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Oh Mako.. I can't stop thinking about you hun and agree with what everyone else has said... give yourself some time to deal with it all and think things through. I understand what you mean though, I was talking to DH about it all last night and we were also wondering how many times we can keep going through this, it's just way too hard. Please take it easy and know that we're all here for you WHENEVER you need us.
As for me... my god woman... please use all your energy to focus on yourself. I'm in tears again at your thoughtfullness (sp?) but honestly you've got nothing to be sorry about. How else are you supposed to break such heartbreaking news. Please don't worry about me, if anything, tbh, I feel like I'm in a really hard situation now and don't want to make your pain even worse. Although I still don't want to get my hopes up, if everything is ok, I'm going to feel terrible as I know it just has to hurt you a tiny bit. I'm even wondering if I should be posting much atm... as scared as I am, you need much more support right now and I just want to do what's right for you. Honestly, you're an amazing woman and I just wish I could make it all ok.
Hugs.
Kel xxx
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Kelly PLEASE don't stop posting. You also need lots of support now and I want to be able to offer that as best as I can too. Yes things are hard for me right now too but I have the attitude right now that I've copped a sh*t hand of it atm and I am more angry about it more than anything but I'm praying like mad everything works out beautifully for you along with Jo,Laney,Bonham and Michelle and anyone else who is pregnant in here. While I am hurting I want you to know that I'm still very happy for everyone else in here growing nice strong bubbas.
Well I've been to see my GP and have spoken with my Ob and a D&C is booked in for tomorrow. I'm relieved and absolutely packing myself at the same time. I've never had a D&C under these circumstances before and am so so scared. I was given the choice of either tomorrow or Tuesday to give my body a chance of doing its own thing but I really don't think I want to go through another natural M/C ever again especially at the same gestation as the last one. It was just awful awful awful nor do I want DH or DS seeing me in so much physical pain again.
I've just tried calling my boss and she didn't answer her phone so she'll have to wait and I just sent my mother a text and she can't talk cos she's out with friends for the day so she can wait too. She didn't bother asking how I was or anything so I can see an interesting conversation happening later :rolleyes:
Anyway thanks again to you all. I'm going to go lay down and try and get rid of this damn headache I have yet again.
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Mako - you're an absolutely amazing person and I have nothing but admiration for you and all you're going through. Thank you for your understanding and I hope that we can all help you through this difficult time. As for the D&C.. don't be scared. I've had three of them and they're nothing to be worried about. It's a quick proceedure and appart from a bit of bleeding when I first got up out of the bed after it was done, I really didn't have any bleeding, just a bit of spotting for a few days... and no pain at all... other than emotional pain of course. It's not pleasant but sounds much better than trying to do it the natural way.. in my opinion anyway.
As for you boss and your Mum... let them wait. How insensitive and certainly not what you need right now... use us instead, we all understand.
Take care hun and rest up. I still can't believe you're having to go through this again... just not fair at all. My heart is aching for you.
Kel xxx
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Mako - just sending you my love and thoughts today, and tomorrow. It's wrong you are having to do this, I'm so very sorry. Now is not the time to be making choices, just be kind to yourself, and let your emotions flow whichever way they must. I completely understand how you feel re. your mother, mine is very similar. Don't let selfish insensitive people infiltrate okay, many love you, so you are still a rich lady, the others don't matter in the end. Take care, love Lee xoxoxo
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mako, you have been in my thoughts all day. I had a D&E after I lost Parker, it is very similar to a D&C. The worst part was the wait in the hospital.
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Thanks to you all again for your posts on here and your texts.
I'm a wreck this morning and it hasn't helped that DH has gone to work and not said anything to me about today except to get the hospital to only call him if I need to be picked up after 3pm and that he'll come get me then and drop me home with DS as he has to work again later this afternoon. Damn stupid people who want all their reno's done before Easter :wall: and other tradies are waiting on him to do some of his part so they can either start or finish.
