Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. In this thread you will find women who are navigating the sometimes difficult but joyous challenge of parenting after saying goodbye. This can throw up many challenges and in here you will find friendship and a safe place to share your experiences.
I know that many of our regular members of this thread are having very difficult times at the moment - I hope we can continue to be supportive & hopeful in times that sometimes are very difficult. Welcome to our new members - it is always wonderful to have new members to share this journey.
Michelle ~ words can not expresses the sorrow each and everyone in here feels since hearing of the passing of your beloved husband, Greg. Please know that we are all here as individuals and collectively to support you as you grieve the loss of Greg and as you get ready to welcome your treasured little baby boy. Know that you are not, and will not be alone today or in the days to come.
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Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!
Oh Michelle that article in the Teleraph is a testament to how amazing Greg was, Im in tears. You should be so proud knowing how much so many people in the world are devestated by his loss; its a true indication of the kind of person he was. Even people who hardly knew him
Michelle, I will look it up. Thank you for thinking of us through your grief
We're home, well and relieved . D has been a superstar, he slept through the whole thing, even though he'd been fasting! We elected for him to have a spinal, rather than a GA, but the recovery nurse thought he'd had the GA because he was so fast asleep! It wasn't til she checked his notes again after awhile that she realised he'd had a spinal LOL. What a good little boy . He is soooo beautiful, I feel like I'm bonding with him so well these days. Thanks for all your kind wishes and support, it really does help
JANIE _ So glad that Baby Daniel did so well with his little op - what a load off! I'm so glad he is home. You sould really relieved too - which is fab as well.
BEK _ How are you doing?
WILLOW _ Did you end up talking to V about Nanna? She is the same age as Jess isn't she? I don't know, Nanna is so very old & tired & she needs to go to heaven to rest?? I had to take mine to a funeral in January so I glossed it over as much as I can. I told her the coffin was a special postage box for the angels to post our uncle to heaven. She was 'ok' with that, but then again, she didn't know this uncle really well, where obviously she does know your Nan really well? My thoughts are with you & you will tell her the most appropriate story.
MICHELLE _ How do you feel with your parents gone? The little road trip sounds like it could be ok, will get the kids out & about & also yourself?? You might be solo in person, but not in spirit darl, every single one of us is with you, as well as Greg. Can any of the Sydney girls accompany Michelle???
LISA _WTG on the 6 hour sleepy stint! Awesome!
MAKO _ How are you sweet?
BUN _ Was so awesome to meet you! Joshua is just so scrumptious! I soooooooooo loved my snuggles with him & secretly I'm pretty sure he liked me too! Catherine is so adorable, that cheeky little grin is going to help getting her out of lots of trouble! LOL I trust you had a safe & enjoyable flight home! Oh & I picked up some cute jeans at Myer for Curly for $21! Bargain!
Jayne - the car trip is only short stints that I can do ok. The trip to the park today was a bad choice. My pelvis is so sore after doing a little too much last night and there were too many Daddies and their babies playing Even worse, I took them to the park that Greg used to always take them to. Poor monkeys had to deal with a blubbering Mummy who realised that she might think she is ok but in reality she isn't.
There is an ache that I just can't ease and it hurts so much. I am sore, uncomfortable, feeling very alone and so incredibly sad. I miss his cuddles, his voice, his teasing. I just miss him and I hate that I will never get to hold him or talk to him ever again.
I'm so sorry to dump this. I think I need to journal instead ..............
Re: Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April/May
Jayne - I'm even further west
Finding it all very tough and worried about Thursday but at this stage I can still only take it one minute at a time. I physically ache with how much I miss Greg. I am tired, sore and emotionally stretched. I have family and support but it isn't Greg and the reality of this is increasingly horrible despite my beautiful babies who continue to make me smile.
Deb - thinking of you and wishing things were so different for you too.
Sending much love to my very special bunch of ladies. You keep me sane in this otherwise insane moment
Re: Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April/May
We have a Ford Territory and 3 seats fit just fine with plenty of room in the boot - or an extra 2 seats if you need them.
