Parenting after Miscarriage or loss ~ July 2010

Willow, I know, I know! I had missed our little fb chats as well, I'm having serious FB withdrawals. But I'm soooooooooo glad I can catch up with you on here. I still have my same e-mail addy though, so e-mail away!!!!

This morning we had our breakky at Crowne Plaza & then we have come for a meet & greet at Alan's workshop & were whisked away directly after arriving for another lunch. I'm soooooooooooooo freaking full. How am I going to hide behind lampposts when all I do in China is eat & eat & eat?? Seriously! lol

Well, I hope everybody is having a tops weekend. I'm certainly enjoying myself. Especially knowing that tomorrow is school day & I have two very excited school girls!

Love Jayne x

Hi Lee, I can't remember the birth anymore. I would say smoothly, but I think DH found it pretty traumatic. I bet you're busy with 4! Fynn sounds gorgeous!

Freya, :hug: Sorry about your D&C. I had almost no bleeding on the ones where they "got everything", as awful as that sounds.

Jayne, how cool that your DDs are starting school! Such an exciting step. I hope all went well today and they loved it. Oh, I didn't realise that you're in China! I'd love to read more.

Willow Poor little man. I hope the ventolin helps and he feels better soon.

PASH _ We just relocated to China from WA, we have only been over here bout 10 days or so. My DH has worked here for the last 3 years doing FIFO & recent turn of events suggested we all needed to make some drastic changes to keep the marriage alive & so here we are. Yes, the kids started school today. In China they educate the children formally from 3 years, so my youngest baby started today. I shed tears, she didn't. :rolleyes: Jess will be 6 in December & Claudia is 3.5 years. They both had absolutely brilliant, awesome, fantastic, superb days & can't wait for tomorrow. They are so hyped I'm having bedtime issues right now!

Am so sorry for such a selfish post, tell me more about you!

BW _ Darl, you sound like you have some very valid points & you are at peace with it so I think that's a great thing. You are realistic about your situation (even though it won't be like this forever), but you are sensible in your approach. I think you're amazing. Sam is a very lucky little man to have you as parents & you have a wonderful husband who helps out & why go & complicate things further. Does this make any sense?? I mean this in the most positive of ways.

AFM _ Well, the girls started school today. Was a rocky morning at home, but we got to school & even though both were very nervous, shy & anxious, there were no tears, no screaming down the hallway when I left & I returned at 3:20pm to very happy little girls who couldn't tell me about their days fast enough. I think this might just work.............

Love Jayne xx

Jayne (((hug))) You are doing great - and so will they.

Heading off the the IL's tomorrow with just the iPad :) so I will have internet access. I will take the children too of course!!! We have a wedding on Wednesday and a few days with Greg's parents. Back there in a weeks time for All Souls Day and a blessing of the graves at a 6pm mass. Should be a lovely spring evening high on the hill.

A selfish post tonight - this time 12 years ago I was having a fabulous time at a ball. Like Cinderella, I met my Prince Charming that night on the sound of midnight (well, got together with him :D) and we lived happily until his ever after. I miss him tonight - as I do every night. But tonight is a hard one. I expected to be with this man for a long, long time. Instead it was 1/3 of his life and close to 1/3 of mine. Now I face an uncertain future where I miss my other piece and I wonder if I will ever feel whole and loved again :(

Happy anniversary my gorgeous one xxxxxxxxxxxx

Michelle,

May Prince Charming be looking down on his Cinderella as always, with a wicked smile on his face remembering all the wonderful times you have shared together. Forever in both of your hearts.

xx

Michelle big big :hug: for you hun. I hope you have a nice little break away this week :hug:

Freya How are you doing? Have you thought any more about further testing etc?

Willow WOOHOO so you're back then?? I miss you being around here even though we talk on FB and IRL etc..its just not the same as seeing you around here kwim?

Jayne Sounds like everything is going well in China :) Keep letting us know what you're up to and how the girls are doing. I hope the girls are having a great day at school again today :)

We are not too bad..Just organising things for Sage's party on Saturday and have been stressing out trying to arrange back up plans in case it rains but have just decided to take some tarps and poles etc and will put them up if it does happen to rain..anyway what kid doesn't like playing in the rain lol..I'm surprised how sad I've been feeling about him actually turning 3 :( I thought I'd be ok with that but it seems like I'm not doing that well. I know that sounds silly and I'm happy that he's growing into a big boy but I don't know..
Maybe its all the other emotions running around my head atm too..waiting for the wicked witch to show up any day isn't really helping nor is the fact that I'm approaching yet another EDD next week and not preg again..I don't know I think I should be used to all that by now but it still kind of creeps up on me.
Anyway I should get going and get some more presents wrapped while the little one is sleeping :)

Hi to Lisa, Kelly,Janie,Deb,Lee,Pash,Bun,Bek,Spring,and anyone else I have missed. I hope everyone is ok

Lol, Mako - stressing about birthday parties is what happens to me as well. I have no idea why I get soooooooo obsessed with thinking that little kids notice tiny little things. I know exactly the stress feeling. Already I'm panicking about Jessica's birthday. She wasn't going to have a party, but given that there are only 6 in her school class, I'm thinking I could pull it off........... Best of luck with Saturday, I hope everything goes beautifully!!! What special presents is the big boy getting? Oh sweetheart, I can completely understand why you are feeling so sad. I feel so sad FOR you..........

