Didn't expect to be quite so condemned for admitting to my want to be able to call more than I do.

But the reality is that I have a severe and chronic illness. When it's all I can do to get myself and Sam through the day clothed and fed, most of the time making a simple phone call is just way too exhausting for me. The act of holding the phone to my ear becomes painful, the effort of thinking through words and actually forming them to say is exhausting and difficult. I don't call anyone. I communicate in text because typing takes less effort than holding a phone and I have time to think and form words coherently. That's my reality. It sucks, I wish it were different, but it's a fairly normal day for me to just lay on the lounge and turn the TV on and hope to keep Sam happy and entertained enough... not because that's the way I want to live my life, but because I simply don't have the energy to do anything else. I live in constant pain and it is exhausting. I'm struggling with medications to reduce the pain making me so sick I can't move and can't do anything with Sam.

It's not a nice reality and I don't often get as blunt as I have, but I just want people to know that I'm not like this out of choice. As much as I may wish or will things to be different, I have no choice.

BW