Anyway that may change depending how I am after everything today.He has been wonderful and I know he's hurting really bad too :(
I ended up telling my mum last night and her response didn't surprise me at all. It was like she didn't even hear what I said as she never said anything about it or what was happening today just went on to tell me how many goals my nephew scored at soccer on Sunday so I HUNG UP on her :redface: I know thats not a mature thing to do but I wasn't prepared to waste my time listening to her talk about the "golden family" who treat her like crap. Anyway enough of my whinging cos thats what it seems like I'm doing lately and I'm sorry.
Janie how is your gorgeous little man doing at home hun? I hope things are going smoothly for you all :hug:
I'd better get going as I have heaps to do before I go to hospital.
Thanks again to you all for you support and Spring sorry about the little mix up last night I have 1 person in my phone with the same 1st name as you and then you but one of you have BB next to your names so I can tell who is who but because I met you both on here I got a little confused :redface:
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Mako - Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you today. Hope all goes well.. make sure you rest. Hugs.
Kel xxx
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I am also thinking of you today Mako. I hope it goes as well as it can. I am still feeling so so awful for you hun, wish there was something I could do :hug:
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Sweet Mako I'm thinking of you today. My candle is lit and you are in my prayers... :comfort:
I really wish I could do something for you but please know my heart is hurting for you... :hug:
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Mako, I am so so sorry sweetheart..............and I'm sorry my words are so inadequate :hug:. You are amazing, to be asking about me during your traumatic time. We are doing really well at home, thank you for asking. Thinking of you today hun, and holding your hand xoxo
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Having one of those days today :(
DH has gone away to work for a few days and while I will be busy I miss him and need him close ATM.
Feeling like a very special lady is being dealt a cruddy hand and there is nothing I can do to fix it and I am not even close enough to do something useful :(
Damn pregnancy hormones. Not to mention the countdown is on. 3 weeks to go ........
Janie - so pleased things are going well :hug:
BBL when I am less of a misery guts.
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Mako: here for you Hun, been thinking of you all day.
Michelle: :hug:
Janie: I'm delighted your Little lad Is home.
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Mako - I've been thinking of you today and I'm sorry I haven't called or txted, I've been with my Nan (she's not doing so well :() and have only just picked DD up from school etc etc. I won't call tonight because I'm sure that you'll just want to be with your boys but will call you tomorrow. Good on you for hanging up on your mum :clap: I would have done/said a lot more. Don't waste any more energy or emotion on her, just look after yourself :comfort:
I was actually thinking of driving up today to see you because I feel so bloody useless being so far away, but I'm sticking close to home atm in case my mum needs me. I'm sorry I can't do more :( I wish for the 1,000th time I lived closer.
I hope you are feeling OK physically. I had a D&C at 12 weeks and didn't have any physical pain or discomfort, I am hoping you find the same. The emotional side of it is a totally different story :hug:
Janie - So pleased to hear you're all home and doing well :)
Michelle - :hug:
Sorry for the lack of personals guys. This has been a truly cruddy week and I just don't have much to say.
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Just a quick one to let you know I've just got home. No pain at the moment but a shocking headache and broken heart. I'll be back later but want to give you all a :grouphug: I know this is corny but I love you all :hug:
Going to go lie down for a bit.
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Right back at you hun :hug: In my thoughts xx
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And right back at you from me too honey..xxx :hug:
Try & rest my love & know we are with you in spirit. :hug:
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Mako - massive, massive :hug: to you hun. Take care of yourself OK? I wish there were more I could say to help :(
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Mako - Massive, massive :hug: and :comfort: Have been thinking of you.. my heart is breaking for you. I'm sure the extra hormones aren't helping but I'm so devistated and upset. It's really, really affecting me (I guess for obvious reasons).
Michelle - :hug: have been thinking of you too.. approaching such a difficult time. We're here for you.
Janie - Sooooo pleased all is going well. Will give you a call soon.. I think I might need to come for a visit if you're feeling up to it.
Can't really say much more. I think we all need a big :grouphug: and I hope in a few weeks Michelle and I can both have some good news for this thread again. Although I'm still trying to live in De-Nile.. particularly now.. and I don't want to hurt Mako any more... you're going through enough right now.