Well, it's been fun here today for us. The kids are on holidays for 2 days from school & there is a MASSIVE mall right next door which I find inside has an ice skating rink. So I took the kids ice skating today & because it's all brand new, there was only 2 others on the ice, we basically had it all to ourselves. PLUS there was a 'normal' toilet there which is such a big thing for us! bahahhaha. We don't go out long enough to warrant using ANY toilets because they are all the squatting variety, so to find a 'normal' toilet just about sent me over the edge with happiness!!!

After that we had Maccas, which is where I met an American man with his 2 kids who said there are lots of Australians in his apartment complex on the SAME ROAD as me! Woooooooooooooooot!!!! (Small things I know!)

Then I found a really cute kids clothing store & spent a bomb in there but it's the first big spree I have been on & the girls are going to look sooooooooooooooooooo cute in their new styles!

Wooooot for me!!!

Love Jayne x

Jayne - It's sooo fantastic reading about your new adventure!! Sounds like you're having a great time.. good on you!! How do the girls like school and the move in general? Are they coping with it all ok? Sounds like they might be!! Make sure you keep the updates coming, they're fab!!


Mako - Enjoy Sage's birthday this weekend.. I'm praying it doesn't rain but as you have said.. what kid doesn't like playing in the rain - LOL. I'm sure it will be wonderful no matter what!! They just grow up way too fast hey? It's so scary. I hate that you're having to face another yet another EDD... sending you some massive hugs hun, it's been such a tough year for you and I wish I could make it all better.

Michelle - Hugs babe.. I'm still thinking of you ALL the time!! And I just love what Jayne wrote about your 'anniversary'.. couldn't have been said any better, she's certainly got a way with words!! Love it and hope you're doing ok (like that's even possible).

Willow - Hows Bubba D going? Poor little poppet.. it's just not fair.

Freya - I'm thinking of you all the time atm too hun... I hope you're doing ok. Have you thought any more about getting some testing done?

Big hello's to everyone else.

AFM - All good in our little world (appart from all the general challenges at this late stage of pregnancy - LOL)!! I'm getting VERY excited now about meeting our new little bub but for some reason get very nervous around this time too... just as the big day gets closer and all... it's been such a long time coming for us and the last couple of weeks are almost the worst.. I have to keep thinking all the positive thoughts (I have no reason not to but ykwim). I just can't wait to hold this little one in my arms.. after all the kicking it's been doing lately.. I'll need to have a good talking to it too - LOL. I can't believe I'll only be pregnant for just under 3 weeks and then that's it for us... forever!! Really need to keep reminding myself of that and try to enjoy it as much as possible. It's hard though, when everything hurts so much and I can't sleep - LOL. Anyway enough of that, I've been trying not to post too much as I don't want to upset anyone... but still feel the need to share a little of what I'm gonig through - hope that's ok with everyone!

Kel xxx

Awwww Kelly I'm sure that you're not upsetting anybody in sharing your excitement and joy. It's a wonderful experience for you & we all know only too well how precious it is to have a little person growing inside us. I'm sooooooooooooooo excited for you. I was only just looking at my calendar this morning thinking 11 Nov is getting very close!!! I actually think the kids have adjusted really, really, really well, Jessica has joined her classroom without a moment's hesitation. To the point she won't let me go through the door of the class anymore, she tells me now she is grown up enough to have a big desk, you just kiss your kids goodbye at the door :( She has made lovely friends with all the kids in the class & it's surprised me a lot, but her 'best friend' in class is actually a boy. I never thought I would see the day!!! Alan is away atm & that hasn't happened without me expressing my disgust at it being his second business trip when we have only been here 2 weeks. I'm not at all amused. I find Alan finds it a bit tiring having the kids around him all the time, but I have to think it has been 3 years since he has lived with them full-time, but I don't make any other allowances to it either. I have this real 'thing' that they are MY kids, where I have to start letting him be the dad, I have to realise I am the mum now, not the mum AND the dad, KWIM?

Willow - What's happening with Little D? I don't have Fb to stalk & you need to keep me in the loop!!!

Lazy day here, did a bit of grocery shopping, might stroll down for an icecream later. Claudia is asleep on the couch, so Jess & I are just chilling.

xx

Hi guys. Sorry it has been FOREVER since I have been in here, time just seems to be slipping away at the moment! We are waiting on all the details for our move back to Perth so have been very busy getting the house ready to sell and there has been a bit to do before it goes on the market. I am also trying to find a rental to live in once we are in Perth as we have tenants in our house for a few more months. We are contemplating buying another place in Perth and selling the place we have there, but it is just soooo expensive I don't see how that is going to happen! I have my parents staying for the next week too which will be nice, but it has been a very busy time of late!

Again, it was so very lovely to meet those of you who made it to Melbourne. Since I will be the only Perth person soon I suppose it will be unlikely that there will ever be a Perth meet up so I am disappointed that I may not get to meet any of you again! Melb girls, I will make sure we catch up again before we leave :)

jayne - It is so good to hear you sounding so happy in China. That must have been a huuuuge move, especially with Jess being so sick right before the move and I think you have handled it so well. I was a complete mess before our move over here and I was staying in the same country! I am glad to hear that the girls have adjusted so well and are loving school - that must be a huge relief for you. And the shopping sounds amazing! How are you finding it there? I would also be pretty peeved with Alan having gone away for work twice when the whole reason for moving there was so that you wouldn't be apart so often. And I suppose it must be strange for both of you being there all the time after so many years. I hope you get into a groove soon and that the work trips ease up!

