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Thread: angry and at times scary 3 yr old

  1. #1

    Default angry and at times scary 3 yr old

    Would this worry you? would you ignore it or seek help?
    My 3 year old for the lasts year or so has become an angry kid. He is angry most of the time, he has wicked tantrums and controls our family depending on his mood. happy boy happy family, angry boy unhappy family.
    What concerns me the most is his apparent tendency to talk about violence. He wants to burn the house down and live in a dark cave with the baddies, he wants to kill everyone, or turn them into meat!! He has said he is going to throw petrol on me before. WTF!!!, He doesn't watch any TV that isn't age appropriate and he hasn't got this from Mem Fox thats for sure. My husband and I have a loving peaceful relationship and his older brother (he is number 2 of 3 boys) does not talk like this.
    It breaks my heart to think that he thinks like this, I think we are a loving family.. He pushes the boundaries with me all day long, ignoring me, refusing to be disciplined, ie won't go to time out. and then if I get angry with him he gets upset that I"m angry and pleads with me to be happy, even though he has been angry all day!
    When he is good he is very very good, funny, bright, imaginative
    but when he is bad he is indeed horrid.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    summer street


    No advice, but didn't want to read and run

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Moura, QLD, Australia


    oh many many

    are you sure he isn't watching anything he shouldn't or perhaps seeing magazines with articles about throwing petrol

    I dont know what to say excpet thinking of you

  4. #4


    You poor thing had to say my heart goes out to you!
    I had problem with my ds when he was 4-5 it was different to what you were saying about your ds mine decided that he hated me and mums were lower class people talked horrible and would get angry towards me punch and kick walls ect. we didnt experience the type of anger you are talking about but i know the pain of thinking your child has something wrong he seems evil thats how i felt at the time anyway.
    my advice would be to get some outside help
    Does he attend kinda or day care cause thats a great place to start asking questions he could be getting it from somewhere out side the home?
    i went to my maternal child health nurse and they sent a lady out to talk to me she came back and observed him talked through different stratagies with me really helped to talk to someone and see that it wasnt my fault.
    In my case it was as i suspected he was angry over the birth of ds2 he was born sick and for 12 months needed my attention i tried to be fair with them but when one child sick they take up a bit more time. we worked with him through it and he is the most beautiful boy and very loving and caring sometimes they see things differently to us and he could be angry about something that doesnt make sense to you.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Jul 2007


    Wow, I wish I had some advice for you.
    I did read somewhere that they have more testosterone in their little bodies at that age than at any other time, so that probably isn't helping.
    Sounds like lovemy2boyz has some good advice, I'd probably go to the mchn first.
    Good luck! I'll be thinking of you

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    south eastern melbourne

    Default hope all gets sorted!

    i know how you feel, my ds(4) has been realy naughty for just over a year now, been trying different things, but either nothing works, or it works for a week max, his favorite thing is telling me he will cut my head off when he started 4yo kinder this year, i asked his teacher to keep an eye on him and let me know if there is any problems, he was going fine till 2 months ago, slowly started getting worse, the last 2 chats i had with his teacher included him turning himself into an animal, hiding his shoes and snarling at the kids, and snipping sissors at another child, they were trying time out with him, it dosent work for them, as much as it dosent work for me!
    his little brother acts like him, but when he is at kinder, my younger son is compleatly different, little angel! just my eldest is naughty no matter were he is, i have seen a peadiatrician with him, she said there is no major concern for his behavior (HA! its not her house he is terrorising!) she sugessted that i keep trying to find diffrent routines ect till i get one that works... and that i should take comfort in the fact he isnt suffering a dissorder or anything making him this way!
    the only thig that i can think of is that he could be acting like his 14 and 16 yo uncles (one is a smart a** the othe thinks he is gangster) and my 11yo spoilt brat of a sister, so trying to eliminate sleep overs at grandparents houses, hoping we get results from that....
    hope the problems you have with your son works out, there couldnt be a family member/neighbour ect that he could be trying to copy? its so hard when there are no answers, they should be born with instructions for the difficult parts!

  7. #7


    Sympathy too ... I have the 9yo girl milder variant. I have no idea what stops it, she just gets good sometimes and horrible sometimes, but there's usually a trigger to start it.

    Just had quite the argument between her and her little sister ... I'm starting to get quite concerned how often the 9yo hits people. When they are 3 you can hold onto hope that they will grow out of it and it is just a phase, when they are older it is quite worrying.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Cherry Tree Lane


    ohh yes- mrs jsut turne dthree is the same- serius rage happening.

    i have tried everything so what i do know is try to love him thru it so hold him and say " i know u are angry darling bu ti love you a lot, now i am going to go in my room and shut the door so when you are nice to me then i wll come up" or something similar- i try not to react with anger so so hard.

    lets hope it doest last!


  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Perth Western Australia


    My advice would be to seek some proffessional advice, the worst they could tell you is that it is an age/ deelopmental thing. At best someone will be able to offer you some advice on what to do.

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