Kel xxx
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I'm sorry guys I didn't want to post about this... but I'm really struggling a bit today and just need to get this out... I know the timing is bad but I don't know where else to turn. I'm finding everything a bit difficult, not only becuase of the terrible, terrible news from Mako but because yesterday was one of my angels EDD's (the one I lost in August). I knew it was going to be a tough time for me, particularly because I wanted to be pg so badly by this time (and obviously I am but it's still not confirmed, so it's not making me feel any better... if anything it's worse)!! I just feel like it's all getting on top of me and of course being over here.. away from my family.. is making it seem so much worse.
Sorry, I just had to get that out.
Kel xx
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Mako - right back at you, I hope you are resting up tonight, giving your broken heart some quiet time to reflect, your little angel who flew away to be with the others is still safe, I just wish they were still with you :shakehead: Just keep an eye on yourself physically, I had very little loss after my d&c initially, but they kept having the odd gush for weeks afterwards, eventually it all eased up, take care dear lady xoxoxo
Kelly - now what the hell are you doing out of de-nile girl, I don't recall any of us letting you out of there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get yourself right back in, and stay put, batten down the hatches, hug your little man a bit tighter in the process, and don't open the door for no man or beast okay !!!!! Hugs babe xoxo
Michelle - think you'd better get back in de-nile with Kell. Wish I could hit the fast forward button for all of you xoxo
AFM - blah blah blah here too girls - having some problems with my dd12, her body image, teenage stuff, still feeling pretty meh, but won't crap on about it atm, nothing that won't resolve one way or another....hugs all round.
Lee xo
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Hi Ladies,
sorry about the all me post.
I am feeling a bit nervous. First scan jitters. I am also really really dizzy and lightheaded, it started yesterday. I don't think that it is the clexane. I have been taking it for 2 weeks now and I have felt okay. I did not have this issue when pregnant with Grayson and I took clexane for a year. I feel better when I am flat out in bed. I can't do that for very long because i have to chase after Grayson. I don't know what is going on but it kind of feels like low BP. I am trying to tell myself that it is just a first trimester sickness that I have never experienced before. I am glad that I will be in my doctor's office tomorrow. It will probably be Saturday AM before I post...time difference and all.
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Kelly - I just wanted to pop in and give you a big :hug: This must be particularly difficult for you. I know that Mako is hurting badly but she understands how this sort of news affects you more so when you are pregnant. It makes you so much more vulnerable. We are here for you too, so don't feel like you can't post about how you're feeling. That's what we're here for.
Laney - I don't even think I've said Congratulations :redface: I'm so sorry! I hoe you are feeling better soon and it is just run of the mill morning sickness. Fingers crossed for your scan, I hope everything looks just beautiful.
Mako - :comfort: How are you feeling today? Thinking of you constantly. Have had a rough few days here (won't bore you with the details, it's nothing in comparison) but I am here whenever you need to talk. Feel free to call/txt/email/PM me any time.
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Kelly Willow is so right hun. You need all our support right now and please don't worry about upsetting me ;)
Laney I hope everything is just perfect with your scan hun and the way you are feeling is just a bit of ms and bub is letting you know all is ok :hug:
Willow I'm thinking of you and your Nan constantly. I hope today has been a little better for her and all of you :hug:
Michelle I'm sending you a :hug: to hun. I can't even begin to imagine how hard the next few weeks are going to be for you :hug: Just know we are all here for you whenever you want ;)
I'm not too bad considering. Mornings are far worse than any other time of day for some reason. DH,DS and I are going away tomorrow over night so that should be interesting to say the least atm(we're camping with DH's extended family) :rolleyes: I'm thinking it should be ok as there will be plenty of hands to help with DS so I'll be able to rest whenever I want and not have to cook or any of that sort of stuff.
I hope you all enjoy your weekend.
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MAKO _ A weekend away sounds like it could be a good idea - might just give you some rest away from the home???
Interesting weekend coming up for me, my BIL has walked out on my sister. The same BIL who my sister has nursed, showered, dressed his wounds, cooked & cleaned for the past 5 months. :shakehead:
xx
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Hi Ladies,
some good news and some soso news. There was a bub in the correct location. A tiny heart was flickering. Big cyst on the right like I thought it would be :( Bub was also measuring 3 days smaller than I expected. I guess that it is possible I had a bfp 9 days after ovulation but I doubt it. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that the measurements were just off a bit. Bub was very high in my uterus and my uterus was very high in my abdomen, making it hard to see things. It is just a waiting game now I guess. I couldn't see my doctor today because he had to run to the hospital for a birth. I will have to go back on Monday to talk to him.