Mako - happy birthday Sage! I hope he has had a lovely day and that the weather has held out for his party. How are you going? Have you made an appointment with the specialist you have decided to see?

freya - how are you feeling sweetie? Have you decided to go ahead with the testing? I also found that no one wanted to treat me until I had suffered three miscarriages in a row, even though I had gone through two miscarriages and had no children, and in my mind that was enough to warrant testing. I ended up seeing a private specialist who would do the testing I wanted if I was prepared to pay for it, regardless of how many losses I had suffered. Good luck hun. How are the boys?

Spring - how is O's thumb? That looked sooo painful, I would have been screaming for days if it had happened to me!

Michelle - how are you going luv? I also love what jayne said - so beautiful.

kelly - of course it is ok to post how you are feeling! We all know how trying those last few weeks are. You are doing great hun and you are nearly there now! Any thoughts on what you are having? I am still convinced it is a girl. And do you have names sorted?

willow - good to see you in here! How is D going now? And I see that you are moving - are you excited? Looks like both you and I are going to be pretty busy over the next few weeks!

Hi to everyone else. Gotta go - Josh is teething and is being an absolute nightmare ATM!! Will BBL. I hope you are all having a lovely weekend. And Kelly - hang in there while your DH is away!!

Awwwwww Bun, you're going home to Perth definitely!!! I know of a house that's sitting vacant,............... In lovely Waikiki. LOL Are you so excited to be back with your family or did you really get into the groove in Melbs? You haven't been over there for that long either have you? Geepers, time is flying if Josh is teething!! Far out, that must make you sad. Yeah, I'm quite mad about Alan's second business trip & he knows it, he is home tonight. Both trips have only been 2 nights each, but still, I'm in a foreign country for goodness sake & I moved here for HIM! I am loving the shopping, but none of it is market shopping (I think we live in Posh-ville), there is Gucci, Cartier, Givenchy & Armani across the road............... I can't even bring myself to enter the shops & wail at how I can't afford them. I won't put myself through that torture. I have found an ok priced shop called Zara where they do men, womens & kids & I have bought the kids a few things from there & I plan on having a shop there for myself when they are at school on monday. There is a new harbour opened up called Darling Harbour (funnily enough) & we had a walk around there today. It's part of the Qingdao Olympic Sailing Centre, where they held the sailing for 2008 Beijing Olympics, it's not an international venue & there is heaps of construction, so it's going to be exciting for us. Also, there is a Tepanyaki Restaurant there today which I JUST LOVE Tepanyaki. It's one of those restaurants where you are seated around the chef & he cooks everything literally right before your eyes & serves it directly onto your plate. I have already told Alan we are going there tomorrow. See, listen to me, freaking FOOD!!! I can't get enough of it. I'm goign to end up needing a wide load seat coming home for Christmas. I was supposed to get skinny here, not even more fat. It's depressing!!! Listen to me babble, can you tell I'm deprived of speaking to people who can speak English!!!

Spring - What's happened to Ollie's thumb?

Willow - Fill me in on Little D, please!!!

Mako - Wishing Sage the happiest of birthday parties today, I hope the rain held off & that he had a smashing time in the park with his mates. I hope you're not too exhausted after it all.

Love each & every one of you! xx

Hi girls :) Back from the IL's and I must say it was harder than I had considered it might be. First trip back since May and into the same town / house / room / bed was all a bit too much. For everyone. Mr O was a very clingy being most of the time and on the first night didn't want to go to bed and said "I want Daddy". Baby boy - you aren't the only one :(

Kelly - please, please don't ever feel like you shouldn't post about the good things!!!! The whole purpose of this corner is the support we can give through the ups and the downs. If it is all downs it is rather depressing and I add enough of the sad stuff for everyone ;) Not long to go now!!

Mako - I am so sorry I couldn't be there to wish Sage a happy birthday in person. Soon though ........ I hope you had a lovely day and the sadness is quite understandable. Mr G is 4 months old and I look at him sadly quite often thinking about how quickly it is all going by and how he won't be a baby for too much longer and all of the other things that highlights.

Jayne - skype me woman and I can fill you in on the gossip LOL

2/3 of the little people were sleeping - now 2/3 are awake :wall: I may get to sleep some time this decade / century.

Michelle... I was thinking about you the other day and what a crap friend I have been through all of this. Anyway, I do think of you often and if my phone anxiety weren't as bad as it is I may actually call at some point.

Time is just zooming along so fast, it's really quite scary!

Anyway, I'm feeling decidedly floaty at the moment (two panadeine forte and the new arthritis meds are to blame!) so I'm not even going to try to post more as it will either be completely incoherent or extremely embarrassing when I'm less zonked out by drugs. The arthritis has been a bit up and down lately, but seem to be having a little more luck with my second attempt to start the new meds.

BW

Thanks for all the birthday wishes for Sage ladies :) He had a fantastic time in the park with his little friends although he spent most of his time playing in a garden with his new diggers and dump trucks lol..atleast it was shady under the trees for him. His cake was awesome..I saved myself the stress related to trying to make the perfect cake for my little boy and ordered an excavator cake from a cake decorator not too far from here and it was fantastic.It was a very hot day and we had a few drops of rain as we had just put the last of our things in the cars and once we came home we had a huge storm..I'm very pleased that didn't happen while we were at the park otherwise it might have turned ugly lol.

Michelle I'm pleased you are home now..I can't begin to imagine how difficult the visit to your IL's would have been for you and the little ones :( Sending you a massively big squishy :hug: We need to catch up again soon.

