DH about to hit the wall... and I'm feeling disillusioned

[Kmn]

Can you bundle up Zac really well and get your DH to take him for a walk when he gets home? Bub will probably calm down, dad will get some exercise and you will get a little while to breathe and sort things out a bit. And they will have some Daddy-and-bub time too.

[~clover~]

Maybe on the weekend you guys could leave the messy house behind & take baby Zac to the park for a picnic lunch.
Things feel different with a NB out doors. They calm easier & the crying isn't as intense.

The bath/shower with baby is a great idea too. I used to do this alot.
I also used to have a shower every night after all babies were asleep & just sit in there by myself for at least half an hour.

Maybe find something to do, just for 5 minutes at a time that gets you out of the house. Maybe some gardening or something? I started stupidly smoking again a few weeks after DS was born, just so I could shut the kids inside & go outside for 5 minutes alone. I wish I'd though of something constructive like gardening, lol. But I usually found the need to escape at night. Things are harder at the end of the day.

[Melly01]

Something that was arranged for my PND mothers group was baby massage, and the partners were able to come in and have lessons too. This really helped me have some down time with DS and seemed to settle him down before bed. Apparently it's also good for fathers since they get to have some one-on-one time with their babies that is (hopefully) calm and enjoyable.

I also used to be terrible at taking my meds. But because my meds make me so tired and wacked out (doctors won't change them because they say at least they're working and I'm not depressed as much), I've had to start taking my doseage at night. So I keep a bottle of water next to my bed with my meds so that I remember to take them every night. Before that I used to have to carry them around with me and set an alarm on my phone so I'd remember to take them at set times during the day. And even then I'd still forget! haha

I never thought to take DS in the shower with me, I wish I had though. I ended up putting him in a bouncer on the bathroom floor just so I could get to have a shower without him screaming because he couldn't see me.

There was also a children & family care centre which ran the PND mothers group who also had a free psychiatrist who let me bring DS with me to every session. Hopefully there is some kind of support system like that near you, if you aren't able to get the support you need from family or friends.

Sorry, I couldn't think of much advice to offer you. I hope things improve for you soon. I know how hard it is to be feeling depressed and having to cope with so many stressors.

[lovelycate]

thanks ladies
Fortunately DH managed to get outside in the weekend and did some 'manly' stuff around the block - by the end of Saturday he was much more like the healthy happy man I love. He recognises that he needs to do more of that just for his own sanity. A really nice bonus for me, apart from him cheering up so much, was that he became much more supportive and volunteered to do things that normally I've had to ask and ask for.

So hopefully he can keep that up, and I can focus on keeping my own sanity in line :-)

[misty]

Glad to hear things are going better. Babies (ALL kids in fact) can be incredibily stressful and threaten the sanity of even the most stable minded person, no matter how much you might love them - particularly when lack of sleep is also an issue.

Good luck with everything.