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Mako - Hope you enjoy your weekend away hun. Thinking of you constantly.
Jayne - OMG hun... I don't even know what to say. I really hope it's not a permanent thing but maybe just a reaction to all that's been going on in his life and maybe his way of not wanting to put her through any more... but it doesn't sound good. Certainly not the way I would do it and what about the poor kids. I hope your sister is ok. Massive hugs.
Laney - I know how hard this time is and I'll be right there going through it with you this week. The waiting is just the worst.. massive hugs. Sorry for my ignorance but how will the cyst affect things?
My scan is on Wednesday and I should be 6 wks by then. I'm terrified as I always measure smaller than I think I should be but this time I did OPK's and so pretty much know when I should have O'd... scary, maybe that was a bad idea on my part. Luke was the same though, a week behind where I thought he should be and he was ok. Gotta hold onto whatever hope there is I guess but still trying to stay in the world of De-Nile. I just need to get through the next two weeks or so and I should know what's going on. I just want to know one way or the other... but at the same time... oh god, it's just impossible. I wish I was better at dealing with all this, it's starting to consume me again :(
Kel xx
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Kelly, the cyst is supposed to be there. It is a corpus luteum that formed where I ovulated. It produces hormones and keeps AF away. The only thing is...all of the pregnancies that I have lost came from my right ovary. The cysts were always large and didn't go away like they were supposed to. I can't get rid of this feeling that my right ovary is an issue. One more thing for me to stress about for the next 7+ months.
Good luck with your scan. I will be thinking of you.
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KEL _ That scan is coming around quickly - but not quick enough for you I can imagine. I am feeling good things coming your way!!! Heaven knows you deserve it. I'll be waiting & waiting & waiting for good news. Is Ryann home by then to come along with you? Yep, Ben took off just before lunchtime yesterday & hasn't been seen or heard of since. Didn't even come back to get his medication last night. His family are causing MAJOR issues in their marriage & she told him yesterday either his mother stops interfering or she is going to walk away - honestly, that's how bad it has become & he said 'well i'll make it easy for you' & he literally walked away. He can't drive so he went on foot. He has most probably gone to his mother's house - the root of the very problem & you would think she would have come & gotten him some clothes & his medication - but nope! I'm leaving for beijing on Friday night & I really don't want to leave my sister like this, but what do I do?
LANEY _ I think that you need to hold onto the good news, what else can we do in times like this? 3 days isn't a 'huge' difference, like Kelly has said, she is always a week or so behind, so perhaps that 3 days is a measuring issue & will gain back that 3 days in time to come? Sorry, just trying to see the good in everything! LOL
Oh & ladies, will you please check out my ticker??? :lol:
Love Jayne xx
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Woo hoo Jayney :clap: Doing well!!!
Update from Lisa - all is going well and Natalya is feeding beautifully. Unfortunately she will be in for a few more days due to Lisa having an infection but otherwise they are well. Just missing Miss A. And I got a sneaky peek of the stunningly gorgeous babe - and she grows beautiful little ones too :D
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Jayney - WTG on the weight loss. I've recently lost 3kgs. hugs for your sister.
Michelle - Thanks for the update on Lisa. I hope you are traveling ok.
Lisa - Lovely name for your princess
Laney - Hold onto the positive hun. Every thing sounds good.
Mako - You are in my thoughts lovely.
Willow - Hugs.
Kelly - I have everything crossed for Wednesday.
Hi to all.
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Jayne: I really feel for your sis, what a terrible situation. Holy cow! Look at your ticker!!! What's your secret?
Laney: it is so easy to get worried but it all sounds really good to me.
Kel: I've got everything possible crossed for your scan. You deserve some good news.
Michelle: how you travelling Hun in the lead up to 25 weeks? Here for you through this.