I'm around. Just worried about Thursday and increasingly sad. I miss Greg so much that I continue to ache. And then there is my pelvis It is sooooooo sore that I am resigned to no more distance travel until after the birth. It just hurts too much to sit / drive for that long. Greg would have picked up an extra load at this stage and without him I lack the downtime to rest and let it recover.
Anyway, just letting you know I am here just not much to offer.
Michelle - oh hon, I can't believe how much you are having to handle and cope with at the moment, the load is so heavy - the loss of a husband and the grief that entails is quite honestly the hardest burden you could bear, I'm so sorry you are travelling this path. You are in my thoughts so many times throughout the day, I wish I lived closer so I could help you out more. You have just so MANY reminders that Greg is gone, including a sore pelvis, just so many things that scream out to you "he's gone" and with him goes all the love and support you so need right now. Lean on everyone hon, you are surrounded with love, I can feel it.....
Not sure if this will make you feel better - but my best friend lives in Rhodes (not far from you).... she had a reading with a very very very special and gifted psyhcic lady on Saturday (her name is Marcia and I have seen this lady many times, she's been like another mother to me over the years since Chris died). and my DH Chris "took over" her reading..... the things she said were SO helpful to me at the moment, messages from Chris, things I needed to hear - it's not the same as the real thing I know, but it helps me so much to know he is still around and can still 'get to me', even if he has to monopolise my dear friend's reading (she didn't mind though). I have not been 'available' much to him the last few years, with loosing Luc and 2 more babes since then - I have neglected to meditate and tune out, which is the state you need to be in to talk to them..... having said that I'm starting a yoga/meditation class this Thursday, in the hope of 1) much needed relaxation for moi; and 2) to make myself available for some words with Chris....
In time, when you feel ready, I will give you Marcia's details (she is so lovely) and you might get to hear from your Greg in a different way. Huge hugs hon xoxo
Michelle I wish I could take some of that load off your shoulders for a bit hun. I'm thinking of you and feel so damn helpless. I'll be "holding your hand" tomorrow for your scan. Do you have someone to go along with you? I hope you are having a safe drive home today too
Lee I hope your appointment goes well today.
Sorry for the lack of personals this time. I'm stressing out in a huge way and am not thinking straight.
My mum came and took Sage for me for today,tonight and tomorrow while I'm working and MIL(who usually has him) is having surgery today. So I thought I'd do the right thing and let Sage sleep over at my mum's house to save her driving here 2 days in a row especially with an early start tomorrow morning.
Anyway that was all good until she arrived here today and the 1st thing she said to Sage is "Nanna is going to take you for a ride on the train today" That was the 1st I'd heard of him going on a train with her. I didn't say anything and now I'm kicking myself but I didn't want to create any issues before they left. I know its just a train ride but its a 40 minute trip each way and I'm soooooo worried about him. I mean she is my mum and I do trust her to some extent but a 62 year old lady taking a 2.5 yea rold on a train without 1st asking me as his mother or DH if it was ok 1st I know this all sounds very irrational but I stress and worry so much more about him and the thought of someone not being as cautious and careful with my little boy is freaking me out.
The last time he had a sleepover with her,her and my step father took him to MacDonalds and she left him in the play area with step father while she went back in to order food etc and when she came back DS was nowhere to be found in the play area. He was walking around the restaurant holding some strangers hand who was asking random people if he belonged to them When I told DH about that incident he flipped. I just feel bad that I couldn't take the 2 days off work to care for him myself I know I sound like a total nut case but he's my little boy and if something were to happen I just don't know what I'd do.
Sorry for the rant and its probably unreasonable for me to be feeling the way I am but I just can't help it
Mako - I certainly know how you feel. My IL's took my girls down the coast swimming in the ocean without asking me. Firstly that is an hours drive away and I fret if my kids go in the car with someone else, and secondly they had 4 kids in the water with them including my 2 yo. I had a panic attack but they survived albeit sunburnt. Hugs babe it is a hard position to be in
Re: Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April/May
Hi girls. Scan was all good and the littlest man is measuring to dates so far. Relieved but desperately wanting a Greggles cuddle to make everything alright again Not happening I know but I can dream. Next scan is in 4 weeks to monitor progress.