Willow Thank you for coming today and helping us celebrate Sage's birthday..He loves his present you guys gave him and is now asking when he can use it lol. Have I mentioned how excited I am to have you moving closer to me?? I can't wait and hopefully you guys love it up here too :)

Bun It sounds like you've got a lot happening too with moving and visitors and a teething bubba boy. I hope everything works out wonderfully for you with your move back to Perth and I hope those teeth don't cause too much pain for the little man either. How is Miss C doing?
I haven't made an appointment with any new specialists yet. I see my usual OB/GYN this coming Friday though. I'm really not too sure what I want to do.

Kelly PLEASE let us know how you and bub are doing. I can't believe how close you are now :) Have you decided on names? I can't wait to see your BA next month :) How is Luke?

Freya Thinking of you and hope you are as ok as you can be :hug:

Ok I need to go to bed..We have friends coming here at 6 in the morning(from Tamworth and went to a wedding down here today) so he and my DH can go fishing and his wife is coming here to until its time for her to meet her friend at the new shopping centre not far from me. I'm not too impressed that I have to be up at that time on a Sunday but tbh it'll just be like any other morning with a 6am start. Ah the things we do lol.
I hope everyone is ok and Spring OUCH at Ollies finger :(

Bun - DO NOT EVER SAY you will not see us again just cos you are moving West!!! We are all capable of travel..... so really there is no stopping us.... I'm ready for the next meet up right now lol.... how are you feeling about going back, your move was not for long huh?

Michelle - Can you tell me all the goss too babe!! Will talk to you this week - can completely understand how difficult the trip 'back' was.... don't put yourself through it again for a while, thats an order.

Mako - glad to hear your boy's party was great, and you have our every support as you journey forward to your goal babe xoxo

Jayne - I hate you..... well okay, I'm just jealous ;-) but actually very happy China is working out, thats a relief!

BW - I lost a lot of friends after loosing my DH because they just never called me, and by the time they did, they had missed such a huge chunk of my journey, it was too late to repair/catch up.... not meaning to sound mean or rude - just how I see it - I really appreciated the people who "went there" even though they had no idea what to say, and often fumbled, I'll never forget them for having the gumption to pick up the phone....

Kelly - crud girl, keep up those vanilla slices, they will help hold off labour I'm sure hehehehe

Spring - how's mr O and how's Mr B on the sleep front?

Deb - hi gorgeous, what's happening up your way hon, did you listen to those cd's yet?

AFM - flat OUT here, coping ok, have pulled my mum back into line so she's behaving herself again, but most of the work falls on me - been on a bit of a spending spree with hubby alway lol, just new fridge, cupboards etc, in the kitchen, which meant I had a huge clean up, I'm a sucker for punishment, but glad it's cleaner now lol.

Hugs to all,

Lee xoxoxo

Jayney - D is OK, just had another asthma/bronchiolitis flare up the last week and a half. Sucks the big ones and I feel so bad for him when he is unwell like that, but on the bigger scale, things could be a lot worse, you know? He is coming good now and I will probably start weaning his ventolin again tomorrow.

Bun - I didn't realise you were moving back to WA? Are you excited or just tired at the prospect??!! LOL And yes, you are right, things have been flat out here since we got the official word about our move. We are also in a mad hurry to get our house finished (renos) and ready to rent out. We have decided the quickest and easiest way to get us up the coast is to rent our place out for at least 12 months - that way we don't have to hang around waiting for it to sell, it gives us time to suss out the suburbs up there and decide where we want to buy and if things don't work out and we want to come back to Sydney (VERY unlikely!! LOL) then we have an out. So yes...we are busy, busy, busy!

Michelle - I cannot even imagine how hard that visit must have been on you :( I do not pretend to understand what you have been through, but I have experienced the death of a family member at home and I know that I could not enter that room for months. It was just too hard. You are amazing. PS We will have to try to organise a meet up with Freya before we move OK? And after that, you girls can come for a day trip and we'll go to the beach :)

Kelly - Wow, your prg seems to have flown by for me!! Not long to go at all now...how exciting!

Mako - Thanks for including us in Sage's bday celebrations! It was such a beautiful day and I can't believe how lucky we were with the weather! The kids had a ball and were thoroughly exhausted - they all slept all the way home! Made bed time interesting with the boys! LOL

Lee - Glad to hear you are surviving the single parenting gig. I'm up for a bit of it myself in coming weeks - DH starts the new job in two weeks and the kids and I will be staying behind in Sydney for an undetermined period of time :rolleyes: He will also be away for two weekends in a row (fishing comp booked months in advance and he is flying to Bris to see his brother before he deploys to Afghanistan) which will mean probably a 3-4 week stint. He will be home most weekends but I am still not relishing the thought!

I'd better run, got a million things to do before bed. Talk soon, take care.

Lee I haven't listened yet as I don't have a cd player - so I plan on putting them in the computer & playing them - but I suspect it will be a fairly emotional experience and having alone time is just non existent at present. I actually have them right beside my bed. I've even dreamed of your Chris - I just feel a conmection & I"m not sure what that's about. But no not yet - but I will be. :hug:
I am glad you are coping without your husband there & the retail therapy is helping!

Kelly: Not long now my love hey! Woo hooo it will be lovely to have a new babe in here!

Bun: Good luck my love with the move.

