn't find me anywhere and they needed to give me my jab :lol:. I forgot I was supposed to be a patient too LOL. I wish so much that you could at least go for a wander, I know how awful it is being holed up in a hospital room :(. Hang in there babe, it will all be for the greater good, horrible as it is now. It sounds as though you're very much feeling the responsibility of being the one to call all the shots? Such as when to call in support systems etc. That must be hard for you. If it all gets too overwhelming, can you chat to your Ob about it? Maybe get him to call the shots for you ;). Or your midwife. Thinking of you lovely, much love xoxo

Thank guys :grouphug: I'm feeling a little better after a visit from a very dear friend of Greg's. He gives good hugs and misses him immensely too.

Janie - much to the concerns of my mother, we went for a walk to the main shops today. Partly for my sanity, partly for the movement to try to get him to move. I remember well our chat. I was in Orange then too. The visit before Greg died. I was so excited to share the news of your birth and I knitted a set of itty bitty booties that I never got around to sending. A time when life was normal.

Oh Michelle - Massive, massive hugs hun. I didn't get a chance to check in yesterday but was thinking of you constantly. How are you this morning? I still can't imagine what you're going through and have been talking to DH about it alot this week... we're just devistated that you have to be in this situation. I too wish there was more I could say or do to help... even just a tiny bit. We're trying to send you all the strength you need.

Jayne - Woo Hoo on the great night out.. I want to hear MORE... spill!!!!!

Well... in an attempt to distract everyone for a short second... we had a wonderful day in the snow yesterday. DS couldn't believe his eyes... his little head was spinning I think, it was so precious. He had such a wonderful time. It was absolutely freezing and snowed most of the time we were there... which wasn't ideal... but then again, for us Perth people, it was pretty damn amazing to see snow falling.. so we loved it!! Put some pics up on FB!! I can't wait to go back again soon and still can't believe it was under 2 hours away from home... so bizarre for us!! Janie - we pretty much passed your house on the way there too... we yelled out a big hello!!!

Kel xxx

Michelle, thinking of you lots. I hope Omar decided to turn for you so you can go home to your little ones.

Kelly, snow is beautiful if you can visit it for a weekend and then go back to the warmth. 3 or 4 months of it makes you really dislike it :) Hope you had a great time.

Jayne, sounds like you had a blast!

BW, I know how horrible you feel. I was very upset at DH's cousin for telling the world that she was 5 weeks pregnant right after we lost Shelby. They then found out that the baby had severe spina bifida and had a very complicated pregnancy with a very sick bub. It is normal to have those feelings and it really does help to reach out and offer support.


Hi everyone!
another scan tomorrow morning and then a scan on Tuesday morning with my high risk doctor. Very nervous but bub is moving and kicking me even with this anterior placenta. My MIL is going to watch Grayson for me because he acts like a wild child in the office. I hope I will be able to relax a bit more without Grayson screaming for mama through the whole scan.

Michelle, if you see this sms me visiting hours and what hospy your at and I will come and visit tomorrow, all boys are at preschool/daycare. I have no credit but Ive been thinking about you and doing a quick fly by to check your updates. Things have been a bit crap here so Im flying below the radar. I'll bring all things chocolatey goodness ;)

Girls, just popping in to let you know that I'm taking a bit of a break from BB for a while. Will still be on FB :)

Michelle, PAHLEASE keep me updated by txt or on FB OK? I am thinking of you constantly. Which hossy are you in? I may be able to swing a visit if my MIL can take the boys for me one day this week?

hey ladies - sorry Ive been MIA of late - just struggling a little. Natalya is a sooky la, she cries for most part of the day and doesnt sleep - she just had a half hour cat nap and thats probably the best ill get all day so im finding it hard to get anything done.

Michelle - just had visions of you doing handstands in a pool again - hoping we have a good turn and quick and easy entry to the world. Hang in there babe you are doing an amazing job :hug:

Jayne - sorry i havent been around hun to support you - ill PM you separately - know that Im here for you and what an achievement on that weight loss!! Your amazing!!

Bek - oh hun, im very sad that you wont be a part of our group on a daily basis, but I understand your reasons and know that we are always here for you and you are always one of us xx

Willow - will catch you on FB

Gotta go - Miss N now screaming her lungs out!

L xx

Girls - I'm in RHW in Randwick. Visiting hours are flexible for me. I'm in my own room. Just waiting and uncomfortable.

I'll see you tomorrow Michelle :)

Just coming in quickly to check on our patient. Michelle, what does your gut tell you? Are we going to be gushing over George pics very soon on FB?? How are your parents coping with the kids? How are they coping without you? I know you are going to have heard it all before, but please, plesae, please, just rest up. That's what you're there for. I want you to listen to music & chill out & try & sleep & have nice long showers. If you really must, fantasize about me in my skinny leg pants. hahahaha You know you want to! Or think about the most luscious man who was chatting me up at the bar on Saturday night & telling me he'd buy me a bigger diamond than the ones that are already on my finger. **swoon** He had beautiful lips & eyes & my goodness he could bust a move, he nearly put me to shame. Nearly, but not quite! ** wink **

Well, things aren't fantastic at home, there are lots of changes to be made. I'll have to update my Platinum thread when I can. I have really 'found' myself the last couple of weeks & come to many conclusions - in a sick kinda way, it made me realise so many things about myself & one of the bigger issues is that I didn't credit myself enough. Something I am changing.

Love Jayne x

Good for you Miss Jayne :D So glad to hear that you will now be appreciating how wonderful you are. Looking forward to your update hun :hug:. And I'm asking again......are there pics of Saturday night????? ;)

Michelle, I hope I didn't upset you reminding you of our convo :(. I remember that you were in Orange, and thinking how cool your MIL sounded. Will George be able to wear the booties? So glad you got to the shops, how nice to have a break from the four walls. I used to like to walk around the hospital too, although that probably has limited appeal for you :rofl: Love love xoxo

Anna, what's up darl? You know we're all here for you. Please give Michelle a big big hug from me as well tomorrow. I'm very jealous of you Sydney girls who can visit!

Willow, I hope to see you lots on FB! Will miss you in our thread, just as it's coming back to life again.

Oh Lisa! I never even thought that you didn't get our PMs! We were chatting away about it in here too, I just figured you were too busy at the time to make it. Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time with Miss N.......my Mr N was like that, so I really empathise. And we have had times of it with D too, but fortunately we know some of the things that have been causing is, which helps. Do you have any inkling what might be unsettling her? Have you got a sling that you can put her in during the day? I know it's not the same, but it at least means you can eat etc. :hug:

Bek, if you're reading, thinking of you :hug:

How is our beautiful Inanna? I think of you lots lovely.

Laney, it is soooo good to 'see' you! Can't wait to hear how your appt went. As you know, that's great news that your bub is kicking up a storm, especially with the ant. placenta! I'm sure this is coming up to be a very difficult time for you, but you sound as though you're doing really well. Here for you if you need support.

I'd best go, D will wake soon, and N probably needs to go to the toilet! I bit the bullet yesterday, and said 'no more nappies'. Well not quite like that to him LOL, but I thought we should give it a really good shot. I'm so over people giving me a hard time because he's not TT, I feel really concious of it. Previously I didn't think he was ready, but recently it's just been a combo of lack of time on my part, and lack of willingness on his. He cried yesterday when I took his morning nappy off and tried to put jocks on. So I let him go without undies, and just wear pants. Whatever makes it a happy process! It's pretty hit and miss so far, but I figure we'll get there eventually. At least it's hols so we don't have any commitments for the next few days, and can just stay at home and concentrate on going to the toilet :lol: Any tips from our experienced mummies would be welcome!

D is doing really well, although the last month or so has been rough at times. I guess if I think about it, it's all been rough at times! I hope it calms down soon. It looks like he has intolerances too, like N, so we're just trying to work out what they are. Dairy seems to be a big one, so he's now having a prescription formula for his comp feeds, and I have completely eliminated it from my diet. Hopefully we'll get it all under control soon.

xoxo

Oh Janie, so sorry, there are NO pics :( There are going to be lots of next times though, so will make sure I do 'next time'. lol

Oh bummer Jayne! I was so wanting to check out your skinny leg pants :D There will definitely have to be a next time ;)

I had my scan today and everything looked great!!!! Bub is measuring big by about a week! I see my high risk doctor tomorrow and get another scan. No more scan for 4 whole weeks and then we start our weekly scans and visits to the doctor! I see my doctor in 2 weeks so that should help with the long wait for another scan.
My blood work came back negative for genetic issues. Placenta problems have caused the blood work to come back positive in the past so I feel a tiny bit better.

Janie, I am feeling pretty goood about everything right now. I still have my moments but I really think the blood thinners are doing the trick. (even if there is no proof that I need them)
I really hope you get D settled. We didn't get Grayson's issues figured out until he was 8 months :(

Great news Laney. I hope the next 4 weeks fly by for you.

Jayne So happy you had a wonderful night out and were able to let your hair down. Would love to see some recent pics of you in skinny pants too ;)
I have to say you were looking fantastic last year when you were in Sydney so I'm betting you're one super hot looking mumma now :)

Bun How are you doing with your hubby o/s? How long is he away for?

Lee how are you doing hun? How is your massage course going?

Willow I'm going to miss having you around in here. I hope its only a short break but luckily I can still catch up with you on FB

Janie Don't stress too much about N not being TT'd. I'm just doing the "go slow" with Sage atm. He's not too keen to sit on his little toilet seat atm because its" too cold on my bum" as he yells at me every day. So I'm not pushing him. I'm confident when the weather warms up a bit he'll get it pretty quickly as we were doing well a few weeks ago.
Glad to hear D is doing better too.

BW glad to hear you're settling into your new role as SAHM. I'm sure Sam is loving all the extra mummy time :) How are you doing with this feezing cold weather? I was thinking of you last night when I went outside to put the bins out and it was sooooooooooooo cold it felt like it was snowing lol.

Michelle How are you doing this morning? Did your pains stop last night?

Freya Please give Michelle a big hug from me when you see her today.
Please know we are here for you if you ever want to chat :hug:
Not much going on here. Just waiting to see if I see any signs of "O" this cycle or not. I'm not having a BT to check level either this time round but might call my OB next cycle and see if she'll give me pathology forms to check to see if the clomid is working then. I'm on cd 19 today and haven't seen any sign of Oing but who knows :rolleyes:
Ok I'd better run as I've got heaps to do before I go to work. I'm working 6 days this week and they are all split shifts. Oh well makes things a little easier while I'm on school hols for 2 weeks as of next week.