Just wishing this wasn't my world, my life. I am lonely despite being surrounded and unbelievably sad. I feel empty and hollow and just a shell that functions to survive. My babies are my world but it is so hard to keep going every day when this blackness would be so much easier to give in to.
Don't panic. I'm not at risk. Just miserable and missing him so much that it hurts. My little man told Nanny and Poppy that he didn't have a Daddy anymore, his Daddy died it breaks my heart every time.
Oh Michelle... my heart is broken for you and your kids too. No-one should have to go through what you're going through and I wish I could take it all away and bring Greg back for you. I am soooo pleased that the scan went well.
Mako - I'm glad you've got your little man back and hope that you were able to enjoy the night without him just a little bit!!
Jayne - Will give you a call soon to organise a catch up for next week!!
Sorry everyone, no time for more personals. I'm trying to keep reading but don't have much time to post. All going well with us. I'm getting nervous about my 12 week scan that's booked for next Wednesday over here in Perth. I know I shouldn't be, as my ob pretty much said that we're in the clear now but I can't help it. My tummy is growing nicely and it is reasurring but still. I just can't wait to hear all is ok again.
Michelle - I am so glad all is well with Omar. On the other hand I am sad that you are feeling so very empty and alone. My heart breaks for your little man too.
Mako - I would be telling your mum what you expect. We've had to talk to all our parents at one stage or another about things they've done with/to the kids. If the lines of communication are open then you all know where you stand. Be prepared for your mum to feel a little put out for a bit though.
Kel - Good to hear all is ok
We've made some progress with Eva's sleep. She isn't really sleeping much longer but she isn't freaking out whenever we put her in the cot. I've worked out that I need to sing and dance around the room rigorously to get her settled before we put her down, then when she is settled we pat, pat, pat and pat some more. Then I wait till she tries to move and pat some more lol. Progress is progress. Miss Loren is also pretty much toilet trained too. Although I am not confident to try a public outing yet. Love to all
MICHELLE _ SO so so glad to hear that Omar is growing!!! You must be relieved.
I have gossip............
Guess who's coming to Melbourne in September????
Please don't mention this on facebook yet. My parents are still getting over the fact that we went overseas. They are going to have a meltdown when they know we are doing TWO holidays in ONE year. We got a good deal for Mary Poppins the Musical, so we decided why not? So only you girlies know & of course my bestie. I know it's not a 'secret', but my family & Alan's are strange at the best of times. I'll tell them when it gets closer to the date.
Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April/May
Thinking of you as always.
We will survive (I hope) - just one step at a time.
. D has been a superstar, he slept through the whole thing, even though he'd been fasting! We elected for him to have a spinal, rather than a GA, but the recovery nurse thought he'd had the GA because he was so fast asleep! It wasn't til she checked his notes again after awhile that she realised he'd had a spinal LOL. What a good little boy 
. He is soooo beautiful, I feel like I'm bonding with him so well these days. Thanks for all your kind wishes and support, it really does help 
and there were too many Daddies and their babies playing 
Even worse, I took them to the park that Greg used to always take them to. Poor monkeys had to deal with a blubbering Mummy who realised that she might think she is ok but in reality she isn't. 
It is sooooooo sore that I am resigned to no more distance travel until after the birth. It just hurts too much to sit / drive for that long. Greg would have picked up an extra load at this stage and without him I lack the downtime to rest and let it recover. 
That was the 1st I'd heard of him going on a train with her. I didn't say anything and now I'm kicking myself but I didn't want to create any issues before they left. I know its just a train ride but its a 40 minute trip each way and I'm soooooo worried about him. I mean she is my mum and I do trust her to some extent but a 62 year old lady taking a 2.5 yea rold on a train without 1st asking me as his mother or DH if it was ok 1st 
When I told DH about that incident he flipped. I just feel bad that I couldn't take the 2 days off work to care for him myself 
I know I sound like a total nut case but he's my little boy and if something were to happen I just don't know what I'd do. 
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