Jayney - I'm loving reading your adventures in China. I'm not sure if you & I talked about China when we met in Melbourne - but I loved my time in China. I fell in love with the most beautiful Chinese man who still has a piece of my heart. I still remember his face at Beijing airport & the sleet coming down as I said goodbye... *sigh*... I am glad you are enjoying life there - soak it up. I love the culture, the people & the experience... Sending you squishy hugs my love over the continents!

BW: Sounds like some big decisions have been made - I'm with Lee I know when my marriage fell apart quite spectacularly the people who were on the other end of the phone remained & will always remain as staunch friends. It's a hard road & knowing that there are others wging the war with us is so beautiful. xxx

Michelle: I can't imagine the emotions that you felt, but I feel so much for your journey. xxx Far out woman you're living a few lifetimes of lessons in less than 40 years. Just remember I love you, feel you & can't wait until we meet again. :hug:

Me: Well it's busy. I'm enjoying Ruby being home but it's really hard & confronting to know how on the out she was with her Dad. He still hasn' spoken to her, messaged her & now is requesting more custody of the other kids. He doesnt use the custody he now has & DD6 doesn't want any contact with her father - it's too hard to negotiate all the other kids & the girlfriend & he will not entertain the idea of seeing his girls separate to the new family. So she has requested a family mediator to hear her concerns. It feels so hard at times - yet that is coupled with a feeling of great happiness. I feel happier than I have in years, confident, clear, happy. Money issues worry me but I don't focus on it. I had a little full moon ceremony to sell my house & feel sure that will happen very soon. The buyer is there, & will step up very soon I can feel it.

I am enjoying friends, my kids, life in general. But that is tempered by the pain of my kids & I can't articulate how hard it is to detatch from that pain. It's so hard. But a work in progress...

Freya; Thinking of you my love - healing slowly I know but you will heal. xxx

Spring: How is that boys finger? My goodness. I miss you... :cry:

Kelly It is lovely to read of you cherishing the last few weeks of your pregnancy. Don't feel bad for enjoying it. I would too.

Jayne I love Zara. It's one of my favourite shops. Though I was in one today & trying on all their funky knitted stuff and feeling like a mutton dressed as lamb. Not sure what my new look is. It is definitely not " sensible mum" and it hasn't been teen trendy for quite a while! Anyhow, it's lovely reading about your adventures at poshville!

Michelle I am so sorry for your loss. You must be going through a really rough time and missing DH incredibly. Watching your little ones grow must be so bitter-sweet. And it must have been so hard to be at your IL's. :hugs: I hope you don't mind, I only know about you from yuour signature.

Mako An excavator cake! Wow, sounds amazing! Cakes have really come along since I was a kid I think.

Lee Inanna I am in complete awe of how you manage all your kids, your lives, everything. I find myself flat out with one as a SAHM.

AFM I just realised that this time last year I was just starting my last week of work. So if I wasn't self-employed, and so lucky to have such a supportive DH, I'd be back at work next week! I just can't imagine being without my little one all day. Also I would have gone back to work, but we're planning to buy a campervan next year and go travelling for maybe 6 months, so there wouldn't be a lot of point in me trying to find work that would fit into such a small window of time. That's what I tell myself anyway.

Hi to Bun, BW, and anyone else I missed. Hope everyone is having a good week. x

Hi again guys. Thought I would pop in again while waiting for my parents to arrive as both kids have just gone to bed AT THE SAME TIME!! Not sure how long it will last though...

pash - I am so sorry not to welcome you to our group in my last post. I remember you and all you went through well and I am so very happy to hear about your beautiful little DD who I am sure lights up your life every day. Sounds like a great plan to hire a campervan and go travelling - enjoy!!

Jayne - I meant to comment on Zara too - I love Zara!! Really nice clothes at reasonable prices. I bought a lot of stuff there last time I was in Europe (a long long time ago now!!). I am looking forward to getting back to Perth in a way as I will have family to help out with the kids, but I am also very sad to leave here. I have made some lovely friends and am very settled here now so I will miss it and I get a bit sad sometimes. Plus I LOVE our house here and we are busy getting it onto the market, but I don't want to sell it!!! We are trying to decide what to do in Perth but prices are ridiculous so not too sure yet.

Lee - I so hope I do get to meet you guys again, I would really love to spend more time with you all. Hopefully we will meet again at another get-together soon. I would love to get to Tassie someday too. We have friends in Hobart and would love to visit them and would definitely have to visit you too!

kelly - how are you going? Still hanging in there munching away on those vanilla slices?! lol

Michelle - huge huge :hug: hun. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to be back in the same place - what memories.

mako - I am glad to hear that Sage had such a lovely birthday. Good luck for your appointment on Friday - I hope your Dr has some good advice for you hun, I reckon you are destined to have another bub and the sooner the better!

freya - how are you going hun?

Willow - you sound just like us! We are selling our house here so we are working hard to get it ready to put on the market so we are also busy busy busy! We need to find somewhere to live in Perth too and don't even know the dates for the move yet. I will also be without DH here and there because he needs to fly over to start the new job so a lot of the move will be on my own which I hate!! I was on my own for the pack up and move over here and it was a nightmare and now I have another kid so am not looking forward to doing it again! I hope the move goes as smoothly as possible for you and good luck with finishing off the renos.

Hi to everyone else, hope you all had a lovely weekend :)

Im here! Sorry, Im two weeks behind in my Uni work and I spend most of my days sitting staring at the computer screen willing the want to finish it to appear. Its so boring and I really would rather just not do it lol

I dont know what we are doing. I had a few days of no bleeding now its back again, light and old/new, now today its sort of stopped..............again. I wish it would make up its mind. I wish I could make up my mind about TTC. One part of me never ever wants to again. One part of me wants to do it ASAP and hopefully, miraculously, get a BFP before the end of the year and live happily ever after. Part of me wants to wait until we move at the end of next year...........enjoy my time with Stellan being little still and start afresh. If that makes sense. We only have until Jan to conceive otherwise its over til 2012 as Dh is away in Feb for 4-6wks and then may be overseas from June-Dec. So atm Im just ignoring the whole thing and pretending life is normal. I will put off investigating my losses until I know what we are going to do, if DH doesnt go away in June then I'll get onto it before we leave Sydney.

Mako; Im so glad S had a wonderful birthday and very sorry we didnt make it :(

Im just going to fling big smooshy :hug: to everyone because Im very selfish these days. Back to staring at the comp screen and my stupid Uni work..............

Didn't expect to be quite so condemned for admitting to my want to be able to call more than I do.

But the reality is that I have a severe and chronic illness. When it's all I can do to get myself and Sam through the day clothed and fed, most of the time making a simple phone call is just way too exhausting for me. The act of holding the phone to my ear becomes painful, the effort of thinking through words and actually forming them to say is exhausting and difficult. I don't call anyone. I communicate in text because typing takes less effort than holding a phone and I have time to think and form words coherently. That's my reality. It sucks, I wish it were different, but it's a fairly normal day for me to just lay on the lounge and turn the TV on and hope to keep Sam happy and entertained enough... not because that's the way I want to live my life, but because I simply don't have the energy to do anything else. I live in constant pain and it is exhausting. I'm struggling with medications to reduce the pain making me so sick I can't move and can't do anything with Sam.

It's not a nice reality and I don't often get as blunt as I have, but I just want people to know that I'm not like this out of choice. As much as I may wish or will things to be different, I have no choice. :(

BW

Freya - please do not apologise, you are one of the least selfish people I have had the pleasure of meeting.... no great advice from me babe, other than give yourself some time and space to catch your breathe, it'll no doubt happen when it happens. We are all cheering for you xox. I feel your pain re. trying to do uni work, I have one assignment left (accounting, urgh) and I just can't get it done - with any of these things, when you are in the right space and zone, you will do it quickly - with that in mind, try not to stress (unless it's due tomorrow!!), hugs xoxoxo

BW - you said in your post you had "bad phone anxiety' - my comments were only meant as supportive, but you have misinterpreted them. Some of my friends appreciated me 'giving them permission to call' after my husband died - it eased their anxiety with calling and having no idea what to say - i.e. I gave them permission to try, and it helped some of them a lot (which in turn helped me know they were there for me). I hoped this might help you with Michelle. I'm sure nobody in here would expect you to endure extra physical pain on account of calling a friend when you yourself are not up to it.

Deb - no pressure to listen, all in good time hon - and I'm not at all surprised you have connected with Chris - he was a very old soul who has powerful connections - hope you enjoy the journey. How's the headlice situation - feel for you there, have not had it for a few years now, but by god it was shocking with DD13 - long and very thick locks too, I would have had her head shaved honestly! Good luck with abolishing the little critters 100%.

Not much to report with me ladies - DH has been away 3 weeks out of 7.5, so nearly halfway - I have found my groove, this time of day is very hectic, with dinner and bathing - thank god the big kids are such good helpers, as I'd be lost without them. I just took my DS11 to get his old claped out bike serviced - would cost $200 all up, new tyres etc.... long story short - I got him a brand new bike - can't describe the love and pleasure I felt when he rode it home, a grin from ear to ear - an unexpected gift of love... just feeling happy for him, he deserves it :)

Hi to everyone else - Jayne, whats the latest - done a yoga class yet?

Love Lee xo

Awww BW I am really sorry you felt condemned - my comment was to support you if you were anxious about calling that it is almost always gratefully received & the anxiety not realised due to that.
I certainly don't expect or wouldn't expect another to endure physical suffering - it was in reply to your comment that you had phone anxiety... :hug:

Deb - You must, must, must, must, must tell me about your China Man. It sounds like it's something you could write a book on!!!! I'm a fantastic people-watcher & I have noticed that the Chinese men ADORE their women, they are so attentive to them & they carry their handbags & are just all over them (in a respectful way) & if you were shown even half of what I have seen, by your Chinese Man than I can only imagine how wonderful it must have been. But please, please, please tell me more.

LEE _ Yoga, well that hasn't happened yet. The English speaking teachers teach the very advanced classes, which leaves me to a non-english speaking teacher, which is ok with me, but I did attend a Pilates course there & the other 'foreigners' that were there did their very best to avoid any possible eye contact with me, let alone even mutter a kind 'hello' to me. It wasn't through lack of trying, you have been me, I'll talk to vacant walls if I have to, but being positively avoided like that just burned me a little. I happened to meet an American Man in Maccas (of all places :rolleyes:) & he told me in his apartment complex there are 2 families from Perth & that his wife attends a Zumba class with them, so I have done some googling & I think I have found the class & I might try & go on Friday morning. At the moment I'm having fun shopping & getting my bearings & getting my apartment all homely like. Plus I'm enjoying the solitude for a while. My life was crazy, busy at home & running around like a pork chop taking the kids to every activity under the sun. I'm liking it being a lot more quieter. GLad to know that you have found your mojo!!!! Plus, I love how you splurged on the new bike, the perfect reward for such good behaviour! love it.

BW _ Breaks my heart hearing you talk about how ill you are. Not that I don't want you to talk about it, quite the opposite, but it just all-round sucks!

WILLOW _ So glad the boy is on the mend!!! I bet it's a scary ride for life with breathing issues like that. :(

FREYA _ Throw yourself into your study darl, but can you just let me be 'your bit on the side'? bahahaha

MAKO _ SO, so, so glad to hear that the day was perfect for Sage & WTG on the cake, I gave up on making cakes years ago (when Alan went away to work) & I find it so much easier to have a peter-perfect, no hassle cake arrive on the doorstep the day of the party. lol.

BUN _ Lucky thing, with the double sleep time!!! Yeah, Zara is very European & I love it. I thought Pumpkin Patch was cute, but Zara is the bomb, maybe cos it's so diff? I got Claudia the cuttest little dress & underneath it she wears jodhpurs!!! How cute is that? I'm loving it! I plan on doing a little shop in there for myself this week actually. I need a new pair of jeans.

PASH _ Oh darl, talk yourself right out of going back to work. I know I sure as heck would!!!

MICHELLE _ Oh sweets, the first trip is bound to be the hardest, I can only hope you found some comfort in being with Greg's family? Don't tell me George is approachign 4 months, I don't need to hear things like that!

ME _ Well today was back to school & I did some cleaning, washing & grocery shopping. I'm DYING for a foot massage & pedi, so I might just have to looksie into that for myself tomorrow!!! I think I deserve it. hahahah

Love Jayne x

Sorry - I'm a bit sensitive about it all today. Having lots of troubles with meds and finding an effective treatment just seems hopeless. I tend to hide behind "phone anxiety". It's there, it's a bit easier to explain than the other stuff... I think the reality behind the phone anxiety is that I don't call because I'm in pain and then so much time has elapsed I get anxious about making the call after so long and it just makes it even harder. I'm really sorry that I snapped. :grouphug:

BW

You're amongst friends BW - no need to be sorry we understand... :comfort:

Beautifully said Deb!!! Exactly my thoughts. But BW, have you thought about using the 'speaker' option?? Just a thought, not trying to push.........

I have done it a couple of times, Jayne... it's not very clear so I need to concentrate to understand. It helps a little with the holding part of things, but not a lot with the difficulty speaking coherently side of things. It's a bit better with the new mobile I've got, but pretty crappy with our landline. Perhaps I should try it. I've got myself a bigger cap than I need, so I'm not going to kill the budget by trying.

BW

I couldnt think of a better bit on the side hot stuff Jayney; Im all yours ;)

Aaaaah my China man... It seems like a lifetime ago & I guess it was... He was handsome & smelt like vegetables & oil... It was he who showed me that love at first sight exists - (personally I believe that is a past life thing, but I digress). He was my guide - & he showed me his country, his family & I have never cried so much without stopping until that point in time as when I left Beijing on a very cold Feb day amidst snow... Not one of my letters back to him got to him they were all opened & returned (Chinese govt)... He had warned me we would never have contact again - & he was right. Actually writing this hurts my chest...

It truly was a love story & it was beautiful!

Jayne I took that exact same approach this year with Sage's cake..I stress far too much about it having to be perfect and I'm so not the creative one who could ever pull off a cake like he had on Saturday :)
I hope you manage to get your mani and pedi this week sometime. I'm loving "hearing" about your adventure and seriously got mad about those people ignoring you the other day. They have no idea what a lovely person you are and its their loss not yours :hug:

Inanna What a lovely story about your China Man.

Freya I'm sure you'll catch up with your uni stuff soon. What course have you decided to do? Was it nursing or teaching or have I missed the mark completely?
Don't worry about Saturday. It would have been lovely to see you and your boys again but some other time when you're feeling up to it. Maybe we could arrange another meet up down your way with everyone from there before Willow moves this way??

Lee well done on being at the half way mark and having your own groove going on. Also I bet your DS was stoked with his new bike :)

Hi to everyone else. Need to get this tired body of mine into bed and hopefully get a decent nights sleep for a change.

Oh my goodness, I've been missing so much! I hardly get any time on the PC, and when I do lately it's all bl00dy EMAILS. And bellybelly is so slow and annoying on my phone, I've given up on it. But.......my iphone4 is on order, so I'll be back in the swing of things very soon! How I've missed you all! I wish all the time that we could all see each other often :hug:

I must go to bed, so no persies tonight, but you're all in my thoughts :)

Deb - What a great story about your chinaman... so sweet!! It's such a blessing to have some wonderful memories like that!

Mako - Sage's cake looked AMAZING!! I really quite enjoy making cakes but I'm also a bit of a perfectionist and it ends up being quite the nightmare... I sooo should look into just getting one made next time too!!! Especially seeing how great they come out.. I could never pull that off either!!! LOL.

BW - I didn't realise how hard things were for you either... sounds just awful... massive hugs.

Freya - Urrgggg... uni work. I don't know how you do it!! Hope you manage to get through it all.

Jayne - I'm amazed at you... doing the whole china thing and settling in so well!!! You blow me away!! I'd be soooo annoyed at Alan going away so much too. Hope you manage to meet some of the aussie's from the building up the road... that will make a huge difference!! It's so great hearing from you... I miss you on FB but thank god we've still got you in here!!!

Big hello's to everyone else.. sorry I haven't done a very good job of personals.. I'm just so damn tired. DH is away again and was up at 4am to get to the airport... crazy!! So of course, I didn't get much sleep after that.. I'm just so uncomfortable!! Luke has been extremely naughty lately too.. he went crazy yesterday afternoon.. I had a whole hour of hysterical screaming and crying.. over nothing! I think he was just really tired but still.. it was out of control. We haven't had a tantrum that bad for a while. He's been a bit of a nightmare this morning already too so god help me while DH is away! It's not really what I need right now... he's just losing the plot over the tinest things and I don't really know how to calm him down and get over it! This morning he lost it because he couldn't carry all of his soft toys at once (he's got so many of them)! And it turned into a huge tantrum! Then he couldn't keep the blanket over him.. and again... huge drama. Arrgggg!! Thank god tomorrow is daycare days and I'll get a bit of a break. Then only 2 weeks until Mum is here.. I can't wait.

Sorry for the little whinge.. it's just all getting to me right now.. damn hormones (well I'll blame it on that anyway)... now where are those vanilla slices... LOL!!

Kel xxx

Janie how are you and the boys doing? I can't believe little D is 8 months old :o

Kelly aren't the tanties fun..NOT!! Sage is pretty good at chucking them too don't you worry. During his he'll often say "mummy where's your good boy gone" :rofl: I have been known to say that too him in the past but I have to laugh on the inside when he says it while he's have a wobbly hahaha
I hope the day improves for you and hope your DH isn't away for too long.

LOL... Oh Mako... I love it!!!! That's absolutely hilarious and actually made me laugh out loud!!! Beats what Luke says to me... I just get told to "go away... I don't want you anymore".... just lovely! LOL. Thankfully we had playgroup this morning, so it was a good distraction and then we went to the shops so after all that, Luke fell asleep in the car on the way home... just as I had planned!!! So he's asleep on the couch now and I might join him!!! I'm hoping a sleep today will do the trick. DH is back tomorrow night (midnight flight unfortuantely).. so I can't really complain!!

Kel xxx

MAKO _ I'm also a fan of Sage's little phrase, Jessica used to say 'one more from you & you're in your room' & point with her finger towards the bedroom. I"m so hearing you about knowing when you don't have the creative edge for cake decorating. I sooooooooo don't have it, so no point pretending I do. lol.

KELLY _ Hope you caught some z's my love, coming into the last days now, you need it.

JANIE _ Yes, you must join us!!!! I don't have fb here in China & I need my Janie fix!!!

LEE _ I love how you hate me, makes me feel all gooey inside.

FREYA _ You're the hottest stuff woman, I'm happy to be your gal-thing! But be careful, Michelle might get jealous, she's my 'other' woman on Skype!

DEB _ You have to go into more detail!!! I want to know more!!!! I can just picture the scene at the airport. Do you wish that you had bought him back to Aus with you?? How long ago was this? Which City?

BW _ Yes, try with the speaker, geepers, spend a day with me my love & there will be no more conversation anxiety let me tell you. lol. I'm intrigued, & please tell me if I'm asking too much, but when your phone rings at home, do you panic? The only reason I ask, was because I was like this when jess was a newborn, I used to stress to the max that the phone would ring & mid-convo Jess would start screaming & I would have to hang up. Sad but true, I used to take the phone off the hook :( Luckily for me, it was a passing phase.

SPRING & LISA _ Where are you?????????????????

BUN _ I guess you're busy in fix it mode. Prices are HUGE in atwell atm, but I'm not sure if it's a buyers or sellers market though, but I'm sure you will make the right decision. Where else are you looking to buy?

PASH _ How's that gorgeous girl?

WILLOW _ HOw did the weaning from Ventolin go today?

MICHELLE _ Hope you got the z's you desperately needed last night after George's marathon performance. xx

Massive Hello's to anybody I may have missed - blame my aching body from hours of walking today, all to find an English bookstore. But man, it was sooooooooo worth it!

I'm officially ready for an IVF Cycle I think, eggs are completely freaking frozen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was sooooooooo cold today that I think Jessica's ears were seconds from frosting over! Beanies tomorrow for the walk to school. Or better still, a taxi ride! My goodness, I never knew it was scientifically possible to be so cold & this is just the beginning. Thankfully the lovely Zara shop was more than happy to swap me a lovely black trench coat for all my chinese yuan. bahahahahaa

Love Jayne x

Strangely, I'm ok if the phone rings. Unless I'm in the middle of a spat with the inlaws and then I'll freak out in case it's them ringing. So as long as I haven't managed to upset someone, the phone ringing is fine.

My pain levels have been utterly horrific today. :( If I didn't know what it was, I'd be fronting up to emergency and asking questions. But Sam has been so cute through it all. When I've elected to crawl from one room to another as standing and walking just seems too painful - he's got down and crawled along behind me thinking it's a great game! And our new favourite phrase is "all gone" with hands raised and all. He's growing up way too fast!

BW

:

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During his he'll often say "mummy where's your good boy gone"

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That kid is pure gold.

Double post

LOL Willow. I have to admit he comes out with the funniest things lately..Here's one from today..DH and I decided to take him over to Redhead near the beach to feed the ducks this arv, anyway while we were there he said "mummy that's a naughty duck" I looked at him trying to figure out why it was a naughty duck so decided to ask "why the duck was naughty" He replied "well it just bit daddy on the knackers" PMSL Poor DH had o turn the other way as he was nearly on the ground laughing. We have absolutely no idea where he came up with that and for the record daddy didn't get bitten by a duck or anything else for that matter :rofl: