Parenting books I am thinking of buying...

[Zinnia]

Secrets of the baby whisperer - Tracy Hogg

The completey secrets of happy children - Steve Biddulph

The new contented little baby book - Gina Ford

Babybliss - Jo Ryan


What are your thoughts/opinions?

[BellyBelly]

Only one I would ever consider from that list is Steve Biddulph who is a brilliant parenting author. Don't know Jo Ryan tho so can't comment. I like Pinky McKay, Margot Sunderland and others. The BB Online store has all the books we recommend and are BRILLIANT!

[Bathsheba]

I have the New Contented Little Baby Book. Waste of money. MUCH better ideas in Bellybelly... which are free.

Steve Biddulph is pretty good... but i haven't read that title.

haven't heard of Tracey Hogg or Jo Ryan.


You should look into buying Pinky McKays' titles.... now she writes some very helpful books

ETA: Snap Kelly!

[Zinnia]

Thanks!

I have read one of Steve's other books and I agree he is fantastic. Will have a look at the store now.

[sloane]

i also love pinky's books & her website/enewsletters i've also found helpful.

i have the tracey hogg book on loan from the library at the moment - i borrowed it out of curiosity but haven't read it thoroughly yet. she comes from a different school of thought than pinky. if you like that way of thinking, then i think her main book might be better than the 'secrets' book - it's not as comprehensive i don't think.

i guess it also depends what you're looking for in the books - whether it's general parenting advice, specific advice on something like sleep or eating or toddlers?

i think the great thing about the pinky books is that they make me feel like i'm the best person for the job of mothering my baby & that i am getting it right! they give me confidence.

[Bathsheba]

Yes, I love the tone of Pinky's books. She 'speaks' to me with warmth and encouragement.... whilst many others, espeically Gina Ford, speak to me in the strict tone of a matron with condescension and very little warmth... makes parenting out to be a job like nursing where routines MUST be followed to the "T" or else all hell will break loose. Very little room for using your own instincts when it comes to Ms Ford. To me that is very wrong: the mothering instinct should be encouraged not discouraged.

[Zinnia]

I'm currently 27 weeks... and to be honest I am starting to stress about taking care of a newborn and how to be a good parent! So looking for books with some help and advice.

From what I've read about controlled crying etc. it is not something that I would want to try, so trying to find baby and parent friendly approaches. I do love the idea of having a routine though.

[Bathsheba]

Zinnia: a loose routine can be good... but any book that tells me to wake up my sleeping baby regardless of the time that he or she fell asleep rings alarm bells with me! This is what Gina Ford recommends... always wake at exactly the same time each day. A routine such as play, feed, bath, breast feed, sleep is good.... but not 4.15 play, 4.30 feed, 4.45 bath, 5.00 breast feed, 5.30 sleep (for example) is NOT good. it doesn't allow for the necessary flexibility you and baby require. it is also very unfriendly to your other children.... or simply having a life!

[Zinnia]

Oh I completely agree with you Bathsheba!

LOL That would make me think I'm back in school (I attended boardingschool in high school).

Think the Ford book will be deleted from my list!

[sloane]

congratulations zinnia

tbh, i'm a researcher & like to read as much as i can but i'm not sure that too much of it sank in before i had my DS & i think my 'on the job' training has been more beneficial than things i've read in books! there are so many differing opinions on what is good for babies - for eg, some are all about routines, others say don't even think about routines etc! and it's really tough to know what is going to work until your baby is here. and i've also read books that i don't particularly like or agree with the philosphy that i've still found bits of info that have been useful. i reckon a good bet could be to join a library, if you haven't already, and take advantage of their resources & that way you can read all sorts of books & if one really hits home, then you can buy it.

while looking after a NB is full on, you're going to do just fine - it's amazing how instinct kicks in & you just get stuck in & do what you need to. i am sure you're going to be a wonderful mum/parent - and the pinky books are great for reminding you of this. it's exactly like bath says - they're so warm & reassuring.

i was desperate for a life with no routine & then when it happened, i was completely thrown! but my DS worked himself into a routine gradually over time.

anyways, enough waffling from me! congrats again

[Peg]

Zinnia: a loose routine can be good... but any book that tells me to wake up my sleeping baby regardless of the time that he or she fell asleep rings alarm bells with me! This is what Gina Ford recommends... always wake at exactly the same time each day. A routine such as play, feed, bath, breast feed, sleep is good.... but not 4.15 play, 4.30 feed, 4.45 bath, 5.00 breast feed, 5.30 sleep (for example) is NOT good. it doesn't allow for the necessary flexibility you and baby require. it is also very unfriendly to your other children.... or simply having a life!

gotta say i totally agree with that

sometimes things come up that will make it impossible to stick to a routine like that. If you have children at school for instance, there is the school runs in the morning and afternoon. You're bound to have an appointment at some stage, or you may run out of milk and have to go to the shops...there are too many variables to be stuck to a set routine every day.

I have a friend who is in such a routine and she cant come around for dinner EVER because her boy goes to ged at 7.30 on the dot....and if we go around there for dinner, he's in bed and we have to try and keep our dd3 quiet so as to not wake him. So i am definately against strict routines.

[~me~]

Highly recommend any Steve Bidduph book. I have Raising boys and will be getting his Raising girls.
Pinky is great as is Robyn Barker. I have Robyn Barker Baby Love and the Mighty Toddler and use them all the time.

[Cassius2]

yep, i think a great combo is Pinky with Robin Barkers 'Baby Love'. with those two you will have all you need to feel like you're doing a great job. the good thing about these types of books is that there is no condescension. In fact, i would go so far as to say that you NEED 'baby love' lol. i have just read Pinky's stuff off her internet site and on here, so can't comment fully on her published monographs.

HTH!

[*Belle*]

Hi there

Out of the books you mentioned I have read:

Gina Ford - found it very regemented and to strict however, I did read the summary table at the suggested feed and sleep routine for certain age and they were helpful.

Tracy Hogg - have her book, read it when I was pregnant with my first child, and we did do the basic's she mentioned, feed, play sleep routine.

For reference books I totally recommend Robyn Barker both Babylove and The Toddler one too, every helpful if you have a question that needs to be answered in the middle of the night.

I found Miriam Stoppard interesting too to read.

I have Raising Girls book and honestly I didnt like the way it was written but everyone is different.

Loved Pinky McKay! - cannot recommend her high enough!

[Jandals]

I like the Steve Biddulph book but think it would be more helpful for older children rather than babies.

My favourite parenting book of all time is "The Science of Parenting" by Margot Sunderland. Although it doesn't provide specific suggestions for routines etc, it does provide an awesome amount of information which I've found to be a huge help when making decisions around sleep/feeding/behaviour. It's based on the latest neuro-science and for me, it just makes sense. I have teamed this up with Pinky McKay's "Sleeping Like a Baby". DH is really enjoying The Science of Parenting too.

One other book I would recommend is "The Attachment Connection" by Ruth Newton. The book is based on attachment theory - the first half explains attachment theory and some of the science behind it (easy read - nothing too heavy) and the second half takes you through stages from birth to 4 or 5 years explaining how your child's brain is developing and how as a parent we can help 'foster a secure attachment, healthy social skills, and emotional regulation'.

Sorry I can't help with any of the others you've listed. There are so many parenting books out there - it can be terrifying trying to figure out where to start. Good luck!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I love The Science of Parenting and Families and how to Survive Them. The only two books I needed!
Thin
I did have lent to me Baby Whisperer and What to expect... the first year. Didn't get on with them. Tracey Hogg labels my child as "spirited" - but other labels include "angel", "textbook", "grumpy" and ... can't remember the last one. Thing I found, you want your first baby to be in the "perfect" label, so I didn't want a "spirited with a dollop of grumpy" baby when he's so wonderful! But her advice was pretty much "if your baby isn't doing what I say, you're doing it wrong" and given DS was in a car accident at 8w old there was no way I was following her advice over caring for my son. And promising sleeping through babies by 3m old is not on! What to expect basically told me my son was a child genius as he did everything in half the time: he was doing what I should be expecting at 8m by 4m, for example (except self-feeding, which had to wait until he could grab my food and self-feed himself his first solids). Only works if your baby is normal, and my son is exceptional.

I did read others, but was not impressed.

I found it better to watch my baby, his character and my day and character. Then I could write a parenting manual for just us!