My fave, (if you're aiming away from traditional discipline based on fear, rewards/punishment etc) is Alfie Kohn "Unconditional Parenting". It's pretty controversial compared to mainstream general parenting practices and you may not take all of it on board but I found it to be the most useful book I've ever read in getting me to question my own parenting style, the style I was raised with (which was hugely conditional) and the style I want to work towards. We don't take this approach every single minute but I strive to be unconditional and I have found it to really sit well with my approach to life and my other training and employment background.
The other one I read when DS was about a year old was Pinky McKay's Toddler Tactics - it has a huge number of practical strategies and down to earth discussion of typical toddler behaviours.
It's been ages but I remember that Steve Biddulph's books about boys and happy children seemed relatively sensible.
The older they get the more I realise that no-ne has written a book about my boys so I tend to look to the people I trust for advice when specific issues are concerning me. People like the older generations of my family, my amazing friends, the girls on BB.
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