Mako: hugs, hugs and even more hugs
Willow: hope your Nan is doing ok. It must be such a difficult time. :hug:
Lee: how are those gorgeous kids of yours? Can you believe how quickly our boys are growing?
Deb: thinking of you sweetie :comfort:
Bun: how are you going with the two? The photos on FB are adorable.
Bonham: great news babe. So happy you've passed an important milestone.
Bek: Hun I was just thinking the other day how awesome it is that you're still feeding Eva. I'm mighty proud of you.
Janie: how are your adorable boys? Is D settling in well?
Well my news, I bit the bullet and joined Jenny Craig. I've set my goal at 25kgs and I'm feeling pumped and positive about it. I feel the cost is such an extravagance but I've got to do something. I Want to loose it before ttc again. So hopefully before long I'll be following in Jayne's footsteps.
Lv Spring
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SPRING SPRING SPRING :shakehead: There is NO WAY you have 25kg to lose! I think you should re-assess to a figure that is achievable! If you lost 25kg you would be a walking skeleton!!!!
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Hi lovelies,
Spring - I agree with Jayne - I can't see that you would have that much spare to loose!!! But whatever your goal is, I'm with you all the way! I'm going back on Tony Fergusson come Monday, I really like it because it's a no-brainer (shake for brekkie, soup/salad for lunch, low carb normal-ish dinner, with 2 pieces of fruit whenever you like) and as I don't have a brain atm, it suits me well lol !!! I want to shed 20kg, 25 would be better - but 15kg will be my first goal! And did I hear you say those three letters "ttc" - thats nice!!!! ;-) !! I made an appointment with my Ob for after Easter to get the mirena, so no more babes for me, but I think I've done my bit anyway! And yes I agree, our boys are GORGEOUS but growing too fast!! Flynn is such a contented little fella, I love him beyond words.
Jayne - your sister's hubbie sounds off the mark - to be honest, I hate it when men choose their mothers over their wives (sorry, because I know I don't know their story, just a little pet hate of mine) - hopefully they will sort it out okay.
Laney - sounds pretty damm good to me too hon, so far so GOOD okay!
Kell - you're still in de-nile right???
Mako - how are you sweety? I know, you are most likely bl--dy crappy, hugs coming your way xoxoxoxo
Hi to everyone else - I now have my MIL and DH's sister from Canada here - to be honest, it's less a help than I would have liked. You know what it's like having visitors - they create more work, but do not help me with the children/cleaning etc.... so no change there - they have cooked a bit which is good though. I'm still not in a good space - and I'm really beginning to understand the root of the problem - but it's a problem that seems almost impossible to fix............ it's all to do with grieving over my first DH's death - girls, I'm just NOT OVER IT, I miss him every day, I miss talking to him, I miss his interactions with his children, I miss laughing with him, I miss planning with him - I care about DH2 now, but (and I'm being really honest here) he is not measuring up near close to DH1. I know I should not compare, and it's such a COMPLICATED situation - I don't feel I'm making much sense. My DD12 does not get along that great with DH2, and he presses her buttons which does not help - at the end of the day, he is their step-dad, he spends very little quality time with them - I'm just still so SAD for them that they lost their Dad, who idolised them - and to now have a setp-dad who is not really that interested - well it KILLS ME.... as I say, this is not a situation I can really alter........ but I feel a bit better getting it out. I cry about this every day, no kidding - what happened is just so tragic, that my heart breaks every day - how the hell do I get past this, accept my lot, accept the bum deal my older kids got, accept it will never be as good.......open to ALL advice here :shakehead:
Lee xoxoxo
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Lee: firstly :comfort: I Can read the pain in your words. I am so so sorry that your DH1 was taken from you. I can't even imagine what it must be like to walk that journey. It must hurt so darn hard. I think you are dealing with such huge issues that dredge up very intense feelings of grief and loss. Hun, perhaps it's time to reach out and ask for help. Perhaps seek some counselling. I've been to counselling before and it really helped me. No one expects you to get through this alone. If it is upsetting you on a daily basis then I think it might be time to reach out. A huge cuddle is coming your way.
Jayne: 25 kgs will still be in my healthy weight range :redface:
